How to be a Villain
by MangoKat
Summary: COMPLETE! Part 2 of The Postman series. Link is overcome by guilt and is looking to right what he's done. Meanwhile The Postman is working for Ganondorf and will the Gerudo King succeed in winning over his loyalty?
1. Link's Regret

**Authornote:**

**Hello, everyone, sorry for the delay! I've been trying to upload this since yesterday but the site was being a tool. Here's part 2 of The Postman series! Please read and review as I'm always up for suggestions or criticisms! :)**

**(I have revised this first chapter and will slowly begin to revise the other chapters as well. I will always state in the Author note whether the chapter has yet been revised)  
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><p><strong><span>How to be a Villain<span>**

Link's regret

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><p>The news of Ganondorf's defeat spread fast across the nations. The entire country of Hyrule instantly rejoiced, relieved that once again their hero saved the day. Every town and village celebrated the victory by declaring a holiday and having great feasts and parties to commemorate Link. Once again, there was peace in Hyrule.<p>

Zelda was enjoying the festivities as well and was overseeing the preparations of a large banquet. Servants flitted about the room doing everything she ordered and the dining hall looked stunning with the silk banners and large bouquets of flowers.

Link, who was the guest of honour, was slouched in a chair on the far side of the room, feeling very out of place. He was a boy born in the forest and raised on the battlefield, so being pandered to and admired made him uncomfortable.

Zelda smiled at him from across the room, dressed her finest dress of gold and blue, and despite himself, Link smiled back. Zelda approached, cheeks flushed with excitement and eyes sparkling, and took a seat next to him with an exhausted sigh. Although she looked tired, her smile was still bright and she straightened her dress as she glanced over at him.

"You don't have to look so miserable." she teased. "This is a celebration in your honour, you know."

"I know." Link said, gazing across the dining hall. "It's just that the battle is still fresh in my mind. I'm not used to so much quiet."

Zelda gestured towards the servants setting up the banquet, all of them bickering and yelling at one another. "You call this too quiet?" she asked in amusement. "I can barely hear myself think!"

Link didn't answer but offered her a small smile. Only those who had seen the nightmare of battle would ever truly understand what he meant.

"You should enjoy yourself." Zelda said gently. "Hyrule's dark times are finally at an end and you can hang up your sword."

Link looked away, smile disappearing. "I know I should be happy, princess, but I just have a feeling it's not over yet..."

Zelda placed a hand on his arm comfortingly. "You killed Ganondorf, you saw him die yourself. He's dead and isn't coming back. Hyrule is safe and no one has to worry any more."

Link's eyes were troubled when he looked up at her. "Ganondorf has a habit of escaping death. I can never be sure he isn't lurking out there somewhere."

Zelda shook her head, not even wanting to consider it. "You killed him, Link. He couldn't have survived."

Link gave an uncertain nod. "When I fought him, I stabbed him through the chest and he was almost dead when I left him. The entire castle was on fire and it collapsed on top of him but I still feel like it's not over."

Zelda was rather surprised. "The castle collapsed?" she asked in interest. "I wasn't aware of that."

Link gave another nod. "The magic Ganondorf shot at me caused the fires and weakened the structure. I saw it collapse as I was climbing Death Mountain."

Zelda's eye widened. "I'm glad you got out!" she exclaimed. "I do hope The Postman got out in time as well."

Link hesitated a moment as he furrowed his brow in confusion. "The Postman?" he questioned. "Why would you care if he got out? He kidnapped you!"

"Kidnapped me? The Postman?" Zelda asked in surprise. "Are we talking about the same postman?"

"Hyrule's postman." Link confirmed.

"Why would a postman kidnap me?" Zelda asked, raising an eyebrow. "The only way The Postman would kidnap me is if someone stuck a stamp on my forehead!"

Link was confused and gave the princess a frown. "But the guards at the castle said The Postman was the last person to enter your room before you were kidnapped! He's been helping Ganondorf all along!"

Zelda now matched Link's confused frown. "What? We were both kidnapped together by Ganondorf..."

Link shook his head. "No. He refused to help us when he knew of Ganondorf's location, then he was at the castle during the final fight. He was working with Ganondorf the entire time!"

Zelda continued to frown at him. "Of course he was at the castle; we were kidnapped." she stated. "And what do you mean he was helping Ganondorf?"

"The Postman had the master key hidden in an envelope and refused to give it to me. He was working with Ganondorf to keep me out of the tower!"

Zelda's frown deepened all the more. "You mean the letter he was trying to deliver? It had the master key in it?"

Link gave a nod.

"The Postman seemed very determined to deliver that letter but he didn't seem to know what was in it." Zelda said thoughtfully. "He kept mentioning that he had to deliver it but didn't appear to be hiding anything. He was even the one to help me escape the dungeon."

Link's eyes widened in shock and he sat straight up in his chair. "He helped you escape?"

"Yes..." Zelda replied, starting to get a bad feeling about the whole thing. "He could have just left me there, but he went out of his way to trick the guards into letting me go. I wouldn't have been able to escape if it wasn't for him and I probably would have died."

Link felt stunned straight to his very core and he quickly averted his eyes from the princess. "I thought he was helping Ganondorf... I was sure... I- I really didn't know..."

Zelda's eyes widened in realization. "Link, what did you do?" she demanded. "Did you do something to him?"

Link let out a deep breath and stared down at the floor uneasily. "He wouldn't give me the envelope and I was angry at what I thought he'd done. The betrayal wasn't something I could forgive."

Zelda reached out and took him by the hand and gave it a squeeze, encouraging him to continue.

Link felt horribly guilty and closed his eyes. "...I was so mad at him and he wasn't cooperating..." Link answered hesitantly. "I needed the key so... so I fought him for it..."

Zelda let a gasp. "Link, he isn't a warrior! He just a postman, a civilian! How could you have fought against a civilian?"

Link looked even guiltier and his shoulders slumped. "I was so furious, I wasn't thinking straight." he confessed. When I thought he was standing in my way of getting to Ganondorf, I.."

Link hesitated a long moment before continuing. "I killed him for the key."

Zelda's mouth dropped open in horror. "Oh, Link!" she cried. "He didn't do anything wrong! He saved me!"

Link said nothing as he sat, eyes closed and fists clenched. He felt like an absolute monster and took a deep, shaky breath. Zelda gave his hand another squeeze in comfort, still unable to believe Link would do such a thing. The cheerful, dependable postman that she was fond of was dead, killed by the one sworn to protect the people.

"I didn't know," Link said quietly. "I killed an innocent person."

"It will be alright, Link." Zelda assured him with a sad frown. "It was an accident; you thought you were doing the right thing."

"That doesn't make his death justifiable." Link responded, slumping further.

"No." Zelda agreed.

Link slowly stood to his feet and stared across the room numbly. Everyone seemed so happy and energetic as they prepared the banquet and Link felt he deserved none of it. He didn't feel like celebrating and let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm going to go for a ride on Epona." he stated.

Zelda gave him a nod of understanding. "Perhaps that will make you feel better."

Link turned away. "No. No, it won't."

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><p>The desert air was blistering hot but The Postman didn't notice, feeling chilled to the bone. He was in a state of shock and gave a shudder, unable to believe what had happened. He stood at the outer edge of the room, drenched in blood and staring blankly at the Gerudos in front of him.<p>

When Ganondorf had first appeared in his throne room in the Gerudo City with The Postman by his side, the Gerudos had been surprised. They had given The Postman a curious look, wondering if he was a prisoner but didn't question their king.

Ganondorf was angry and exhausted and flopped down into his throne with an exaggerated sigh immediately upon arrival. The Gerudos instinctively knew what had happened and were quick to wait on him hand and foot. Ganondorf had scowled moodily at everyone and everything but allowed his subjects to fuss over him. He accepted the wine they brought and drank three glasses before his posture began to relax.

Looking up into the fearful and expectant faces of his Gerudos, Ganondorf explained all that had transpired. He told them of his defeat by Link's hand and it was obvious the Gerudos were both disappointed and disheartened. Gathering around their king, they gave him kind words and gentle encouragements and that seemed to placate Ganondorf somewhat.

After his fifth glass of wine, Ganondorf's gaze fell on The Postman. He gave a frown, having completely forgotten about him, an motioned him forward. Feeling incredibly uncomfortable when every eye turned to him, The Postman obediently approached. Ganondorf stared down at him a long moment as he took another sip of wine then said

"You have agreed to come under my employment. By doing so, you swear allegiance to me and to the Gerudo nation. You will not betray me or any Gerudo. As of today you are a part of the Gerudo Clan and will give us your unfaltering loyalty. Do you understand and accept?"

Eyes on the floor, The Postman gave a mute nod, still looking like he was in shock.

Ganondorf seemed satisfied with this and gave a grunt. "I accept your word, postman. Do not disappoint me."

The Gerudos all whispered amongst themselves, surprised and confused over the turn of events. Men, other than Ganondorf, were banned from Gerudo territory so the entire situation was very unorthodox. The Gerudos weren't sure how they felt about this but none said a word, not daring to question their king. The Postman was nobody special and they wondered what use he could possibly have for war.

Although The Postman wasn't looking, he could feel the gazes on his back and shifted slightly. Ganondorf watched him for a moment then said

"You have free reign to go where you want but don't leave Gerudo territory. If I summon you, you're to come to me without hesitation and without question. Any disobedience will not be tolerated."

"Yes, sir." The Postman said quietly.

Ganondorf nodded and waved his hand dismissively. "Someone get him some clean clothes and take him to his quarters."

Ganondorf's mother, Galanda, stood by her son's side and gave a frown of disapproval. "His quarters?" she questioned. "You'd allow him such a luxury? You should give him a stall in the stable."

"As I said, he is now a Gerudo, so he will be treated as such." Ganondorf said impatiently. "Give him one of the rooms on the fifth floor."

Galanda crossed her arms, she being the only Gerudo who ever dared question him. "And may I ask why you're allowing an outsider to join us?"

Ganondorf slouched in his throne and gave her a dirty look. "I can do what I want." he snapped. "He works for me now so I don't know what else you want to know."

Galanda gave her son a patient look then asked. "Why bring a man here? You've never brought your minions to the city before. Why now?"

Ganondorf ran a hand through his hair, not looking impressed at all. "If you must know, mother, I believe him to be more valuable than my usual minions. I don't want him to die while he's still useful to me."

Galanda raised an eyebrow skeptically but said nothing more on the subject. "Very well. I'll put him in the room in the far corner of the castle."

Ganondorf nodded, his attention already back on his wine and waved her away. Galanda narrowed her eyes at The Postman but motioned for him to follow as she turned away.

The Postman followed behind her silently, the grey stone walls of the castle seeming very cold and repressive, and let out a resigned sigh. His expression was completely downtrodden and Galanda was quick to notice.

"What has you so troubled, postman?" she asked. "Are you upset my son's plans didn't go as expected?"

The Postman shook his head. "No, miss."

"Then what is it?" she demanded.

"I apologize, miss, my day simply didn't go as planned."

Galanda stared at The Postman's blood-soaked clothes then gave a nod. "I can see that... Is that your blood or someone else's?"

"It's mine." The Postman responded morosely. "I was stabbed."

"Hmm, you lost a lot of blood yet you don't seem injured. Did a fairy heal you?"

The Postman ran his fingertips along the rough wall distractedly then answered. "Mr. Ganondorf gave me some Great Fairy Tears; I would have died otherwise."

"He saved your life?" Galanda demanded. "My Ganondorf? Why would he do that? What's so special about you?"

The Postman gave a shrug. "Nothing, miss. There's nothing special about me. I'm not sure why he saved me."

Galanda gave him a scrutinizing look. "You're just a postman?"

"Yes, miss,...or at least I was..." The Postman answered, looking even more miserable.

Galanda let out a disdainful snort but didn't press the issue. As they walked up the stairs, The Postman took a shaky breath, causing Galanda to frown at him.

"You will adjust." she said in way of reassurance. "Life can be good here."

"Yes, miss." The Postman said quietly.

As they went up stair after stair, Galanda gave him a somewhat curious look. "So, if you're no longer our postman, who is?"

"I don't know." The Postman answered honestly. "Someone else will have to take over my route. My brother, Jaru will probably take it over; I don't believe he has a route of his own yet."

"Is he a good postman?" Galanda demanded.

The Postman gave a shrug.

"Hmm, that doesn't reassure me. I liked how reliable you were and I don't want a replacement."

"Sorry." The Postman replied with a sigh.

They walked in silence the rest of the way, The Postman lost in thought, and a few minutes later they stopped in front of a door.

"These will be your quarters." Galanda informed him impatiently. "We'll be having a feast for my son's return at dusk and every Gerudo is expected to attend. Unless you wish to disrespect him, I suggest you be there."

The Postman nodded wordlessly.

Galanda gave him one last look-over with a scowl, then turned and walked away without another word. The Postman placed a hand against the wood of the door and leaned against it, taking another shaky breath. Closing his eyes as he tried to compose himself, The Postman opened the door and entered the room.

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><p>Link slowed Epona to a walk and stared across the fields wistfully. This was where he'd first met The Postman many years ago. Back then, he'd thought The Postman was just some crazy man running around the fields who was very fond of rabbits. It wasn't until much later that he'd discovered he was actually a postman.<p>

The Postman had lived in a world all his own, nothing mattering except for his mail. He barely even seemed to remember Link unless he had a letter for him. When he'd been assigned to Clock Town several years ago, it didn't seem like he remembered their previous meeting in the field. Link had been young then and had happily followed after The Postman on his route within the town, curious and eager to help. The Postman had indulged him and even let him help with a few deliveries and pick-ups, calling him a junior postman.

Link let out a heavy sigh and stroked Epona's head, not feeling any better. The memories left him feeling guilty and rather sick to his stomach. He hadn't known The Postman well but figured the man must have had a family of some sort. Was The Postman married? Did he have children or was he single and alone? Whatever sort of family he had, Link knew he would have to be the one to break the bad news. His family or friends would notice him missing eventually and Link didn't want to put them through that. It would be better for him to confess immediately.

Link decided he'd ask around town to see if anyone knew who or where The Postman's family were. He'd write them a letter explaining-

Link paused. There was no postman to deliver the letter. More guilt settled into his stomach and Link gave his head a shake, trying hard not to dwell on it. He'd have to find a different postman to deliver it.

A thought then occurred to Link and his eyes widened. He didn't know The Postman's name! He'd killed a man in cold blood and didn't even know his name! He'd killed him like he was nothing but a Moblin and Link felt horrified at what he'd done. How could he track down The Postman's family if he didn't even have a name to go by?

Link felt uneasy at that thought and turned Epona back towards town. He'd ask around town to see what he could find out. Someone had to know The Postman's name...right?

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><p><strong>Reviews make the author happy!<strong>


	2. Adjustments

****AuthorNote:****

******Hey everyone, here's chapter 2! Just a reminder, if you try to pinpoint the timeline it will give you a headache, so it's probably best if you don't! lol Please read and review and let me know what you think!**

****(I have revised this second chapter and will slowly begin to revise the other chapters as well. I will always state in the Author Note whether the chapter has yet been revised)****

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

Adjustments

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><p>The Postman soaked for hours in a cold bath, staring blankly at the ceiling as he thought. Nothing quite seemed real yet and he was having trouble coming to terms with what had happened. His entire life was being a postman and without that, what was he? He had no purpose and everything he loved had been ripped away from him.<p>

Closing his eyes, The Postman allowed himself to sink beneath the water, the coldness feeling good. He opened his eyes and stared through the water at the ceiling, his vision distorted and shaky. He wished none of it had happened. If he hadn't refused to give up the letter, Link wouldn't have stabbed him and he wouldn't have become an enemy of Hyrule. Surfacing for air, The Postman blinked the water out of his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

Placing a hand over the wound on his stomach, The Postman slowly sat up with a wince. He was still horribly sore and carefully got to his feet, trying not to rip open the wound. Grimacing at the pain as he stepped out of the bath, he took a deep breath then reached for a towel. Wrapping it around himself, he left the bathroom, his mind still on The Hero of Time.

The moment he entered his bedroom, he froze at the sight of a Gerudo in his room. She was leaning against the doorway, watching him through narrowed eyes and he self-consciously wrapped the towel even tighter around himself. The Gerudo's short red hair stuck up wildly in several directions and she had several decorative earrings which marked her as an honoured warrior. She pushed herself away from the wall and slowly approached him, disdain written clearly across her face. Once in front of him, she looked him up and down, obviously not impressed with what she saw and gave him a sneer. The Postman simply watched her uncertainly, the Gerudo radiating malice. Without warning, she lashed out at him, shoving him hard against the wall and pinned her arm to his neck.

His eyes wide, The Postman didn't dare move as she drew a dagger. Her golden eyes were narrowed to slits as she raised the dagger placing the blade to his cheek. At the fear she saw in his eyes, she gave him a smirk.

"I don't know how you came to be favoured by Lord Ganondorf, but you will never be one of us. You're unwelcome here and I suggest you stay out of sight or one my sisters might see to castrate you in your sleep."

The Postman gave a slight wheeze, barely able to breathe and the Gerudo gave him one last sneer before releasing him.

"I've been sent to show you to the dining hall." she informed him, irritably. "The feast is beginning."

The Postman didn't move, looking much like a cornered mouse and again tightened the towel. The Gerudo let out a snort as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't flatter yourself." she stated, turning away. "I'm not interested in men; you're far too pathetic for my tastes."

When he still didn't move, the Gerudo let out an irritated sigh. "Get yourself dressed." she ordered. "We have to leave."

Eyeing the Gerudo warily, The Postman edged over to the wardrobe and pulled it open. There was a surprising amount of clothes shoved inside of all different sizes and colours. As he dug through the wardrobe, it quickly became apparent there was nothing gender neutral, every outfit extremely feminine.

Pulling out several pairs of low-cut puffy pants, he looked them over with a frown. The colours were also very feminine and he had the choice of pink or several pastel colours. Most of the tops were very small tube tops and The Postman assumed he wouldn't look very flattering in any of the clothing. Digging back inside the wardrobe, he came across black pants with a shirt to go with it. The shirt was still too short for his liking but at least it wasn't a tube top.

The Gerudo glared over her shoulder at him. "Hurry up!" she ordered impatiently. "The feast is going to start!"

"Sorry." The Postman apologized. "I'll just be a moment."

The Gerudo gave another roll of the eyes and turned away. "If you're not dressed within the next minute, you're going to the feast in the towel." She warned.

The Postman hurriedly slipped on the black clothes and then stared at himself in the mirror with a grimace. The shirt was a belly top and he gave it a tug, trying to pull it down to no avail. Glancing back towards the bathroom, he wondered whether he could just put on his old clothes despite the fact they were bloodstained.

The Gerudo let out an irritated sigh. "Aren't you done yet?" she demanded.

"Yes, miss, I'm done." The Postman replied, still tugging at his shirt.

When the Gerudo turned around, she stifled a snort of laughter. She was vaguely surprised The Postman was slender enough to fit into Gerudo clothing but it didn't stop him from looking any less ridiculous. The Gerudo simply shook her head in amusement, not saying a word.

"Uh…miss? Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but I don't suppose someone might have a longer shirt?" the Postman asked hopefully. "I couldn't seem to find one…"

"Why? Something wrong with the clothes you were given?" the Gerudo snapped. "Ungrateful male!"

The Postman bit his lower lip unsure of how to explain himself without offending her. "No, miss, I'm very grateful." He assured her. "It's just that this shirt leaves my midriff bare…"

"So? Your other shirt showed your belly as well." The Gerudo pointed out.

The Postman gave a frown. "Yes, but not this much…"

The Gerudo gave a dismissive shrug. "Live with it, that's what you have. Now come on or we're going to be late."

The Postman stopped pulling at his shirt with a sigh and the Gerudo's eyes immediately fell on his wound. Approaching, she stared at it in curiosity, then glanced up at him.

"I thought Galanda said you were healed?" she asked in confusion, poking quite hard at the wound. "Does it still hurt?"

The Postman let out a yelp and quickly backed away from her. "It does if you poke at it!" he protested.

"Hmm," the Gerudo said thoughtfully. "I think Galanda had better take a look at that; it looks like it's about to rip open. It could still be bleeding on the inside."

"I'm fine, miss."

The Gerudo gave him an irritated look. "Stupid man." She muttered. "Now get your ass moving before all the good food is gone!"

The Postman followed after her silently, wishing he could just stay in his room. He was tired and sore and didn't feel like being around a lot of people but knew he had no choice in the matter.

They could hear the feast long before they arrived at the dining hall, hundreds of voices carrying up the halls. When they entered the room, several Gerudos outright laughed at the sight of The Postman while others pointed and whispered. The Postman felt his cheeks redden and he didn't say a word as he followed after the Gerudo. She took a seat at the main table then gave him a frown.

"Only Gerudo warriors can sit here. You have to sit at the small table."

The Postman's eyes turned to the small table and he quickly saw it was the children's table as forty or so small Gerudo girls were seated around it. Still not saying a word, The Postman took a seat in the much too small chair and sighed heavily. Staring down at his plate silently, he noticed all of the children were whispering. The very small girl beside him frowned up at him and gave him a hesitant poke.

"You look funny." She commented. "Why is your hair brown? Is it dirty?"

The Postman glanced down at her. "No, this is just how it is." He responded.

The little girl's eyes widened and she leaned even closer to him. "Your eyes are brown too!" she exclaimed. "That's so weird!"

The Postman knew he was probably the first outsider the children had ever seen and wasn't offended by the curiosity. As they whispered and stared at him, he turned his attention to the strange looking food on the table.

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><p>Link sat down on the edge of the town fountain and let out a heavy, disheartened sigh. He had asked literately everyone in town but no one seemed to know much about The Postman. They only had nice things to say about him but none knew his name or where he had come from. Link was amazed that The Postman could live in Hyrule Town for over ten years and yet know absolutely no one!<p>

Feeling rather discouraged, Link ran his fingers through the water, not sure what he should do. He wanted to make this right but everything seemed to be working against him. Should he travel to Termina and ask around Clock Town next?

A small sandy-haired boy, who was five at the most, had been watching him for quite a while and approached, plunking himself down next to Link. Link glanced over at him, recognizing the boy as one of the townspeople.

"I heard you asking mama about The Postman." He said, holding his Keaton doll close. "I bet the grumpy postman knows him."

"Who?" Link questioned.

"The grumpy postman!" the boy repeated with a roll of his eyes. "He delivered our mail while The Postman was away. He did a really bad job so he was fired when our postman came home. He was real mad about it and yelled for hours and hours in town square. Papa got angry at him when he wouldn't be quiet and hit him with a shoe."

"A shoe?"

The boy nodded. "Papa threw it out the window at him."

Link frowned, not remembering a replacement postman. "Is he still in town?" he asked hopefully.

The boy shook his head. "Nuh uh. After papa hit him with the shoe, he yelled that no one appreciated him and that he was going to Kakariko Village."

"Is he still there?"

"How would I know? I'm only five!"

Standing to his feet, Link thanked the boy and immediately headed out of town eagerly. Finally he had a lead to follow!

Once in the field, he mounted Epona and rode the short distance between the towns, hoping the replacement postman hadn't moved on. Dismounting, he ran up the stairs, knowing that it was almost dark and he'd have to hurry before the town closed down for the night.

Upon entering the village, Link saw Mutoh, the boss carpenter, standing in his usual place beneath a tree. Mutoh was renowned for sticking his nose into other people's business so Link knew he was the person to ask. Approaching, he waved at Mutoh in greeting.

"They're lazy bums, the lot of them!" Mutoh complained to him without so much as a hello. "We've been working on a new building for ten months now and those bums only just finished the foundation! I swear I'm going to fire them the moment I find someone better!"

Link gave a nod which seemed to satisfy Mutoh and the man gave another irritated huff. "Why can't they be more like you?" he demanded. "They're excellent at pretending to work but nothing ever gets done!"

Mutoh's face was turning purple with rage and Link was worried the old man would have a heart attack if he didn't calm down. Interrupting, he asked

"I was just wondering, has a postman come to stay in Kakariko Village recently?"

Mutoh raised an eyebrow in surprise. "You mean he really is a postman? I just assumed he was some sort of raving lunatic!"

"Is he here?"

"All he ever does is moan and complain about some other postman and how cruel the people of Hyrule are. My wife says if he keeps ranting outside after dark she's going to throw something at him."

"He's still here then?" Link asked, hopefully.

At this, Mutoh crossed his arms and scowled. "The lazy bum's been staying with us." He stated irritably. "Granny felt sorry for him and brought him inside. He's been helping my daughter with her chores."

"Where can I find him?" Link asked.

"He's over at the cucco coop with my daughter."

"Ok, thanks." Link said, immediately turning to run towards the cucco coop.

When he reached the coop and saw Anju, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Anju had lost her fiancé several years ago to a curse and Link felt horrible every time he saw her. Her fiancé, Kafei, had been cursed by the Skull Kid and turned into a small child. Despite Link's best efforts, the curse wasn't able to be broken. Anju and Kafei had loved each other entirely but knew they could no longer be together. They had eventually parted ways with a lot of heartache and Anju moved back into Kakariko Village.

Link was quite surprised at the sight that met him at the cucco coop. Anju was speaking to a young, brown-haired man who was holding a cucco, and they were both laughing. The man gave her a mischievous smile as he whispered something in her ear and Anju put a hand to her mouth to stifle her giggles. The man grinned back as Link approached, neither noticing him yet.

Anju hesitantly reached out and took the man's hand, giving him a shy smile from beneath auburn bangs. The man seemed surprised by her action but gave her a gentle smile in return. Link now knew why Mutoh had allowed the strange young man stay with them; it was for his daughter's benefit. Link couldn't remember the last time he saw Anju smile and was glad for her.

Standing just behind them, Link cleared his throat.

Instantly they jumped away from one another, their eyes wide and afraid. When they saw it was Link however, they both visibly relaxed.

"Hi, Link." Anju greeted with a small laugh. "We thought you were my father."

"Hi, Anju," Link said politely. "Sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with your boyfriend for a moment."

Both Anju and the man's cheeks turned bright red and they quickly averted their eyes from one another.

"Oh…um…she isn't really my…ah…not yet…" the man stumbled out, obviously embarrassed.

Link didn't say anything more on the subject, respecting their privacy, and looked the man up and down. He was wearing traditional Kakariko clothing and there was no outward sign he was a postman. He was largely built with a dark tan and seemed more like someone used to physical labour than a postal worker. He looked the complete opposite of The Postman and he hoped he had the right person.

"Are you the postman who replaced Hyrule's usual postman a while back?" Link asked.

"Oh, no." Anju groaned as the man instantly bristled.

"You mean the one who replaced that double-crossing, back-stabbing crazy man?" he demanded.

"Er…" Link said, not sure how to respond to that.

"Yeah, I replaced him to help out, not that he appreciated it!" the man snapped. "He's completely obsessive and deranged!"

Link gave a nod. "I've been looking for you. I need to ask y-"

"You do a favour for someone and they throw you to the curb without a second thought! I did an amazing job delivering the mail! I may have missed or damaged a few letters but overall, I'd say I did fine!"

"I just need to ask-"

Link was immediately interrupted again.

"That was the last time I help that ungrateful wretch! When the townspeople saw my humiliation of being fired, they threw things at me and ordered me out of town! People are horrible, the whole town's horrible and I'm never stepping foot there again!"

Link exchanged a look with Anju who let out a sigh, looking resigned. She'd obviously heard this speech many times before and had grown used to it. Link nodded awkwardly as the man continued ranting, wishing he'd just calm down so he could ask him a few questions. When there seemed to be no end to the yelling, Link decided to intervene.

"Do you know if the Hyrule postman has a family?" Link shouted over the ranting.

The man gave a grimace. "Of course he has a family! He doesn't deserve any of them mind you, as he's a stupid fu-"

"Do you know where I can find his family?" Link cut in quickly.

"Termina." The man grunted. "Why do you want to know? No one likes him. He's the most arrogant, cold-hearted thing to have ever crawled out of the swamp! Who'd want to know more about him? I'm half tempted to drag him into town square and-"

"Haru, that's enough." Anju said softly, placing a hand gently on his arm.

Not listening, Haru continued his tantrum, getting redder and redder in the face. Deciding to just come out with it, Link interrupted once more.

"He's dead." Link said, bluntly.

The man, Haru, froze mid-rant, his mouth hanging open in the process of forming a profanity. He stared at Link blankly, not comprehending what he'd just been told. Slowly he closed his mouth and frowned at Link in disbelief.

"Dead?" he repeated.

Link gave a nod.

"He's dead?" Haru demanded. "What do you mean he's dead?"

Link averted his gaze. "He was killed early this morning. I wanted to send his family the news before they heard it from somewhere else."

Haru scowled at him and narrowed his eyes. "This is a joke."

Link gave his head a shake.

Haru took a very deep breath and closed his eyes. "He's really dead? This isn't some sort of prank?"

Link, once again, shook his head. "It's not a prank." He said gently. "He really is dead, I'm sorry. Did you know him well?"

Haru was silent for a minute or two, still not opening his eyes. "He was my brother." He said after a time. "My eldest brother."

Link winced, realizing how insensitive he must have come across. He hadn't realized the two postmen were related.

"I'm really sorry for your loss." Link said, sincerely. "He was a good man."

Haru took a slow, careful breath then spoke in such a quiet voice, Link almost didn't hear him. "How? How did he die?"

Link looked away, fresh waves of guilt surfacing and he hesitated. "It was an accident…" he began. "He was in the wrong place at the wrong time and Ganondorf used him without his knowledge. He gave him something very important to deliver and I thought he was working for Ganondorf because of everything that had happened. We had an altercation in Ganondorf's castle, a violent one, and I… and I killed him."

Link hung his head in shame, feeling like an absolute monster and a heavy silence hung in the air.

"You killed him?" Haru asked, his voice strangely flat and emotionless.

"I'm really sorry!" Link insisted. "It was a horrible accident and it was all my fault! He did nothing wrong and it should never have happened. I'm sorry."

"He's dead. He's really dead.' Haru said, his voice still devoid of any emotion.

"I'm sorry." Link repeated.

Although Haru said nothing, tears could be seen brimming in his eyes and Link felt his guilt rise even more.

"Please forgive me and give my apologies to your mother." Link requested uneasily. "Please tell her that I'm terribly sorry and that I'll never be able to forgive myself for what I've done. He was an innocent-"

Link cut off mid-sentence as Haru lunged at him and knocked him hard to the ground. Haru let out an animalistic snarl, his fists swinging wildly at the hero, and Link instinctively raised his hands to protect his face. Haru was completely enraged and punched and clawed at him, screaming and crying at the same time uncontrollably.

Link winced as he felt nails dig into his neck and tried to shove Haru away from him. Having none of it, Haru swung, kicked and clawed at him, completely blind with rage. He screamed like a mad man, bellowing profanity as loud as he could, determined to kill Link.

Anju grabbed Haru around the middle and hauled him away from Link, Haru screaming as he fought to get away from her.

"Haru, no!" Anju yelled, tears making their way down his cheeks. "This isn't the way, Haru! Stop!"

"He killed him! He killed him!" Haru yelled out with a wail. "He killed my brother!"

'Please, Haru!" Anju cried, struggling to hold him. "Please stop!"

"He's a murderer! He killed him!"

Link sat where he'd been knocked to the ground and watched Haru fight tooth and nail to get back at him. Link knew he deserved everything he got and gave Haru a miserable look.

"My brother was a good man!" Haru screamed. 'He didn't deserve that! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

Fighting to hold him back, Anju turned angry eyes to Link. "I think it would be best if you left." She informed him. "Haru will tell the rest of his family, so you won't have to face them. Now, please leave, Link!"

Link looked away from them as he slowly got back to his feet. He turned away and left without a word as Anju wrapped her arms around Haru in comfort.

"Come on, Haru, let's get you inside. Granny will take care of you. Come on."

Not looking back, Link took a deep breath and left the village silently, feeling ashamed.

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><p>The Postman curled up on his bed feeling hungry and homesick. He'd tried just one bite of the food at the feast and had immediately begun coughing and gagging from the spice. The only spices used in the mainlands were salt and pepper so he wasn't used to it. All the food at the feast had smelled strongly of spices and The Postman knew he couldn't stomach any of it. The one bite of curry he'd tried seemed to burn inside his stomach and he didn't dare try any more.<p>

When he'd gagged and retched at the curry, the children around him had laughed, watching him in obvious interest. Ganondorf, who sat at the head of the other table, flashed him an amused look, knowing exactly what the problem was and The postman felt his face redden. Quickly excusing himself from the table, he left the dining hall and hid himself in his room.

Now that the initial shock of everything had worn off, The postman now felt the smothering heat. The desert air was roasting hot and made everything smell sweet and heavy and as The Postman layed curled up on the bed, he felt like he was sticking to it.

He'd been gone less than a day and already he yearned for his old life back. He was now an enemy to The Hero of Time and by extension that made him an enemy of all lands. Knowing he could never safely return, he wondered if anyone had noticed him gone yet. Had Link already announced to everyone that he was a villain and to be outcaste? Did his family know? Were they ashamed of him?

Sighing, he closed his eyes, hoping he'd adjust to his new life. He wasn't sure what use he could be to Ganondorf but at least he was offered a home here. Being a postman had always been his entire life and he had never bothered to learn any other life skills. Ganondorf had never actually said what he wanted him for but The Postman assumed it was to be a personal messenger of some sort. At least that's what he hoped as he didn't especially relish the idea of being thrown as bait to some horrible monster. If he was a messenger then at least that would give him a little bit of normalcy in his life.

A sharp knock came at the door and was opened before he even had the time to say anything. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Galanda in the doorway holding a plate in one hand and a bottle in the other. She gave him an appraising look as he rolled over to face her and she held out the plate to him.

"You won't be any good to us if you starve." She stated. "Eat something."

The Postman grimaced at the thought of eating any more of the spiced food.

Galanda rolled her eyes at his expression. "Relax, postman, it's just some bread, fruit and cheese, none of which is spiced."

The Postman slowly reached out and took the plate, unsure of why she was showing him any kindness. The Gerudos made it clear he wasn't welcome so he was undecided whether to trust it or not.

"After our food nearly killed you in the dining hall, I thought it best if you avoided our spices." She informed him. "I suggest in the coming days, you take the spices slowly until you grow accustomed to them."

"Oh," The postman said, thinking of the display he'd made during the feast. "You saw that, did you?"

"It was kind of hard to ignore the choking." Galanda replied, a hint of amusement in her voice.

As she took a few steps closer to the edge of the bed, The Postman set the plate on the nearby side-table. Galanda looked him up and down a second time with a frown.

"Tofa informed me that you're still injured. Although I don't yet see a purpose in you, I'll trust my son and not allow you to die. Show me your injury, postman."

"I'm fine, miss."

"Show it to me."

"I'm fine, really, miss. I'm just a bit sore."

Galanda narrowed her eyes. 'Did I give the impression this is optional?" she demanded.

"Er…"

"Now." she ordered.

Pulling the sheets away from himself, The Postman showed her the large wound running across his stomach. It was scabbed over and red to the look and Galanda knew it hadn't healed correctly. Frowning, Galanda shoved him down flat on the bed so she could inspect it more closely. She ran her fingers across it lightly and The Postman flinched, just that small amount of pressure hurting.

"I don't understand. The fairy tears should have healed you completely; there shouldn't even be a scar." Galanda stated thoughtfully. 'How much did you drink?"

The Postman honestly wasn't sure and gave a shrug. "Just whatever was left over from Mr. Ganondorf." He answered.

Galanda let out an exasperated sigh then held out the bottle. Inside, a small pink fairy shone brightly.

"I don't know if you're worth a fairy but my son sees potential in you, so you must have a purpose no matter how unapparent it is."

Pulling the cork from the bottle, the fairy flew out and immediately began to swirl around Galanda and the Gerudo let out a snarl.

"Not me, you stupid fairy, him!"

The fairy paused a moment then obediently flew to The postman and swirled around him. As the magic took effect, Galanda stared at the wound with a troubled look. The wound sealed off completely but it left a horrible looking scar behind. The Postman let out a sigh of relief as the pain instantly vanished and looked down at the fairy's progress. When it was done, it disappeared in a flurry of sparkles and Galanda gave the scar a hard poke.

"Does that hurt?" she demanded.

The Postman shook his head.

Placing both thumbs over the scar, Galanda pressed down hard but The Postman wasn't bothered by it.

"Hmm, strange…" Galanda observed. "You seem to be healed but it left a scar behind. Fairies must not be able to completely heal older wounds."

"That's fine, miss, I don't mind having a scar." The postman said politely. "Thank you."

Galanda gave him a shrug of indifference then said. "You should be proud of it. A scar is an honour in our culture; it's the mark of a warrior. We Gerudos are strong women so don't expect this kindness again. You're expected to take care of yourself without the need of help from others. We won't cater to you, so will take care of yourself in all regards."

The Postman gave her a grateful nod. "Thank you, miss Galanda. You've been very kind and I appreciate it."

The Gerudo simply gave a snort at his politeness then turned to leave. "You'd better not disappoint us, postman."

Without another word, Galanda corked the empty bottle and left the room without another word. The Postman stared after her a moment and hoped tomorrow would be easier. Reaching out, he pulled over the plate of food.

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><p><strong>Reviews make the author happy<strong>


	3. The Postman's job

**AuthorNote: **

Hello everyone! Here's the newest chapter and I got this out a lot faster than I thought I would! Still a long ways to go before it's done so stay tuned and don't forget to read and review!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

The Postman's job

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><p>The Postman woke up the next morning at five as usual and sat up with a yawn. He paused however, remembering the events from the previous day, and visibly slumped. He didn't have anything to get up for as he was no longer a postman. He didn't have a schedule to keep and he might never again. It was depressing and he didn't feel like thinking about it this early in the morning. Flopping back down, The Postman then did something he hadn't done in over twenty years, he rolled over and went back to sleep.<p>

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Ganondorf frowned as he flipped through another map. He needed to come up with another plan of action but so far he'd drawn a blank. As he was now, he didn't have enough power to fight the hero of time again. He'd have to find another source of power he could manipulate but he couldn't seem to find anything sufficient. He'd marked the maps with different items of interest during his travels but they were mostly small-time magical items, nothing he could really use. He needed to find maps of new areas, detailed maps that would show him where to look.

"Guards!" Ganondorf bellowed, throwing the maps to his desk. "Guards!"

Only a moment later, two Gerudo women entered the room and approached him.

"Yes, my lord?" one questioned with a bow.

"Fetch me my postman." he ordered.

"Right away, sire." the other Gerudo said as they backed out of the room.

Once they were gone, Ganondorf again flipped through the maps but still found nothing he could use. Scowling, he mentally went through the list of magical items he already possessed but he doubted any of them would help him in his quest to take over Hyrule. When the guards returned a few minutes later with The Postman clasped firmly by the shoulder, he waved them out so he was alone with The Postman. Ganondorf then frowned down him.

"What in the world are you wearing?" he demanded.

"...well, I didn't have much to choose from in my room..." The Postman explained, trying to self-consciously pull his shirt down.

Ganondorf looked him up and down with a slight wince then said. "Tell the guards to find you something suitable. You look like you're from a harem."

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."

"How far have you travelled in your lifetime, postman?"

"I've been almost everywhere on the continent, sir."

Ganondorf gave a nod. "That's what I thought. Have you made any maps during your travels?"

The Postman shook his head. "No, Mr. Ganondorf, I've never had a need for them."

"Hmm, I see. Could you draw maps from your memory if you needed to?"

Again The Postman shook his head. "Sorry, Mr. Ganondorf I've never been much of an artist."

"Have you met any map-makers?"

"Yes, sir. I've met plenty."

Ganondorf leaned back in his chair as he pondered a moment. "If I told you to find me the best map-maker there is, could you do it?"

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman replied.

"Good, you're going to start earning your keep. I want you to find the best map-maker there is and bring him to me. Time is of the essence so you're to take one of my horses."

The Postman hesitated. "I don't know how to ride a horse, sir, I'd much rather travel by foot..."

"Tough," Ganondorf snapped. "Learn."

Frowning at the thought of riding a horse, The Postman gave Ganondorf a nod.

"Alright, now get out of my sight and don't come back until you have the map-maker." Ganondorf ordered as The Postman turned to leave. "And find some men's clothes!"

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The Gerudos were able to find The Postman men's clothes, telling him they were from when Ganondorf was a teenager. Apparently their king had gone through an awkward gangly stage when he was a young teenager and hadn't gained his height and bulk until he was in his early twenties.

Feeling much more comfortable now that he wasn't dressed like a Gerudo woman, The Postman was led across the town to the stables.

"I was told to give you our fastest horse." The Gerudo told him as they entered the stables. "Your mission must be awfully important for the master to trust you with his horse."

The Postman stared at the horse in front of him and was met with the sight of an enormous red-eyed monster. The horse snorted at them and stamped it hooves, looking much like it wanted to stomp them into the ground. Very hesitantly reaching out to pet the huge black horse, The Postman was quick to retract his hand as it snapped at him. Staring at the horse with wide eyes, he backed up a pace as the Gerudo rolled her eyes.

"Wimpy man." she stated, unlocking the stall. "You have to show him who's in control."

As The Postman stared at the horse, who was stomping and snorting angrily, he consented to allow the horse to be in charge. There was no way he was going to try and challenge that! The second the stall was open, the horse stormed out and bucked at the Gerudo who barely got out of the way in time.

"He can be a bit grouchy..." she stated as the horse began approaching The Postman with narrowed eyes.

The horse cornered him against the stall and towered over him menacingly, its red eyes boring into his own. The horse began sniffing him suspiciously nudging him quite hard with its nose and then seemed confused. Realizing the horse could probably smell its master on the clothes, The Postman again hesitantly reached out towards it.

"Nice horsey..." he said nervously, setting his hand on its mussel. "Please don't kill me..."

The horse allowed him to pet its nose but still seemed suspicious. It gave a loud snort and slowly backed away to allow The Postman to move. The Gerudo, approached it with a saddle and it never looked away from The Postman once as the Gerudo put a saddle and harness on it.

"Okay, go ahead." The Gerudo said. "He's all ready to go."

The Postman gave a gulp and slowly edged around the horse, eyeing it warily. The Gerudo crossed her arms in annoyance and began tapping a foot impatiently.

"Hurry up." she ordered. "The king said you're to leave right away. Now get on the horse."

The horse was enormous and The Postman couldn't even see over it and he wasn't sure how to mount it. He'd never ridden a horse before and also had no interest in trying. Giving a helpless look to the Gerudo, the woman sighed.

"Grab a hold of the saddle and put your foot in the stirrup. Pull yourself up and swing your other leg over the horse."

The moment he touched the saddle, the horse stiffened and turned its head to look at him. Trying to be as careful as possible, The Postman hoisted himself up awkwardly, only flailing slightly as he got himself into place. Feeling quite proud of himself, The Postman reached forward to pet the horses head. Two seconds later it bucked him off.

The Gerudo let out a heavy sigh and placed her hands on her hips. "Well, you were mounted for almost ten seconds, better than I expected...You're so light he probably doesn't respect you as a rider."

The Postman groaned from where he'd landed and slowly rolled back to his feet. "Can't I just go by foot?" he complained.

"No."

Resigned, The Postman again approached the horse and mounted. As it started to buck, he threw his arms around the horses neck and held on for dear life, eyes closed. The horse bucked and jumped but The Postman held on and after a time the horse finally stopped, having given up. The Postman looked up and the Gerudo gave him a nod of approval.

"Good, now take this mask."

"Mask, miss?"

"It'll hide your identity while in the mainlands." she explained as if speaking to a slow-witted child. "Keep the mask on and don't talk to anybody you don't have to."

"Yes, miss."

The Postman accepted the mask and slipped it over his head as the Gerudo watched.

"There." she said. "With those clothes and that mask, no one should recognize you."

The Postman didn't at all feel like himself and tugged at the mask in discomfort.

"You'll need this just in case." The Gerudo told him, handing over her own sword. "You never know who you might meet in the mainlands."

The Postman adamantly shook his head. "No thank you, miss. I would never hurt anyone."

"You'd be surprised what you'd do when your life is on the line." she said. "Take the sword. Even if you don't think you'll use it, take it just in case."

The Postman frowned, not wanting to take it. He'd never held a real weapon before and wouldn't have a clue how to use it even if he was attacked. The Gerudo thrust it into his arms and he stared at it with a grimace.

"You're not to fail the king," The Gerudo said. "Do whatever you must to get the job done. You're part of our clan by limited invitation so don't disappoint us."

The Postman stared at her a long moment then attached the sword to his belt. This was his job now and where his loyalties had to lie. Even if he didn't agree with what Ganondorf was doing, he had no choice in the matter. The man had saved his life and hid him from the lands that were now hostile towards him, so he owed the Gerudo king.

"Get going." the Gerudo ordered. "Be as fast as possible."

The Postman looked down at the horse, not sure how to make it go.

"Giddy-up?" he said hesitantly.

The horse didn't move and the Gerudo rolled her eyes. "Give the horse a light kick with your heals; he'll take care of he rest. If you want to slow him down, lean back in the saddle and give a few short tugs to the reins without pressing against him with your knees. If you want to speed up, give the reins a short snap and kick lightly while leaning forward."

"Uh...okay."

"Do you understand?" The Gerudo demanded skeptically.

"I think so, miss."

"Then get going!"

The Postman gave a very soft, awkward kick to the horses flanks not wanting to hurt it and the reaction was immediate. The horse bolted out of the stable at breakneck speed and The Postman let out a yell of fright. The Gerudo watched him ride away then shook her head with a sigh. At least if he killed himself the horse would know to return home.

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Link hadn't slept well that night and found himself tossing and turning, unable to settle down. Finally, in the early hours of the morning, he gave up and got up, knowing it was pointless trying to sleep.

When he'd returned to the castle the previous night, the celebrations were still in effect and despite his protests, he was made to attend. Everyone kept congratulating him and telling him that he'd done an excellent job and it made him feel ill. He'd given everyone a fake smile and nodded along with conversations but in reality he'd wanted to be alone. It wasn't until well after mid-night that he was able to make his escape. Locking himself inside the guest room he was given, he'd attempted sleep to no avail.

Link walked the halls of the castle, tired and troubled. He thought letting The Postman's family know of his death would help with his conscious but it really didn't. After seeing The Postman's brother react with such grief and pain, it just made him feel even more guilty. Entering Zelda's garden he wasn't surprised to see it empty. It was early yet and he didn't imagine the castle coming to life for another hour or two.

Taking a seat on the stairs, he stared at nothing in particular as he thought. He leaned against the wall and gave a heavy sigh. He wasn't sure he'd ever to be able to make this right. Wondering if he should leave Hyrule for a while to distract himself, his eyes settled on a bed of flowers a few feet away from him. Perhaps a bit of time away from all of this would be good for him. He could find a little town or village that needed to be saved and start a new quest.

His decision made, Link stood to his feet, intent on slipping out of the castle before anyone noticed. He'd be halfway out of Hyrule before they even noticed he was gone. Zelda would understand; she would know that he needed the time away even if she would still be angry at him.

Link made it back to his room without seeing anyone and quickly packed his bag. As he then made a hasty exit out of the castle, he didn't notice Zelda watching from a window, a troubled expression on her face.

"Oh, Link." she whispered. "I do hope you'll be alright."

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The horse galloped through Gerudo valley like a bat out of hell and The Postman couldn't believe how fast it was. He held onto the reins with a death grip as he passed by several confused Gerudos, hoping the horse wouldn't throw him at this speed. Wondering where Ganondorf would even get such a horse, he doubted it was from Lon Lon ranch as this horse seemed a much wilder breed.

The horse crossed the bridge in just one stride and The Postman began to relax as the horse seemed to know what it was doing. Once outside of the canyon, he gave a gentle tug to the left with the reins and the horse obediently turned to the left, never once slowing down. The horse crossed Hyrule field as smoothly as water and despite himself, The Postman found it exhilarating.

As he passed Hyrule castle town, The Postman saw another figure on horseback and squinted to see who it was. As he got closer, he clearly saw the blond hair of The Hero of Time and felt panic and fear fill him. His heartbeat speeding up, he urged the horse to go faster. As the two horses passed one another, Link and The Postman briefly met each others eyes, the hero giving him a questioning look. The Postman quickly ducked his head.

Once he were a good distance away, The Postman glanced over his shoulder releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. The hero wasn't following him.


	4. The Chase

**AuthorNote:** Here's chapter four of the story! Still a long ways to go before it's finished but it's slowly getting there! Please read and review as I love to hear what all my readers have to say!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

The Chase

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><p>Link slowed Epona to a walk and glanced behind himself in the direction the black horse had gone. What was a Gerudo doing in the mainlands? She'd been dressed for a battle and he doubted she was up to any good. With Ganondorf dead, what could the Gerudos be planning? Frowning, Link turned Epona around. He had an uneasy feeling about this and wouldn't be able to leave Hyrule until he was sure it was nothing. Giving a light kick to Epona, he began trailing after the black horse.<p>

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The Postman slowly found himself relaxing the further he got from Castle Town and stared ahead as the horse sped across the fields. He hadn't really given the horse much direction but it seemed like it knew where he wanted to go, so he left well enough alone. At one point the horse had jumped over a low wall and The Postman had clung to the horse's neck, sure he was going to be thrown off. Despite the jump, the horse had remained steady so The Postman was able to stay in the saddle.

Although he personally still preferred to run, The Postman did have to admit this was considerably faster. The horse was faster than any other he'd ever seen and before he knew it, they were on the outskirts of Hyrule, approaching Termina. He wasn't sure what the stamina of a horse was, but it didn't even look like it'd broken a sweat. Deciding to force the horse to stop for a drink anyway just to be safe, The Postman leaned back in the saddle while giving short, sharp pulls of the reins.

The horse resisted him at first not wanting to stop but as he persisted, it finally gave in to him and slowed down. The Postman stopped the horse next to a stream and slid awkwardly down to lead it over. The horse snorted at him, still not liking him but did dip its head to the stream to drink. As the horse drank, The Postman leaned against it with a sigh, looking back towards Hyrule.

Lost in thought for a while, The Postman let the horse drink its fill then gently led it away from the water. Looking up, he froze at what he saw. Riding towards him at full speed was the hero of time! Grabbing a hold of the reins, The Postman scrambled up onto the horse just as Link reached him.

"Wait!" Link called to him."Stop!"

The Postman hesitated, his hands gripping the reins like a vice as Link stopped Epona in front of him. Link looked him up and down carefully, suspicion laced in his eyes.

"What are you up to?" he demanded.

The Postman didn't answer.

Link narrowed his eyes. "Where are you going?"

The Postman looked away but still didn't answer.

"Answer me." Link ordered.

The Postman remained stubbornly silent.

"What are you planning? Ganondorf is dead, you lost!"

The Postman's eyes shifted slightly and Link frowned.

"He's not dead?" Link questioned.

Without a word, The Postman gave a sharp kick to the horse and took off at a full gallop. Link instantly took chase, knowing the Gerudo couldn't be up to anything good. Was it possible Ganondorf survived and he was already planning something? Link urged Epona to go faster and faster, trying to catch up to the other.

The Postman's horse wasn't running as fast as before since he'd only given it a few minutes rest and hoped the hero wouldn't catch up to him. As the two horses raced across the rocky terrain, Link quickly catching up, they crossed the border to Termina. Slowly, The Postman gave a confident smile. This was his homeland, no one knew it better than he and he now had the advantage.

Jerking the reins to the right suddenly, he turned the horse towards Termina woods. Leaning forward, he gave the reins a snap and the horse bolted ahead in a burst of speed, putting a bit of distance between the other horse. Link's brow furrowed in determination and he gave Epona a kick causing her to whinny in protest, the horse too tired to speed up.

As The Postman entered the woods, he turned the horse again off the main trail, knowing every inch of his homeland. Link followed, which he was counting on, and again turned the horse. As he made turn after turn, the horse wheezed at the exertion and he gave it an encouraging pat, hoping he'd be able to stop and rest it soon.

Ducking beneath a tree-branch, The Postman broke out of the woods and the horse charged across Termina field, snorting and wheezing as it went. It jumped over the walls separating the different farms and The Postman noticed Link's horse had to run around the walls instead of jumping over. That giving him a bit of distance, he veered back into the woods and began heading to a very specific place. If Link's horse wasn't much of a jumper then perhaps that was the way he'd lose the hero?

"Just a bit more, fella." he whispered to the horse. "Just a bit further."

The horse was covered in a sheen of sweat and was getting slower and slower as they went through the twists and turns of the woods. Finally, The Postman saw what he was looking for and urged the horse on. A deep gorge that separated the two halves of the woods was wide and The Postman hoped his horse still had enough energy to make the jump. Leaning all the way forward, he snapped the reins and gave encouraging kicks the horse as it forced itself to go faster. The horse saw the gorge and headed for it without fear, its breathing hard and ragged. It reached the fence at the edge of the gorge, then with a mighty jump, it landed on the other side as if the jump had been nothing.

The Postman then stopped the horse and looked back as Link came into view. Link scowled when he saw what he'd done and made Epona run straight for the gorge. Epona's eyes widened and she skidded to a halt right at the fence, almost throwing her master right over her head. She gave a stubborn whinny, stomping her feet as she backed away. Link gave the horse a frustrated look then turned his attention to The Postman who was watching him from the other side.

"I'll find out what you're up to!" Link yelled. "Whatever it is, you won't get away with it!"

The Postman said nothing as he stared at the hero, then slowly dismounted his horse.

"If Ganondorf is alive, he won't succeed! He never succeeds! I'll get him and you can pass that message right along!"

The Postman turned away, taking the horse by the reins and walked away into the woods, without a word.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When The Postman reached Clock town, he hesitated a moment before going in, knowing it was a possibility someone might recognize him. The guard at the entrance gave him a very long, hard look but did step aside to let him in despite his Gerudo clothing. As he walked his horse to the only stable in town, he became very aware of everyone staring at him. He was used to being unnoticed and invisible so all of the attention made him feel rather uneasy.

The stablehand saw him approaching and came out to meet him, looking the horse over disapprovingly.

"You ran him too hard!" he scolded. "This horse is exhausted!"

The Postman gave the horse an apologetic pet on the nose, feeling bad he'd worked the horse too hard, and held out a few rupees. The stablehand accepted them, then looked him up and down.

"What's a Gerudo doing all the way in Termina?" he demanded.

The Postman didn't answer so the man pointed over to the inn. "Are you staying for the night?" he asked. "I need to know how long I have to rest the horse."

The Postman glanced over at the inn, then nodded. He hadn't been expecting to spend the night but there was no way he was going to chance killing Ganondorf's horse, especially when it seemed he'd accidentally let the hero know the villain was still alive. As it was, he knew Ganondorf would likely be furious at him so he had to make sure he got everything right.

"I'll take care of your horse, if you want to check in at the inn." The stablehand said, his gaze not on The Postman face. "Your horse will be fine in a few hours."

The Postman followed his line of vision and saw the man was staring directly at his chest. The stablehand gave him a lopsided grin when he realized he'd been caught and said.

"Sorry, I was just noticing that you must be quite young. You haven't quite blossomed yet! I didn't know the Gerudos trained 'em so young!"

The Postman simply stared at him, his mouth slightly agape.

The stablehand, mistaking the look for embarrassment, quickly said.

"No offense, miss! I think you have a lovely figure!"

The stablehand then reached forward and groped The Postman's chest, giving him a somewhat sleazy look.

"Don't worry, they'll come in!"

The Postman froze in shock then quickly backpedalled away, instinctively covering his chest with his arms. Feeling rather violated, he continued backing up then fled to the inn as the stablehand snorted with laughter.

Once inside, he shuddered then approached the counter. Anju no longer worked in the inn, having quit years ago, and a young blond girl was now in her place. The girl smiled at him in welcome then said.

"Good day, miss, are you looking for a room?"

The Postman frowned. Why did everyone think he was a girl? Remembering that Ganondorf was the only man in the Gerudo clan, he then understood. He gave a nod to the girl who again smiled at him.

"Very good, miss. The cost of the room is 50 rupees a night. Are you just staying for the one?"

The Postman gave another nod as he counted out the rupees from his wallet. Handing over the 50 rupees, he was given a key and the girl directed him to the stairs.

"The inn locks the doors at dark so just make sure you're inside by then, alright?"

The Postman gave one more nod as he turned and walked up the stairs to inspect his room. It was surprising what he could accomplish without speaking and so far no one had recognized him. His room was what he'd expected, very Spartan and smelling like old lady. Deciding to get some food so he could hide in his room until tomorrow, he left his room then exited the inn.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link was starting to get frustrated. He'd led Epona all the way around the gorge then searched all through the woods and fields to no avail. The Gerudo was gone. The way she had navigated throughout Termina was like she was very familiar with the land, but how was that possible? Gerudos very rarely came this far and people tended to not exactly welcome them with open arms so it was suspicious she knew so much about the area.

He knew something was up and wouldn't rest until he found out what it was. Could this be another scheme to take over Hyrule again or were they now setting their eyes on Termina? No matter their plans, Link would never let them succeed. He had a feeling the Gerudo he'd seen earlier held the key to all this and had to find her before she hid where he'd never find her.

She'd been a strange Gerudo. She was slender like all Gerudo woman but was obviously quite young as she lacked any curves, and was completely flat-chested. Her clothing was a bit different than the usual Gerudo warriors clothing; the leathers and vest seeming almost manly. They still clearly bore the marks of the Gerudo clan but he wondered why this girl was different. She hadn't gloated like he'd of expected, instead remaining in stony silence as she stared at him.

The Gerudo had the large, curved sword of one of their warriors attached to her belt but hadn't made a move to draw it on him. She'd obviously been confident enough in her knowledge of Termina to know she'd lose him and that made Link uneasy. If she was that confident in her riding, then how confident would she be in her swordplay?

Frowning, Link touched the hilt of his sword. He'd fought Gerudos before but didn't want to actually hurt her. He couldn't make another serious mistake like yesterdays, so he'd find out what she was up to before challenging her to a fight.

Deciding to check the swamps, Link turned Epona and rode off, determined.


	5. Kooloo Limpah

**AuthorNote:**

****Hey, everyone! Here's a fast update for you! The next chapter will probably be up in a couple days! Please R&R!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

Kooloo Limpah

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><p>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<p>

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><p>The Postman had gone to the small market in town square and bought himself a fairly large assortment of fresh produce for lunch. The towns people were openly curiousafraid of him and most gave him dirty looks as he passed, suspicious of his motives. He tried to ignore the attention directed at him and simply paid for his purchases then left the town square to head back to the inn. On his way back, he passed by the stables then paused a second, looking inside.

His horse was just standing in the middle of the stables, not in a stall or being tended to. Its saddle was still on and didn't even look like anyone had bothered with it. Frowning, The Postman pushed open the door and approached to check on the horse. It seemed fine as he stroked its muzzle but he wondered why it was out by itself. As he pondered this, a loud groan sounded from one of the stalls and he peered in curiously.

The stablehand was laying sprawled in the hay, moaning and holding onto his leg in agony. He looked up and saw The Postman then gave him a furious look.

"Your stupid horse broke my leg!" he yelled. "It attacked me for no reason! It's crazy!"

The Postman glanced back at the horse then again petted its head as he pulled an apple out of his purchases. The horse gladly accepted the gift and munched on it as the stablehand gave another groan of pain. Good horse.

The Postman carefully removed the horses saddle and halter and ushered it into its stall using another apple to bribe it. As he turned to leave, the stablehand looked at him in a panic.

"Wait!" he called. "You can't just leave me here! It'll be hours before anyone finds me!"

The Postman turned around, gave him a very pointed look then left the stable. As he entered the inn, he knew he wouldn't leave the stablehand there no matter how much he deserved it. He'd leave the girl at the front desk a note then he wouldn't be bothered by his conscience.

Link had checked everywhere he could think of but the Gerudo seemed to have disappeared. After leaving the swamp, feeling muddy and smelly, he rode Epona towards Clock Town feeling discouraged. He left Epona to roam the fields then entered the town with a sigh. The guard at the gate let him in without hesitation and Link headed towards the stockpot inn, exhausted and just wanting to sleep for a few hours. When he entered, the girl at the desk gave him a smile.

"Hello there! Looking to rent a room for the night?"

Link nodded.

"Oh, I'm so sorry but our last room was just filled! We've been unusually busy this week and we won't have a room until tomorrow night."

Link visibly slumped. It seemed his luck was going to be terrible all around today.

Seeing his troubled expression, the girl gave him an apologetic smile. "You could always try the ranch. They've been known to help out travellers in need."

Link let out sigh and thanked the girl. It wasn't her fault the inn was full and at least she'd been nice about the whole thing. Hoping he'd be welcome at the ranch, he turned to leave, not noticing the figure watching him from the stairs.

The Postman let out a breath of relief as the hero left the inn. Once the door was closed, he stepped out from his hiding spot into the lobby and dropped a note onto the front desk. As the girl opened it, he quickly disappeared back upstairs and locked himself in his room for the rest of the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Early the next morning, before the sun was even up, The Postman slipped out of the inn and headed for the stables. He could barely see in the darkness and he heard more than saw his horse. Opening the stall door, he held out a carrot and petted the horse as it munched happily. When it was finished, he stepped back a few feet and held out another carrot. The horse followed him out of the stall then stood, obediently still as The Postman lifted the saddle onto its back. He wasn't exactly sure how to fasten the saddle and harness properly, but after a few tries, he was sure he had it right. Then, trying to be as quiet as possible, he led the horse out of the stable.

He knew from experience how nosy the townspeople of Clock town could be and he didn't want to draw attention to himself as he left. The horse clip-clopped noisily behind him as he headed towards the north end of the town and he hoped no one would wake.

Upon entering North Clock town, he was met with the sound of heavy, guttural snoring. Looking up towards the source of the noise, he saw a familiar figure in green, floating attached to a red balloon. Approaching, he left the horse to graze for a moment, and squinted up at the peculiar man. Glancing around to make sure no one was listening, he whispered.

"Mr. Tingle! Hey! Mr. Tingle!"

The strange little man kept on snoring. Frowning, The Postman glanced over at the guard who also seemed asleep for the moment. Raising his voice slightly, he tried again.

"Mr. Tingle! Please wake up, sir! Mr. Tingle!"

Tingle's only response was a gaspy sort of snort. The Postman didn't want to yell any louder as he knew that would draw attention so he glanced around the area with a frown. Picking up a few small pebbles, he tossed one at Tingle. It bounced right off the mans forehead but he had no reaction whatsoever. Tossing another pebble then another, Tingle remained stubbornly asleep. Getting a bit frustrated, The Postman whipped the entire handful of pebbles at Tingle. Most struck Tingle across the chest but one hit the balloon hard.

The balloon instantly burst with a deafening pop and Tingle let out a scream of terror as he fell to the ground. The guard at the gate jerked awake with a start but when he saw what it was, he simply gave an annoyed look and rolled his eyes.

Once Tingle got over his surprise, he looked up at The Postman and gave him a beaming grin. "Why hello, there, miss Gerudo! Are you looking to buy one of Tingles maps? I currently have one of Clock Town and one of Woodfall!"

The Postman shook his head.

"I see...well, call again!"

He then bowed down dramatically, and flung a handful of sparkles as he straightened up. "Tingle, Tingle, Koo-loo Limpah! These are the magic words Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!"

Before Tingle could inflate the balloon, The Postman said.

"I've been asked to bring you to Gerudo valley."

Tingle paused in his repairs of the balloon. "Go to the Gerudo valley?" he repeated. "Tingle cannot go to the Gerudo valley! There are no fairies there! Tingle has to wait here until he has a fairy of his own! Although Tingle is already 45, he knows that a fairy will come to him someday!"

The Postman had heard this speech every time he'd ever delivered a letter to Tingle and sighed. "Sorry, Mr. Tingle but you must come. Those are my orders."

Tingle crossed his arms. "Tingle cannot. What if a fairy came while he was away?"

"Then she would wait for you."

Tingle didn't look convinced. "Sorry, but Tingle is very busy. He doesn't have time to go to the Gerudo valley."

The Postman knew Ganondorf would already be angry that he took so long and that Link knew something was going on and didn't want to disappoint even further. Hating himself for what he was about to do, he grabbed Tingle by the back of the tights and began dragging the man towards the horse as he screamed and struggled in protest. Once there, he pulled some rope out of the saddlebag and tied the yelling man up, despite all the yelling and thrashing about. Once he was finished, The Postman easily lifted the tiny man and threw him on the back of the horse, tying him securely to the back of the saddle like luggage.

"I'm really sorry about this, Mr. Tingle. I don't normally do this sort of thing but you really do need to come with me."

The Postman mounted the horse then approached the gate, not sure how he was going to explain this. The guard was watching him with a raised brow but didn't seem overly concerned.

"You kidnapping the fairy man?" he demanded.

The Postman hesitated then nodded.

The guard stepped aside with a shrug. "Okay, just checking."

He rode past the guard who was whistling nonchalantly ignoring the screams coming from Tingle, and The Postman quickly sped the horse up to a trot.

Once in the field, he allowed the horse to canter but didn't want to tire it out like he had yesterday. Tingle was screaming bloody murder but he tried to ignore it despite feeling horribly guilty. The noise was drawing the attention of the field monsters and slowly they began gravitating towards them.

"Shh!" The Postman said. "Keep quiet! The monsters think you're food!"

Tingle shook his head and kept right on screaming. "The fairies will save Tingle! They'll come for Tingle! Heeelp! Help! Tingle's been kidnapped!"

Several green jellies blocked the path up ahead and The Postman wasn't sure what he was going to do. He wasn't a warrior! He didn't even know how to use a sword! He'd never had to fight before! As they got closer, The Postman looked down at the sword attached to his belt. Rubbing a thumb over the hilt, he grimaced. He didn't want to hurt anyone, even if they were monsters.

As they reached the jellies, he didn't have to worry about it as the horse seemed to know exactly what to do. As it reached the jellies, it reared up and stomped on them as it passed, barely slowing down. The Postman stared at the green goo now covering the horses legs and shuddered. The horse made sure to stomp on anything in its path as they rode across the fields and The Postman closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to see it.

All of a sudden, Tingle's yelling cut off abruptly. "Look!" he called to The Postman. "The green fairy! I told you the fairies would save me!"

The Postman opened his eyes and glanced over his shoulder. Link was riding straight for them, sword drawn and expression furious. Having seen that look before, right before the hero had attacked him at Ganondorf's castle, The Postman panicked and gave the horse a kick, sending it into a full gallop.

His horse had gotten a much longer rest than Epona and easily began widening the distance between them.

"Stop!" Link yelled from behind him. "Release whoever it is you've kidnapped! I won't hurt you, just let that person go!"

Tingle gave a wide grin. "MR. FAIRY!" he bellowed out happily. "I knew you'd come for me!"

Link's expression instantly went from anger to confusion. "...Tingle?"

"Yes, Mr. Fairy, it's Tingle! Come save Tingle!"

Link frowned. Who would want to kidnap Tingle? Why was perhaps a better question. The two horses kept getting further and further apart and no matter how much Link coaxed Epona, she was just much too tired to match the speed. As the black horse disappeared over a hill in the distance, Link had to concede that he wasn't going to catch them. Slowing down his horse, he could still hear Tingle yelling for him until finally there was silence. It didn't matter if he caught them now, he knew exactly where they were going. He could rescue Tingle as well as find out what the Gerudos plans were. He only had to sneak into Gerudo Valley.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The hero hadn't been following them for quite a while so The Postman slowed down the horse as they entered Hyrule Fields. The horse seemed a bit out of breath and he really didn't want to return it in poor condition. Tingle had finally gone quiet and was sniffling quietly to himself in disappointment as they rode on.

When they passed by Hyrule Castle Town, The Postman glanced back at Tingle with a frown.

"I am sorry, Mr. Tingle." he again apologized.

Tingle let out a sigh then said. "I suppose Tingle can come with you to the Gerudo Valley; there might be fairies there..."

The Postman knew Tingle didn't really have a choice in the matter but it did make him feel a bit better that the little man had finally agreed.

"We're almost there, Mr. Tingle. Just a few more minutes."

Tingle squinted up at him as he gave another sniff. "You know," he said. "Tingle can't help but think you sound familiar. Your voice is a bit deep for a Gerudos...Does Tingle know you?"

The Postman didn't answer, instead turning his full attention to the road before him. It wouldn't do for anyone to find out he was still alive; they'd likely create a lynch-mob. As they rode along, The Postman could hear Tingle quietly saying his 'magic' words to himself over and over again. After about ten minutes of that, The Postman tuned him out completely and kept his eyes ahead of them.

When they reached the turn-off to Gerudo Valley, the horse turned without any instruction, knowing it was almost home. They crossed the bridge and passed by several Gerudos who let him pass without question. They passed by the Gerudo fortress and rode into the desert towards the Gerudo city. The Postman felt the slight shiver of cold that came over him as he passed through the barrier, but shook it off as he rode through the town towards the royal stables.

Once to the stables, he brought the horse to a stop then dismounted as the Gerudo he'd met yesterday came out to meet him. She crossed her arms as she looked him up and down then gave a nod.

"So, you're still alive." she stated, her eyes falling on the bound Tingle. "And it looks like your mission was successful."

"Yes, miss."

She harrumphed then said. "I suppose you get to live another day then."

"...yes, miss."

As The Postman untied Tingle and pulled him down off the horse, the Gerudo stared at Tingle with a look of disgust. She didn't say anything, but by her expression, her opinion was clear. Tingle made a great show of dusting himself off then looked up at The Postman impatiently.

"Well? What do you need of Tingle?"

As the Gerudo led the horse back in the stables, The Postman motioned for Tingle to follow him into the castle. As they walked along, every Gerudo stopped to stare at Tingle, their expressions a mixture of disdain and revulsion. None tried to stop them however as they entered the castle, knowing there'd have a to be a very good reason for the short, fat, creepy man to be there.

The Postman led Tingle towards the throne room in silence, the small map-maker spinning and dancing as he did so. He knocked on the throne room door and he heard a curse from inside.

"What?" came the bellow.

The Postman slowly pushed open the door and peered inside at Ganondorf who was sitting at his throne, shuffling through papers with a scowl. A fairy in a bottle sat on the arm of the throne; his mother having giving it to him the night before. He'd felt fine, so he had decidedly ignored the fairy, forgetting it was there. When he looked up and saw The Postman, his expression changed to surprise.

"You're back." he stated.

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."

"I had my doubts." he said "Did you find me a map-maker?"

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman said as he opened the door fully and ushered Tingle inside.

At the sight of Tingle, Ganondorf eyes narrowed to slits. "What is that?" he demanded, angrily.

"The best map-maker there is, Sir." The Postman replied.

Tingle looked up at Ganondorf then his face split into a huge grin of happiness and he ran forward.

"What's this?" he cried out. "Black clothes, pink fairy...Sir, could you, by chance, be a dark fairy?"

Both of Ganondorf's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Oh my!" Tingle said happily. "My name is Tingle and I think I am the same as you, sir, except I'm a forest fairy not a dark fairy!"

Ganondorf's eyes shifted over to The Postman who simply shrugged in reply.

"I know! I think we should be friends, Mr. Dark Fairy! Yes, yes and in exchange for the friendship, I will show you Tingle's magic!"

Ganondorf was slowly reaching for his sword, his expression unreadable as Tingle gave a deep bow. When Tingle straightened, he threw a whole fistful of sparkles at Ganondorf with a grin.

"Tingle, Tingle! Kooloo Limpah! These are the magic words Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!"

Ganondorf sat stock-still, his expression unamused as sparkles fell out of his hair. Then ever so slowly, he drew his sword. The Postman gave a wince at what had happened then quickly spoke up.

"You did ask for the best map-maker I knew of, Sir, and he is the best. He's travelled just as much as me, Sir."

Ganondorf hesitated, despite his natural instinct to stab the miserable fairy man into a pile of mush. He frowned deeply then shook some of the sparkles out of his hair.

"Fine." he growled. "But, he'd better be worth the trouble."

"I cannot say, Sir, but he is a map-maker."

"Fine." Ganondorf said again. "Good work, postman. You may leave us now."

Ganondorf took a small pouch off his belt and flung it towards The Postman who barely managed to catch it.

"I'll summon you when I need your services again."

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman said, backing out of the room. "You can count on me!"

Once he was gone, Ganondorf gave Tingle a narrow-eyed gaze. "Tell me about your map-making skills, little worm. You'd better impress me or the skull-fish will eat well tonight. "

Slowly Tingle's smile disappeared and he gave a gulp.


	6. Assimilation

**AuthorNote:**

Did i say the next chapter would be in two days? . I guess I meant six hours...lol Well, here's the extremely fast update of chapter 6! Please don't forget to R&R!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

**Assimilation**

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><p><strong>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<strong>

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><p>The Postman waited in his room a few hours before deciding to see if Ganondorf was done speaking with Tingle. He hadn't told him about his encounter with Link yet, wanting to wait until he was in a better mood. Deciding to test the waters, he made his way back to the throne room. When he knocked, this time Ganondorf didn't snarl at him, he simply received a casual "Enter."<p>

Pushing open the throne room door, The Postman slipped inside and approached Ganondorf who was again shuffling through papers. He glanced up at him a moment then went back to what he was doing.

"What do you want, postman?"

"There was something you should know about what happened on my mission..." The Postman started hesitantly.

"Are you going to explain why you exhausted my horse?" Ganondorf demanded. "I was told all about that."

"Er, well, it was kind of necessary, sir. I met up with Mr. Link and had to lose him..."

Ganondorf stared at him a moment. "Who?"

"The Hero of Time, sir. He saw me riding across Hyrule field yesterday and followed me. I lost him yesterday in Termina but he found me again this morning and your horse had to outrun him to get away."

Ganondorf did not look happy. "You let the Hero of Time see you? He could have ruined everything if he found out I was still alive!"

The Postman winced and slowly sucked in a breath of air through his teeth. Ganondorf narrowed his eyes at him.

"What haven't you told me?" he demanded.

"He may have...already guessed you're still alive when he saw me in the Gerudo clothing... He said he'll find out whatever you're up to and put a stop to it...one way or another."

"What?" Ganondorf yelled, standing to his feet. "He can't find out already, nothing's ready! He'll ruin everything!"

"Sorry, Mr. Ganondorf."

"Guards!" Ganondorf bellowed. "Guards, get in here!"

Instantly two Gerudo women entered the throne room and gave him a bow.

"The blasted Hero of Time might be on his way here. Get every available Gerudo to block him before he even reaches the valley! No one is to enter or leave Gerudo valley under any circumstance and I mean no one!"

"Yes, your highness."

"GO!" Ganondorf boomed. "Move it!"

The guards quickly ran from the room to do as told as Ganondorf turned his eyes to The Postman.

"Did the hero recognize you?"

"No, sir, he thought I was a woman."

Ganondorf let out a dismissive snort. "An easy enough mistake to make." he stated. "Did you say anything to him at all? Anything that would give away that I'm here?"

"No, Mr. Ganondorf, I never said a word to him."

"Good, at least I don't have to kill you then. You could still be useful to me."

The Postman stared at him in surprise.

"Now I suggest you disappear unless you want to be out there with the Gerudos fighting."

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman said, turning away.

"Oh, one more thing." Ganondorf said, just as he reached the door. "If you ever do turn on me, I'll make your excruciating death an example for all of Hyrule!"

The Postman gave him a wide-eyed glance over his shoulder then quickly disappeared out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link had walked Epona the rest of the way back to Hyrule, the horse exhausted from the day before and unable to run. He stopped at Lon Lon ranch to leave her to rest and borrowed another horse from Malon. The farm girl had scolded him for the condition Epona was in and warned him if he dared do the same to her horse, she'd plow him right in the face. He'd left the ranch feeling a bit apprehensive, not sure if Malon would actually do it and decided not to run this horse very hard.

As he made his way towards Gerudo valley, he couldn't help but wonder why the Gerudos would go to all the trouble of travelling to Termina to kidnap Tingle. Had the strange little man witnessed something he shouldn't have? Had he insulted the Gerudo in some way making her want to exact revenge on him? Whatever her reason for kidnapping him was, Link would make sure he rescued Tingle before any harm came to him.

The horse turned onto the path to Gerudo valley and crossed the bridge at a trot, Link keeping his eyes trained forward for any surprise attacks. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he steered the horse onto the road to the Gerudo fortress. The second he reached the opening to the road, he was met with the sight of over 100 armed Gerudo women blocking his path, spears, swords and bows at the ready. Link looked at the Gerudos. The Gerudos looked at Link. Then in a burst of motion, the Gerudos surged forward, tossing spears and drawing their bows.

Link barely had time to turn the horse and bolt in the other direction before spears and arrows flew at him, only missing him by a hair. He knew there was no way he could win the situation as he was so he'd retreat until he came up with a plan of action.

As the horse ran back towards Hyrule field, he knew by the amount of warriors protecting the fortress that they were hiding something. He wasn't sure if it was Ganondorf or just something they didn't want anyone to see, but now he was positive they were up to something.

As he rode across Hyrule field, he knew he had to tell Zelda about this latest turn of events. They had to come up with a plan to infiltrate the Gerudo fortress.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been five days since The Postman had returned to the Gerudo city and very slowly he was getting used to it. Since his mission had gone successfully, the Gerudos seemed less hostile towards him, instead choosing to ignore him completely. He freely walked throughout the castle whenever he wanted and no one paid him the least bit of attention. Almost all of the Gerudos were gone from the city, guarding the fortress and most of the Gerudos left behind were either children or the elderly. The only time he saw Ganondorf was at meals, and even then the Gerudo king looked extremely distracted. Although he was curious as to what Ganondorf was planning, he knew it really wasn't any of his business.

The only part of living in the castle he didn't like was the boredom. He'd never done so much of nothing in his entire life. He had so much pent up energy he felt like he'd explode. He could only stand so much of laying around doing absolutely nothing. That's why on the afternoon of the fifth day, he ventured into the city.

It was a blistering hot day and as The Postman walked through the streets, he realized just how beautiful the city was. The colours were bright and the air smelled of spices. He'd only had a few passing glances at it before but now that he was actually in it, he saw something he hadn't been expecting. All of the people seemed happy. There were children running in the streets, laughing and playing and small groups of old ladies were walking together and grinning mischievously as they gossipped. This wasn't the sort of home he'd have expected Ganondorf to have or the type of people to follow him. They seemed so...normal.

Laughter and childish giggling catching his attention, he followed the sound one street over and found a large group of children watching a puppet show. They were sitting around the small stage clapping, excitement clearly in their eyes. He approached and stood at the back, smiling slightly at the display.

One small girl, about the same age as his youngest sister, around eight or nine, looked up at him curiously. "You gonna watch the show, mister?"

"Maybe for a bit." he said, giving her a smile.

"You're supposed to sit down, mister, or you'll get in trouble."

"Will I?" The Postman asked, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

The girl reached up and grabbed his arm, pulling him down beside her. "That's Arietta," she whispered pointing at the red-headed puppet dressed like a Gerudo warrior. "She's a warrior princess who has to save the kingdom from the big bad man-monsters."

The Postman quickly saw the 'man-monsters' all resembled a certain hero of time and were created to look twisted and somewhat demonic. Every time a 'man-monster' appeared, they'd boo and shake their fists but every time Arietta would slay one, the children would all cheer. Realizing the Gerudos were mentally preparing the children to hate Link before they were even warriors yet, he shook his head.

Settling himself down comfortably, he watched the rest of the puppet show, finding himself enjoying it despite the propaganda undertones. When Arietta defeated the last of the man-monsters and successfully freed her mother and all of her sisters, the children all stood to their feet and cheered and clapped. The little girl beside him frowned down at him then asked.

"Didn't you like it, mister? Arietta's my favourite! She's so strong and pretty!"

The Postman gave her a smile as he slowly got back to his feet. "It was...interesting."

"There's a new show every week! You should come back for the next one!"

The Postman gave a slight stretch as he turned to leave. "Sounds fun." he told her. "You take care, don't go killing any man-monsters in the mean time."

"Naw, I'm too little to fight man-monsters but king Ganondorf will protect us from them!"

"I'm sure he will." The Postman said as he disappeared around the corner.

The Postman spent the next hour or so browsing through vender stalls in the market before heading back to the castle for supper.

He was very slowly starting to get used to the food the Gerudos served and he was able to handle more and more of the spice every time. As he was eating some sort of lentil dish, he was startled when Ganondorf's booming voice yelled over to him.

"Postman!" he yelled from the head of the main table.

The Postman removed the fork from his mouth and looked over. "Yes, Mr. Ganondorf?"

"Meet me in the throne room after supper, I have another job for you."

"Yes, sir."

As he finished his supper, he couldn't help but wonder what it was Ganondorf wanted him to do this time. Was he to return Tingle home? Getting up after he'd finished, he left the room still wondering what his part in Ganondorf's plan was.

He waited in Ganondorf's throne room for over an hour knowing the Gerudo tended to drink a lot of wine in the evenings and could be a while. When the villain finally entered the room, he seemed in good spirits and flopped down into his throne as The Postman waited uneasily beside him.

Ganondorf gave stretch then finally turned his attention to The Postman. "I have a mission for you." he stated.

"Yes?"

"That disgusting slug you brought me the other day really did know his stuff and I've been given some excellent maps. There's an area far North indicated on one of the maps that holds a mystical sword. At least it's rumoured to be in that area. I want you to find it and bring it to me."

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."

"The area is incredibly treacherous and the sword is said to be under lock and key at the far end of a cave with many traps. Are you good at picking locks, postman?"

"Honestly I've never tried, sir."

Ganondorf frowned a moment. "I don't want to take the chance you won't be able to pick the lock. That's why I'm sending someone with you; someone who's used to moving about unnoticed."

"Who is that, sir?"

"There's a thief by the name of Sakon I've used on several different occasions. He's the best at what he does and he's fast. He'll accompany you."

The Postman froze at the name and Ganondorf gave him a curious look. "Do you know him?" he asked.

"Yes, sir, Sakon grew up in Termina. We used to play as children."

"Huh. Well, at least you'll have something to talk about then."

"But sir, I'm supposed to be dead! He knows me!"

Ganondorf waved him off dismissively. "He won't reveal your secret, he has too many of his own he doesn't revealed. I can trust him with this mission; that snake can break his way into anywhere."

The Postman gave a hesitant nod. "Yes, sir, as you wish. Am I to find him then?"

"No, I sent word for him to come here. You'll leave first thing in the morning when he gets here."

The Postman wasn't sure whether to be insulted he hadn't been used to deliver the message but gave a nod all the same.

"You two may use a horse to get to the mountains but after that the terrain will be too rocky for riding. Just leave the horses and they'll find their own way home."

"Yes, Mr. Ganondorf."

"The reason I'm sending you together instead of just the thief by himself is because I want you to insure the sword is brought back to me. Sakon has been known to steal from me before so I want you to guard that sword with your life."

"Yes, sir."

"Good, now you may leave. You're dismissed."

As The Postman left the throne room, he felt apprehensive about meeting with Sakon. They hadn't ended their friendship on good terms all those years ago and wondered whether the thief would still be angry with him. Either way, it was going to be an interesting day.


	7. The Thief

**AuthorNote:**

Ok, everyone, a little bit of an explanation of this chapter. It's mostly dialogue and is kind of low-key. It explains a little about The Postman's origins and fleshes out the character Sakon a little bit. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, you guys motivate me to keep writing! ^.^ Please R&R and let me know of any suggestions you might have!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

The Thief

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><p>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<p>

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><p>Link sat down next to Zelda with a huff. She gave him a questioning look as he let out an irritated sigh.<p>

"Nothing is going to plan, princess." he informed her. "I was supposed to hear back from the Gorons days ago but haven't received their response. I haven't received a response from the Zoras as well. I haven't been getting my mail, any mail at all and it's getting a bit frustrating."

"Not getting your mail? But the new postman has been here for four days. You haven't received anything?"

Link shook his head. "I went to the post office to ask him about it but he locked the door and wouldn't speak to me. That's when I found my mail floating in the fountain. I don't know how long it had been there but the ink was all smeared and the parchment fell apart when I touched it."

Zelda gave a frown. "You think it was intentional?"

Link gave a nod. "If it was just a few letters I'd think he dropped them in there by accident but there were days and days worth. It's not just this postman either; it's all the postmen. I've found letters of mine all over the lands, in rivers, in animal troughs, up in trees. I think the postmen are sending me a very clear message."

"Could you try speaking with them?" Zelda suggested. "It's highly unprofessional to refuse to deliver your mail!"

"I've tried, princess. None of them will speak to me; they just pretend I'm not even there."

Zelda herself was irritated. "I'll bring the postman for Hyrule in and speak to him myself."

"I don't think that will do any good, princess." Link informed her. "You should see the way they look at me; they hate me and are angry and sad. I don't think the postman in kakariko was the only relative of the former postman...I think they all are."

Zelda paused a moment as she considered that. "That would explain it..."

"I'll have to visit the Gorons and Zoras myself." Link said. "It will take longer to get everything organized but it's the only way."

"Are you sure you don't want me to arrange the postmen to be spoken to?"

Link shook his head. "I really doubt that would make any difference. They're exacting their revenge on their relative/friend's murderer. They won't deliver mail to me no matter what."

Zelda gave another frown. "If you think it's what they need, then I won't speak to any of them. You should probably get going to the Zora domain and Goron City then. We need to find out what their stance is on this situation. I'll walk you out."

Link gave a nod and stood to his feet. "Yes, princess."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Postman walked down the castle halls, apprehensive about the meeting with the thief. He'd just been summoned to the throne-room and had a feeling it wasn't going to go over well. The last time he'd seen Sakon, he'd delivered him a warrant for his arrest.

As he approached the throne room door, the guards stepped aside to let him pass and he gave a loud knock to the door.

"Enter."

When he entered the throne room, he instantly saw Sakon standing before Ganondorf, his usual eery grin plastered on his face. As he crossed the room, Ganondorf glanced over to him.

"Ah, postman, you're just in time."

Sakon turned around to face him and instantly his grin disappeared. "You. What are you doing here?"

"He works for me now." Ganondorf responded. "The two of you are going to do a job for me."

Sakon gave The Postman a smug look. "Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Guess your morals didn't help you in the end after all."

The Postman said nothing, simply taking his place in front of Ganondorf to await instruction.

"You still think you're too good to talk to me?" Sakon demanded. "You were never an upstanding citizen when I knew you!"

The Postman looked up towards the ceiling and shifted, willing the thief to be quiet. Sakon noticed the change in his demeanor and gave him a mischievous grin.

"Oh, that's right! You pretend none of it ever happened; that you've always been the happy little postman!" Sakon gave a snort. "Yeah, if people only knew how rotten you were!"

Ganondorf seemed vaguely interested. "Is that so?"

"I wasn't that bad." The Postman said defensively. "He's exaggerating."

Sakon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right. When we were children, we were known as the terrible two! You don't get that name from studying hard and following the rules!"

"Perhaps not, but I grew up whereas you didn't." The Postman replied haughtily.

"Grew up to be the thing you hated most." Sakon snapped. "You never wanted to be a postman like your parents. You used to say you'd become a pirate or become a hero, anything as long as you didn't have to get stuck in such a lame job."

"Like I said, I grew up and realized my responsibilities. I enjoy being a postman; it's my life."

"You wimped out and took the easy road."

"So sorry I didn't choose to become a criminal instead." The Postman stated, starting to get annoyed.

"Did you forget who you're currently working for?" Sakon asked with a hint of amusement.

The Postman visibly deflated.

"That's what I thought. As much as you hate to admit it, you and I are on the same level. We always were but you shunned me anyway!"

Ganondorf was watching the interaction like it was some sort of performance. He'd never seen The Postman this flustered and irritated before and gave a low chuckle. "You two are going to have an interesting journey together."

The Postman let out a resigned sigh. "I suppose we are."

Ganondorf was looking thoughtful as he dug through the papers on his desk. "You could have been such a wonderful villain, postman. Whatever made you change your ways?"

The Postman was obviously very uncomfortable with the discussion and averted his gaze. "Like I said, I grew out of it."

Sakon let out a snort. "Yeah right. During the great cucco heist, your father caught you. That's why you stopped hanging around me."

"Cucco heist?" Ganondorf questioned.

Sakon nodded. "Yeah, we were twelve at the time and thought it would be hilarious to steal all of Romani Ranch's cuccos and release them in the town square of Clock Town."

The Postman let out a sigh. "Please stop talking."

Ignoring him, Sakon continued the story with an impish smirk."So we both stole two huge sacks of cuccos, carried them across Termina fields into Clock Town then started releasing them during the midnight festival."

"I'm sure he doesn't care about this, Sakon."

"Hush, I'm talking now." Sakon scolded him. "Well, anyway, we emptied out all the cuccos we had in the middle of the feast and the chaos was instant! The cuccos ruined all of the food and people were screaming and crying as the cuccos flew and pooped on absolutely everything! We got caught pretty quick though because his father saw the whole thing. We were both given a good beating and he was sent to live with his uncle for a while. When he came back, he was different."

"I was just in a rebellious phase." The Postman explained. "It passed."

"Whatever you say." Sakon said with a roll of the eyes.

"Shame." Ganondorf stated. "For a second there, postman, I thought there might be something interesting about you."

"Sorry to disappoint, sir."

"Hmm," Ganondorf said, holding out a few papers. "Here's the maps you'll need to find the cave. Be as fast as possible and don't let the hero know what you're up to."

"What're we stealing anyway?" Sakon demanded. "Is it valuable?"

Ganondorf narrowed his eyes. "No. It's just a sword."

"A magic sword?"

"No, an ordinary sword."

"Is it encrusted with jewels?" Sakon asked eagerly.

"No. Just plain steel."

Sakon frowned. "You want us to steal an ordinary sword? Why? You have plenty!"

"That is my concern only, thief. Do your job and steal it or I will have you thrown in the dungeon."

Sakon held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay, I get it. One useless hunk of metal coming right up."

The Postman accepted the maps then turned to leave, not waiting for Sakon to follow. The thief trotted after him, eery grin settling back in place. As they exited the castle, The Postman slipped his mask over his head in silence, then headed for the stables.

"What's with the mask?" Sakon questioned.

The Postman pushed open the stable door and entered, still not saying anything.

"You're going to have to speak to me eventually." Sakon pointed out. "It's going to be a long journey."

"It's so I'm not recognized." The Postman said. "I'm well known in Hyrule."

"Now why would a postman need to hide his face?" Sakon asked. A moment later, realization crossed his face. "You did something, didn't you! That's why you don't want to be recognized! They're after you!"

The Postman's silence was all the confirmation he needed.

"You really have fallen to my level!" Sakon commented. "What did you do?"

The Postman opened the stall door and let out the black horse. It snorted and stomped angrily at the sight of Sakon but stayed still as The Postman saddled it.

"I was in the wrong place at the wrong time." The Postman said finally.

"That's how it is though, isn't it?" Sakon stated. "We all get a bad break and the next thing you know, we're wanted men."

The Postman said nothing as he finished saddling the horse.

"You know," Sakon said casually. "You don't really have a reason to be mad with me. If anything, I should be angry at you!"

"I'm not mad." The Postman said, mounting the horse.

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "Really? Then what's with the cold treatment?"

"I've moved on from childhood escapades, Sakon. Our friendship was another lifetime ago."

"If I recall, you're the one who ended it. There was no reason we still couldn't have been friends."

"I was through disappointing my parents." The Postman said as he stroked the horses head. "I was the oldest and it was time I started acting like it."

"So I was just disposable." Sakon snapped. "You wouldn't look at me, wouldn't speak to me, you just left me all alone."

The Postman looked away.

"I kept going to your house, you know," Sakon said. "Hoping you'd come around, hoping to at least get a hello. I kept coming, until one day your younger brother Haru, beat me up telling me to get lost. I saw you watching from the window but you didn't stop him. That's the day I truly realized our friendship was gone."

"I'm sorry," The Postman said quietly. "It was wrong of me to end our friendship that way. I should have spoken to you."

Sakon gave a sigh. "It's dumb of me to hold something against you that you did as a child. The past is the past."

Sakon mounted the horse behind The Postman and they rode out of the stable in silence. As they crossed the Gerudo city, Sakon clearly leered at the Gerudos they passed, earning him multiple looks of death. He whistled at one particular Gerudo and had to duck as she threw her spear at him. Nonplussed, he blew her a kiss as they rode off, the Gerudo scowling after them.

"How'd you get so lucky to live here?" Sakon demanded. "Gerudo women are the hottest of the hot! What I wouldn't give to live in this harem! I'd replenish the Gerudos all by myself!"

The Postman glanced over his shoulder at him. "Better not let the Gerudos hear you say that."

Sakon gave a sleazy grin. "I was only imagining," he stated. "What a life you must have here!"

"I'm the last thing the Gerudos are interested in." The Postman stated. "I live here as part of Ganondorf's employment of my services, not as a love interest."

Sakon furrowed his brow in thought. "Are you gay? It's fine if you are, because I know there's no possible way a straight man could resist a Gerudo!"

The Postman frowned over his shoulder at the thief.

Sakon gave an innocent shrug. "Well, if I were you, I would have been allll over the Gerudos!"

"And that's why you would be dead."

They passed by the Gerudo fortress where there were still over a hundred warriors posted all over. Sakon's grin practically reached his ears as they passed, his eyes taking in the view. It was clear he was struggling not to reach out to touch the women as they passed, his self-preservation winning out. Once they were out of view and earshot, he let out a love-struck sigh.

"I love Gerudos, so lovely and cold-hearted. The perfect women."

The Postman said nothing, simply shaking his head and brought the horse to a canter as they crossed the bridge. It was still early morning as they rode across Hyrule field so no one was out yet to see them. They made it to Kakariko village with good time and when they passed through, the villagers were just starting their day. They gave the two curious albeit sleepy looks but didn't seem to care either way what they were up to. The guard posted at the entrance to Death Mountain had other ideas.

He kept the gate firmly closed and stepped forward, holding his spear at the ready.

"Halt!" he ordered.

The Postman brought the horse to a stop as the guard narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"What is your business on Death Mountain?" he demanded.

The Postman knew he couldn't speak without giving his identity away, so he gave Sakon a nudge. Sakon instantly gave the guard a cheerful grin.

"I thought Death Mountain was opened to the public years ago." he stated. "Have the laws changed without my knowledge?"

The guard scowled. "No, it is still open to the public but the king has ordered me to make sure suspicious characters don't cause trouble on the mountain."

Sakon, a born liar, adapted an expression of shock. Placing a hand over his heart he said. "You think we're suspicious? Oh, dear, that's really terrible! What can we do to prove our honesty?"

The guard crossed his arms. "What are you doing with a Gerudo and where are you headed?"

"Gerudo? Who hi-her?" Sakon asked, instantly catching on.

"Yes, her." the guard said with distrust.

"Well, sir," Sakon began as he wrapped his arms around The Postman with an overly, happy, lustful grin. "We're engaged to be married and just wanted to have a little getaway. We wanted to find an 'unoccupied' cave if you know what I mean..."

The guard winced. "She is a Gerudo, isn't she?"

Sakon rubbed a hand up and down The Postman's arm as The Postman desperately looked the other way. "Of course she is!"

The guard squinted a bit closer at The Postman. "She's kinda flat-chested to be a Gerudo, isn't she?"

Sakon let out an indignant gasp and again hugged The Postman, hiding his chest from view with his hands. "How dare you insult my beautiful Dumassalina! She's perfect in every way! I would think a man of your stature would know better than to pick on young girls because of their breast size! I have half a mind to complain about you!"

The guard seemed taken aback. "Er, no, I didn't mean it like that..." Turning to look up at The Postman, he tipped his helmet. "My apologies, miss. I hope you're not offended."

"Of course she's offended but she'll be even more offended if our vacation is ruined because you won't let us pass!"

The guard seemed skeptical. "Weeeell," he said thoughtfully. "I suppose you folks look all right. I'll let you pass, just don't be causing any trouble with the Gorons."

Sakon gave him a salute. "You have our word, good sir!"

The guard tapped his spear on the ground a few times and the gate instantly slid open. As The Postman gave a light kick to the horse and passed by the guard at a walk, the man tipped his helmet again.

"Enjoy your vacation."

Sakon simply gave him an impish look.


	8. The Gorons

**AuthorNote:**

****Hi Everyone, sorry for the longer than usual gap between chapters. was again being a tool and i was having a hard time uploading it. I have a feeling no one is reading this anyway but I'm having a fun time writing it! lol Next update should be out in a couple days. Please R&R!

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

The Gorons

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><p>The horse stomped on several monsters as they passed and Sakon was surprised at the horses viciousness. He'd never seen such a bloodthirsty animal before but seeing as it belonged to Ganondorf, it really wasn't all that surprising. As they rode up the trail, Sakon gave The Postman an amused smirk as he hummed to himself innocently.<p>

"So, Darling," he drawled. "Where we headed exactly?"

"The Forbidden district passed Death Mountain."

"Ooo, forbidden, sounds mysterious! Anything interesting there?"

The Postman gave a shrug. "Depends on your definition of interesting. There's a lot of Wolfos, Keese and groups of wandering redead around."

Sakon scratched at his bald head a moment. "You've been there before?"

"Of course."

Sakon puzzled that over. "Why?" he demanded. "I can't see your job taking you to the forbidden district. It's called forbidden for a reason."

"I deliver mail to wherever and whoever it's for; that's the sign of a good postman."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "Um, no. If somewhere is forbidden then you're not supposed to go there for any reason, even to deliver mail. You could have gotten in soooo much trouble if they had have caught you!"

The Postman waved him off dismissively.

Sakon then flashed him a grin. "Ha ha, you're such a criminal! You just wanted to explore, didn't you?"

The Postman instantly became indignant. "No! I'm a postman; I deliver mail! It doesn't matter to me where it is I have to go! That doesn't make me a criminal!"

"Yeah, it kind of does." Sakon said, enjoying every minute of the other man's discomfort. "If you break the law, you're a criminal, no matter how you try to sugarcoat it."

The Postman grunted skeptically, still not believing him. Truthfully, he had been more interested in exploring the area than delivering the scribbled note a senile old man had given him to deliver to a cactus but that was besides the point. He'd still had a job to do regardless of whether the area was forbidden.

The Postman brought the horse to stop in front of Goron city and slid down to his feet as Sakon gave him a questioning look.

"You do know I was joking about us finding an unoccupied cave, right?" he asked.

Ignoring that comment, The Postman said. "The Gorons have a maze of tunnels going all through the mountains. If we go this way, it'll be shorter."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do."

Sakon gave a shrug and slid down beside him. "If you say so. I should let you know however, I'm kind of banned from the Goron City..."

"That somehow doesn't surprise me."

"Don't you want to know why?"

The Postman gave him a flat look. "Does it involve stealing?" he guessed.

"Don't give me that look, this could have just as easily been your life too. As a matter of fact it did involve stealing; the stealing of a great many things in fact. They got the items back in the end but they made it very clear I was never to step foot in Goron City again."

The Postman was a very efficient person and didn't like wasting time when he didn't have to. He shifted about impatiently and glanced towards the entrance to Goron City knowing if they went over the mountains it would takes weeks opposed to a couple days.

"Come on." The Postman said, starting towards the mouth of the cave.

Sakon stayed where he was, hand on the horses reins. "Did you not hear a word I just said? If I step one foot in there, I'll get pounded by about five hundred different Gorons at once!"

"Better run then."

Sakon's mouth dropped open. "No!"

"Mr. Ganondorf wants us to be as fast as possible and this is the fastest way to the forbidden zone. If we take the other way it'll be weeks just to get there then weeks to get back. I doubt that's what he meant by fast."

Sakon hesitated and pulled at his collar with a grimace. He didn't want to face the Gorons again but the Gorons paled in comparison to the rage Ganondorf would show if they displeased him. He'd experienced Ganondorf's rage before and still bore the scars. He'd barely escaped with his life; only his fast reflexes and silver tongue saving his life.

Sighing heavily, Sakon gave a slap to the horses haunches, sending it on its way then jogged to catch up with The Postman.

"Don't let me die."

The Postman said nothing which didn't reassure him.

"Ok, so where do I head for while running for my life?" Sakon asked.

"There's a passage in the Goron Shop behind the tapestry The Gorons won't stop you once you're inside the passage, they think it's haunted."

Sakon was relieved. "Okay, then what?"

"If we're separated, get through the passage by going down the first tunnel then take a right then the next right then take the first left, then another left, then go straight twice then a right, another right, then a left, then a left, then straight twice again and just keep repeating that pattern."

The thief nodded slowly. "Right."

As they entered the cave, The Postman sped up to a brisk walk. "Don't attract attention to yourself. Try to remain unnoticeable."

"How do I do that?" Sakon asked with a frown. "We're two men in a cave full of Gorons."

The Postman's attention was already focussed ahead and he either didn't hear Sakon or just chose not to answer.

The moment they entered the Goron City, joyful drumming could be heard and the two hurried along one of the paths, the only Goron in sight far out in a platform overlooking the city. They ran down the flight of stairs next floor and immediately met a large group of Gorons who had been lazing around.

The Postman immediately nudged his way through them as if he belonged and they blinked tiredly at him but Sakon froze as the Gorons turned their gaze on him. They squinted at him then exchanged looks.

"Arrru?" A Goron questioned, standing to its feet. "Don't we know you?"

Sakon backed up a step. "No. I don't believe so. I just have one of those faces."

All the Gorons slowly stood to their feet as they looked at him a bit more closely. Most men looked the same to them but Sakon specifically had a look of no-good written across his face which they clearly recognized.

"You! You're the thief brother Darunia is so angry at! The one who stole all of brother's ceremonial artifacts!"

Sakon winced and backed up a few steps as the Gorons began approaching him."Ah, no, you've mistaken me for someone else. I'm just a travelling peasant whose never done harm to no one!"

"Brother said if you ever came back we're to grind you into the ground." One of the Gorons stated simply.

Sakon paled considerably then took off running back up the stairs, the Gorons in hot pursuit. As he watched them go, The Postman gave a heavy sigh then followed behind.

As Sakon made it to the first floor, the Gorons rolled behind him directly on his heals, and he bolted for the exit figuring The Postman could do the job himself. He wasn't expecting a giant Goron the be blocking the entire entrance however. When it saw what was going on, it instantly curled itself and rolled towards Sakon at a speed much faster than the smaller Gorons.

Abruptly changing direction, Sakon ran the other way, horrified at what was hurtling towards him and flung himself out of the way of one of the Gorons. Looking up just in time, he rolled just as the big Goron reached him and instantly dodged two more Gorons as he ran back the way he'd come.

Realizing he'd made a grave error as every Goron had heard the commotion and had come to help, he was now completely surrounded from all directions. As he gave a helpless look around himself, the Gorons began spinning, ready to mass-roll him. Closing his eyes, he covered his head, hoping it wouldn't hurt too badly.

He was hit solidly in the chest and opened his eyes to see The Postman had knocked him out of the circle, pushing him over the railing. Shocked, he hit the hard stone of the second floor, then the third then kept bouncing until he was at the very bottom. He laid stunned and bruised for a moment staring upwards then slowly rolled to his feet. Glancing upwards, he could make out the sight of The Postman being surrounded as several Gorons made their way down towards him. Limping to the Goron store, Sakon entered and crawled awkwardly over the counter much to the venders protest.

He grabbed a few items from the shelves then quickly jumped into the dusty tunnel behind a tapestry as the Goron complained loudly about the thefts. The Goron didn't follow him into the tunnel so Sakon grinned at him cheekily from about ten feet in.

"Oooooo, haunted tunnel, haunted tunnel booga booga!" he mocked, holding out the stolen merchandise.

Laughing, he disappeared into the dark tunnel, wondering why the Gorons thought it was haunted.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Postman stared down at Sakon as he bounced down floor after floor. Oops. He didn't have long to contemplate this however as the Gorons quickly realized their target was gone. Uncurling themselves, they stared at The Postman in confusion.

"WHO ARE YOU?" demanded the big Goron.

"Go after the thief!" one Goron directed the others closest the stairs.

The remaining Gorons began approaching The Postman menacingly.

"Why did you help the thief escape?" one demanded

"Are you a thief too?" another asked.

When The Postman said nothing, the Gorons exchanged looks with one another. "This one is a Gerudo, right? Can we smoosh women?"

Another shook his head. "No, we don't hurt females, you know our customs! Only brother Darunia may execute a female!"

"Even if it's a Gerudo female?"

"Yes."

"Fine. Let's bring her to him then!"

"Torg, you bring her. If you squeeze her a bit too hard and break a few bones no one will be mad."

The big Goron nodded and scooped the unresisting postman up into one of his huge hands. Despite keeping a firm hold on him, he was actually being quite gentle. The Goron lumbered along slowly as the smaller Gorons went ahead, obviously to help with the capture and tell Darunia what had happened.

By the time they made it to the bottom floor, Darunia was waiting outside his chambers, arms crossed, expression anything but happy. He stared up at The Postman with narrowed eyes in silence for a moment then asked.

"If you're set down, will you walk inside unrestrained?"

The Postman gave a nod.

"Break this trust and it will never be given back." Darunia warned.

Again The Postman nodded.

"Put him down."

"Him, brother?"

"Yes. Put him down."

The Goron very carefully set him down on his feet and Darunia motioned for him to follow. The Postman followed the Goron leader into the chambers without a word. The chambers were cool and musty like a basement, the only heat from several torches near the door. Several tapestries and weapons adorned the walls, giving the room a tribal but welcoming feel to it. Darunia took a seat on his throne with a grunt and fixed The Postman with a steady look.

"How did you know I wasn't a Gerudo?" The Postman asked, curiously.

"I saw you with the thief earlier. You don't walk like a woman and aren't shaped like a woman. It was an easy assumption to make."

The Postman said nothing to this so the Goron continued. "I won't speak to a man who hides his face. Take off your mask."

Obediently, The Postman reached up and pulled off the mask causing the Goron to frown at him. The Goron's eyes raked him up and down but he seemed confused.

"I recognize you...I know I've see you before, but where? How do I know you?"

The Postman gave a shrug and averted his gaze. "Not sure, Sir."

Darunia narrowed his eyes. "Are you betraying the trust I've shown you?" the Goron demanded.

"I was the postman." he said with a sigh.

"That's better." Darunia said, before realization hit him. "The Postman? You're The Postman?"

"I was." The Postman said, sadly.

"What happened? How did you get here? How did you become this?"

"I got stabbed, sir."

"Stabbed?" Darunia asked with disbelief. "How does a postman get stabbed?"

The Postman let out another sigh. "It's a long story, sir. Essentially, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and there was a misunderstanding between myself and the Hero of Time."

Darunia's eyes widened at the mention of his sworn blood brother. "Brother Link would never stab a scrawny little weakling like you! Where would the honour be in that? He's a great warrior!"

Without a word, The Postman lifted his shirt showing Darunia the ugly scar going across his stomach. Darunia stared a long moment and to his trained eye he could easily see the wound had been made by a sword. Darunia gave him a frown.

"So my brother Link either thinks you're dead or wants you dead." he stated.

"Yes, sir."

"Why shouldn't I just kill you now and do him the favour?" Darunia demanded.

"Because Gorons have honour, Sir and you know I cannot fight."

Darunia gave a shrug. "You're right. Unless a death sentence is passed, we won't kill you. You're not really much of anything; not a warrior, not an assassin, you don't look like a thief. To be honest, I don't think you're worth a death sentence. Now can you tell me why you helped the thief who stole the ceremonial artifacts to escape?"

"I didn't want him to die."

"Are you a thief?"

"No, sir."

"Do you commit crimes with him?"

"No, sir."

"Then why would you even care? Do you know him?"

"I did long ago."

Darunia seemed to ponder that a moment. "Did you know him before he became a criminal?" he asked.

The Postman nodded. "I did. We were close friends."

Darunia gave him a nod. "I appreciate your honesty. I don't think you've lied to me."

"No, sir."

"That thief has a death sentence put on him and if he ever steps foot in Goron city then he will be executed." Darunia stated. "You will not interfere with this."

"Why such a harsh sentence, sir? You got back the artifacts."

Darunia raised an eyebrow then let out a snort. "Is that what he told you? He's a liar as well as a thief, we never got back our artifacts. He tricked you."

The Postman sighed. He should have known.

"I am going to let you go, postman, since you have never done anything directly to us Gorons. You have to do something for me though, is this understood?"

"What is it, sir?"

"I don't believe brother Link has been getting the letters I've been sending him. If I give you a letter, could you see that he gets it one way or another?"

Everything else instantly forgotten, The Postman immediately jumped forward excitedly. "Of course I can, sir! You can always count on me to get the job done!"

"Even if you aren't a postman anymore?"

"...I'm sure I can make an exception just this once."

Darunia almost seemed amused but he simply turned away to the nearby table and retrieved a letter. He held it out to The Postman who practically pounced at the letter then gave a salute.

"I'll deliver it with diligence, Mr. Darunia!"

"Good, now be more careful who you consort with, postman." Darunia warned.

"Yes, sir." The Postman said, as he turned to leave. "I don't suppose you might have a torch I might borrow would you?"

"Ask the shop-keeper. He has a few torches under the counter."

The Postman gave him a polite nod. "Thank you."

When he left Darunia's chambers a large group of Gorons were gathered around outside obviously waiting to see what would happen. The Postman still had the mask off and several Gorons cocked their heads curiously at him, having thought him a woman previously then exchanged looks with their friends. He edged his way passed them without a word, then entered the Goron shop.

"Hello." The Postman greeted the shop-keeper, politely. "How are you?"

The Goron eyed him warily and stepped in front of what wares it had left. "You come to steal from me too?"

The Postman frowned. Sakon had obviously come this way already. "No, I was wondering if you had any torches?"

The Goron was never one to turn away a potential sale so he dug under the counter for a moment and pulled out an old dusty torch.

"Don't sell many of these; most people just use deku sticks. You'll get about six hours with one torch."

"How much?"

Squinting for a moment, trying to figure out the losses and a good profit, the Goron said "With flint included, 5000 rupees."

The Postman crossed his arms. "40 rupees."

"That's insane! I can't drop the price that low! I'd go bankrupt! 1000 rupees!"

"45."

The Goron frowned at him realizing The Postman was no fool. "Fine, I'll go down to 500 but that's the absolute lowest I can go! I'm really taking a loss on this though!"

"50."

The Goron narrowed his eyes, knowing this was going to be a hard bargain.

"Alright, I'm willing to go down to 100 but now I'm not making any profit at all! You buying it at this price is actually painful!"

"55."

The Goron shook his head. "Sorry. I can't do it. 100 is the lowest I can go. If I drop it any lower I won't make anything at all! This is genuine hardwood out of Lost Wood! Very expensive! 100 is the lowest price you'll get anywhere and I'm absolutely solid on the price!"

The Postman raised an eyebrow. "35."

"Wait. You can't do that!" The Goron protested. "You can't lower it again!"

The Postman gave a shrug.

"Ok, ok, fine! You can have it for the 55! You're a swindler I tell you! Cheating a hardworking Goron out of his merchandise!"

"I didn't cheat you out of it." The Postman stated.

The Goron gave him a grin. "I know, I'm just messing with you. How many of the torches do you want?"

The Postman thought a moment. "Six, if you have them."

There were a few things The Postman had learned from his mother in his lifetime, one being her ability to haggle with merchants. His mother had never paid full price for anything in her life; she couldn't afford to with thirteen children.

The Goron dug under the counter again for a minute or two and brought out a armful of the small torches. He waited as The Postman counted out the rupees then handed them over still making a tidy little profit over the seldom sold stock.

"Did the thief go through there?" The Postman asked, pointing towards the passage.

"You're looking for the thief?" The Goron demanded. "Are you going after him?"

"Yes."

"He went that way! He stole most of my merchandise and ran down that way! Darunia must have sent you, thank the goddesses! Please go get him!"

The Postman gave a nod. "Don't worry. I'll find him."

The Goron lifted the counter to let him pass and as The Postman approached the tunnel, the Goron scratched its head. "I can't help but feel you look familiar..."

The Postman quickly ducked into the tunnel.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakon had long ago used a stolen fairy to heal himself and was walking the twisted tunnels at a brisk walk, map in hand. He could barely see in front of himself but he remembered the directions The Postman had given for getting out of the tunnels and had been walking and walking and walking. He knew he probably should have waited for the other but in the lives of villains it was self-preservation. He was starting to get a bit frustrated that the maze of tunnels was so long and it didn't help that it was so dark. There seemed to be dead keese every where as he kept tripping over one every now and then and everything around himlooked exactly the same.

When he'd tripped over a keese for the fifteenth time, it hit him. They weren't different keese, it was the same keese. The Postman had given him directions to keep him going around in a circle. He stopped dead in his tracks and glanced around himself. Why that conniving little sneak! Sakon grinned proudly then couldn't help but start to laugh. That's when he saw the light from the torch approaching him.

"Oh, you waited for me." The Postman said innocently.

"You gave me directions to lead me in a circle!" Sakon accused.

"I didn't."

"Take a right then the next right then take the first left, then another left, then go straight twice then a right, another right, then a left, then a left, then straight twice again and just keep repeating that pattern." Sakon mocked.

"Ah, that's where you made the mistake. You made one right where you should have made a left and you made a left where you should have gone right."

Sakon hesitated, now not so sure. "Fine, you win this one." he conceded. "And what's that in your hand?"

The Postman glanced down at the letter in his hand and stuffed it into his pocket as he turned away. "It's nothing. We have to hurry, come on."

Sakon narrowed his eyes in suspicion but followed after The Postman with a frown.


	9. The Forbidden District

**Authornote: **

**I'm starting a new job in a few days so i'm not sure how fast my updates will be after that. I'll do the best I can, but I'll be working extremely long hours. There's not too much of the story left so hopefully I'll be able to finish the whole thing shortly.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>xxxxxxxxxxxxxx<strong>

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><p><strong>How To Be A Villain<strong>

**The Forbidden District**

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><p><strong>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx<strong>

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><p>Sakon liked to pride himself in his ability at being fast and sneaky. What good was a slow thief after all? After every heist he'd run like a keese straight out of Din's fire and usually no one could catch him. That's why he was quite perturbed when he struggled to keep up with The Postman in the dark, dank tunnels, and wheezed at the exertion as they ran along. He was used to running a lot in his profession but definitely not like this and he wiped the sweat from his brow.<p>

"Slow down a little!" Sakon yelled ahead. "This isn't a race!"

The Postman glanced over his shoulder at Sakon, not even out of breath yet and slowed down a bit much to other mans relief.

"We have to keep running." The Postman informed him as the thief caught up to him.

Sakon wheezed and gave him a dirty look. "We are running and I'll tell you this right now, I can't run for two straight days. I don't know if I can even run for two more minutes."

The Postman nodded. "We only need to keep running while in this part of the tunnels."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Just because."

Sakon narrowed his eyes. "What aren't you telling me? What are we running from? Is there something in here with us?"

The Postman said nothing.

Sakon's eyes widened and he glanced around himself, sub-consciously slowing down as he did so.

"Don't stop." The Postman warned him.

Sakon sped back up.

"What is it?" he demanded. "Is it some kind of monster?"

The Postman gave him a side-long glance. "You're not going to like it. It's probably better if you don't know."

"No," Sakon protested. "That just makes it much worse!"

"You just think that now." The Postman said. "Just keep running, we're almost out of where it lives."

Sakon gazed around at the dark tunnels with wide, paranoid eyes expecting to see tentacles or glowing red eyes around every corner. Suddenly finding his second wind at the thought, he sped back up, wanting very much to be back outside.

"Have you seen this 'thing' before?" Sakon demanded. "Or is this just Goron legend?"

"Well," The Postman said. "I definitely saw something but I didn't stay around long enough to find out what it was."

"You mean it could have been nothing?" Sakon snarled. "It could have just been a giant jelly or something?"

The Postman shook his head. "I never said I didn't see it; I said I didn't stay around to find out what it was."

"Then what did it look like? Was it a monster?"

"I told you; you don't want to know. Remember we still have to come back through here on our way back."

"I'm going to die and it's going to be your fault." Sakon complained. "I swear I'm going to hit you one!"

The Postman rolled his eyes.

They came to a large opening at the end of the tunnel and were momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight which filtered into the room through a sky-dome above. The room was huge, round and full of strange trinkets and books. The Postman slowed to stop as Sakon crashed bodily into him, not expecting the sudden stop.

"When it chased me, the monster refused to step over the threshold into this room." The Postman said as way of an explanation. "We should be able to walk for a while."

Sakon panted hard, hands on knees as he struggled to catch his breath. He was still considering giving The Postman a good punch in the face for not warning him about the monster, but figured an ally would be beneficial to him at this point; especially in unknown territory. As Sakon struggled to catch his breath, The Postman stood idly nearby as he put out the torch. Placing it inside his backpack, he glanced down at Sakon who was seated on the floor, gasping.

"We really should get going."

Sakon gave him a look of death and shrugged his backpack off so he could dig through it a moment. He pulled out a bottle of red potion and popped the cork off. As he took a long swig, he instantly let out a breath of relief. Still giving The Postman a dirty look, he offered the bottle to him.

"You stole that." The Postman said in disapproval.

"So? I steal everything."

"No thank you, sir." The Postman said, turning away.

Sakon just stared at him. "Did you just call me 'sir'? Okay, now I really am going to hit you!"

Sakon re-corked the bottle and shoved it into the backpack. As he got back to his feet, his gaze fell on his surroundings for the first time. His eyes lit up at the sight of the cluttered room and he sprung over to the nearest table to look at all of the different nicknacks.

"Wow, everything's so old!" Sakon commented, picking up a crumbling book. "This stuff has to be worth a fortune!"

The Postman crossed his arms. "We don't have time for this."

"Who do you think it belongs to?"

"I wouldn't know." The Postman answered without interest.

"They'd have to be long dead by now! I bet no one even remembers about this place...well besides you."

"Can we please leave now? We're wasting daylight."

"In a minute." Sakon said distractedly as he continued looking over dishes and various books.

The Postman crossed his arms huffily. He was used to working endlessly until a job was done so Sakon's reluctance to move was really starting to irk him. He hoped it wouldn't be like this the whole mission.

"If the man who owns this stuff is dead, then I'd just be able to take it." Sakon announced, flipping through another book. "I bet I'd be able to sell a lot of this stuff."

The Postman said nothing.

"It looks like this guy was into Magic." Sakon stated after a minute or two. "Every book is about either magic or alchemy. I wonder who he was?"

A low, guttural roar sounded from far down the tunnels, causing both men to glance back towards the dark entrance to the tunnels.

"The man who created the creature in the tunnels?" The Postman guessed.

Sakon paled, having momentarily forgotten about the mystery monster in the tunnels, and slowly set down the book. "Uh, okay, let's go. I'll look at this stuff on our way back..."

As The Postman approached an old, rusted metal door, Sakon practically jumped over to him. The Postman struggled with the handle for a moment then pushed it open with a loud creak, and Sakon shoved past him hard. The Postman stepped outside and closed the door after him, a hot breeze ruffling his clothing. Turning around, he gazed out across the vast wasteland that stretched as far as he could see. Nothing seemed to be living anywhere he could see; the entire area was screaming of the word death. It was barren and grey to the look, the only trees small and shrivelled.

"Wow, this is quite the place." Sakon commented, letting out a low whistle. "I can see why it's so popular."

"Come on, we have to get going." The Postman stated, stepping away from the doorway. "The forbidden district isn't safe after dark."

"Yeah, yeah," Sakon muttered, following after him. "Everything involving you isn't safe."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link stood at the entrance of the Zora Domain and pulled out his ocarina. As he played Zelda's Lullaby, the waterfall parted for him, revealing the entrance and he jumped across the gap, wondering why after all these years the Zoras still insisted on being so secretive.

He walked along the edge of the water and could see the graceful Zoras swimming and playing in the water and smiled at how peaceful they were. He really didn't want to have to bring more bad news to the Zoras but he had to let King Zora know of his suspicions. If Ganondorf was still alive and was already planning something then all races would be affected. Looking up, Link saw a figure in white running down the stairs, letter in hand. Squinting a moment, he saw it was a young woman dressed in the official postal uniform.

The post woman's eyes fell on Link and they narrowed to slits. Link could easily see the resemblance the woman had to The Postman and shifted awkwardly as she approached to pass him. Just as she was passing him, she lashed out with her elbow, catching him hard in the stomach knocking him off the platform into the water.

Link choked on the water for a second before he broke the surface and when he looked up, he only caught a glimpse of the woman as she left Zoras Domain. She'd caught him by surprise and he gave a slight grimace as he rubbed his stomach. She was obviously some sort of relative to The Postman and he wondered if this was something that would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Crawling out of the water, he did his best to ring himself out as he walked, wondering how he always managed to get soaked before getting to the king. Zoras were used to being wet so they didn't mind if their visitors ended up looking like drowned rats; it was almost expected.

As Link made his way up the stairs to the king's throne room, he put his still sopping wet hat back on with a wince. The king was in his usual spot, blocking off the entrance to Lord Jabu Jabu looking very bored. When he saw Link however, his expression lit up, and he gave the hero a friendly smile.

"Ah, Link! I just sent a letter to you a moment ago! Did the young lady pass you?"

Link frowned. "We must have just missed one another." he replied.

"Shame," King Zora said. "But no matter. Now that you're here, we can discuss this problem you spoke of in person."

Link gave a nod. "As I mentioned, I think there's a problem involving the Gerudos. I saw one riding across Hyrule and she wouldn't tell me what she was up to. I followed her to Termina and she kidnapped Tingle, a mapmaker. No one's heard from him since."

King Zora frowned.

"When I went to the Gerudo Fortress, every available Gerudo was there armed to keep anyone and anything out. I know they're up to something."

"Are they acting on their new leaders orders?" King Zora asked.

"I believe they're acting on their old leaders orders. I think Ganondorf is alive."

King Zora took a very deep breath and almost seemed to deflate like a balloon as he released it. "I knew it was too good to be true." the Zora murmured. "What will you have the zoras do?"

"I'll need eyes and ears all over the lands. I need to know what they're planning and stop them before it's too late."

King Zora nodded. "You will always have the zoras as your allies." he said. "We will keep our eyes and ears to the waters to see what we can learn."

Link gave the king a grateful smile. "Thank you, your majesty."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Night had fallen in the forbidden zone and The Postman and Sakon had set up camp for the night in the safest spot they could find, hidden behind a large formation of rocks. So far the only sound they'd heard was the occasional keese and scream of a redead in the distance.

The Postman poked a stick into the fire as it crackled and sent a shower of sparks in Sakon's direction. The thief scowled at him and grabbed the stick away.

"Give me that! Haven't you ever built a fire before? You're going to put it out!"

The Postman glanced around the camp a bit uneasily. "I don't know if we should be having a fire..."

"Pftt, I've been a thief my whole life and have been on the run more times than I can count. I've always had campfires and haven't had a problem yet. You just have to know how to shield them."

The Postman leaned back on his bedroll and watched as Sakon painstakingly sharpened a dagger. Not particularly interested, his hand drifted to his pocket, his fingers ghosting over the letter. What was he going to do about that? Every fibre of his being was telling him to deliver it, but how was that possible? Link wanted him dead and if he tried delivering it, everyone would know he was still alive. He should have thought this through more carefully. Looking up, he saw Sakon had stopped what he was doing and was staring at him with narrowed eyes. His gaze flitted to his pocket for a second then the thief set down the dagger.

"Alright, what's with the letter?" he demanded.

The Postman stared into the fire. "What letter?"

"I've already seen it so you can't deny it." Sakon informed him. "What's in it? Why's it so important?"

The Postman gave a shrug. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Sakon pursed his lips in frustration. "Tell me!"

"There's nothing to tell." The Postman said, crossing his arms. "I don't have a letter."

"Is it a love letter from your boyfriend or something?" Sakon mocked. "Is that why you don't want me to see it?"

The Postman let out a snort and turned away.

"It is, isn't it!" Sakon cried.

The Postman refused to answer him, frowning into the fire instead, getting annoyed.

"Oh wow! It really is! It's probably something really sappy too like 'To my beloved little bunny, my love for you grows stronger every day. My heart yearns to hear your annoying, scratchy voice once more. I cannot wait until I see you again, love and kisses Ganondorf.' I mean why else would you be living with the guy and not be having fun with all the Gerudos?"

The Postman turned around and stared at Sakon in open disbelief. Then letting out an irritated, exasperated sigh, he got up, gathered his belongings and moved to the other side of the rock formation.

As he settled down for the night there was silence for quite some time until finally Sakon's voice called over the rocks. "You know I was just joking, right?"

The Postman responded with a few not so polite words which shut the thief up for the rest of the night.

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><p><strong>Authornote:<strong> 

**Wow! What's this? The Postman losing his temper? Wonders will never cease! Sakon had better watch himself!**

**Please remember to read and review everyone because it let's me know there's still the one odd person out there who's reading this. ^.^ Any thoughts or suggestions are encouraged!**


	10. The Cave

**AuthorNote:**

**Here is chapter ten on the day expected and the next chapter will hopefully be posted in the next day or two!**

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

The Cave

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><p>Link drew his sword as he started up Death Mountain knowing for sure the gorons would help him. There was a light drizzle of rain that turned the normally dusty path to slippery muck but even that didn't dampen his mood. Darunia had never let him down before and he held much respect for the goron chief.<p>

Link killed any monsters who got in his way, running up the mountain path that had grown so familiar to him. He passed by Dodongo's Cavern with barely a glance and let out a shiver as the rain soaked through his he reached Goron city, he dismounted Epona and sheathed his sword as he headed inside looking forward to seeing his sworn brother.

He was instantly greeted warmly by the gorons who smiled and waved at him as he passed, Link being one of few men they could easily tell apart. Link made his way down to the bottom floor and approached Darunia's chambers, wondering how the goron had healed since his imprisonment. He was quite surprised to see the chamber doors sealed tightly. Turning to a goron watching nearby he pointed to the door.

"What's going on? Why has Darunia locked himself in?"

The goron cocked its head a moment then said. "Brother Darunia isn't here."

"Where has he gone?" Link asked in confusion.

"He did not say. Sorry brother."

Link let out a sigh of frustration. "Did he say when he'd be back?"

The goron shook his head and gave him an apologetic look. "He did send you a letter though, brother. He said so before he left. Perhaps he told you his location in the letter?"

Link suddenly had a sense of dread. "How exactly did he send the letter? Is a goron bringing it or perhaps a carrier bird?"

"No, brother, he gave it to The Postman."

Link's shoulders visibly slumped. That would be one letter he'd never be seeing. With a groan, he turned away and wondered if he should try talking with a few of the postmen again. He needed Darunia to get the gorons involved and if that letter held the chief's location, he had to try to get his hands on it.

He walked back up through the goron city, not looking forward to another confrontation with The Postman's family and grimaced. Waving goodbye to the gorons, he left the city wondering how he'd try to plead his case. As stared towards the mountain paths, he definitely wasn't expecting to be jumped viciously from behind. He was knocked heavily to the ground and he instinctively rolled in case of an immediate attack. Now back on his feet, he stared at his attacker with a frown.

A small child no more than eight or nine stood in front of him, dressed in all white and holding out a short-sword threateningly. He couldn't tell whether the child was a boy or girl but he/she narrowed their eyes at him.

"You killed my brother!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sakon gave another side-long glance at The Postman. They'd travelled the day pretty much in silence and it was really starting to get to the thief. The wasteland was bad enough by itself but with the added muteness on top of it, it was unbearable. Brow furrowed, he fell in step beside the other man.

"You're not still mad about last night are you? I really was just joking with you."

The Postman raised an eyebrow. "Mad about what?"

Sakon just stared at him. "You weren't mad?"

"No? And what was I supposed to be angry about?" The Postman asked.

"Then what was with the silent treatment? You've barely said anything to me all day!"

The Postman regarded him a moment then said. "You're the one who prattles on; I just listen. You've haven't said anything all day, you've just been giving me weird looks."

Sakon frowned when he realized this was true. "...oh. Well, in that case, are we almost there yet? What's the map say?"

"I haven't looked at it." The Postman admitted. "But we should be there in a few hours."

"If you haven't looked at the map, how do you know where you're going?"

"I just do."

"That doesn't answer my question."

The Postman gave an evasive shrug as he began climbing up one of the many hills that were starting to develop in the terrain. Sakon scrambled up after him, not ready to let this go.

"You always know where people are and how to find places and things. You've been able to do that ever since we were children and I want to know how you do it!"

"I just have a good sense of direction," The Postman explained distractedly. "I do come from a long line of postmen after all."

Sakon wiped some dust from his eyes and gave the other man a frown. "No, that's not having a good sense of direction. Having a good sense of direction means you can tell which direction is north without a compass and rarely getting lost. I don't think you can get lost; you seem to already know where everything on the planet is! That's not normal."

The Postman snorted skeptically.

"Has it never occurred to you?" Sakon demanded. "Normal people need maps; that's why they're made!"

The Postman waved the thought off dismissively. "I just have a good memory, I remember places."

"And people you've never met? How do you find them?" Sakon challenged.

The Postman glanced over his shoulder at Sakon with a frown. "I don't know. I just do. My mail instincts are just good I suppose."

"Bull." Sakon stated. "I've never met anyone who can do what you can. It's just plain weird. Why haven't you ever wondered about this before?"

The Postman furrowed his brow a moment then gave a shrug. "If we hurry, we can make it to the cave before the heat of the day." he said, climbing a bit faster.

Sakon knew he was changing the subject on purpose but allowed it with a sigh. "Yeah, it's too hot out here," he complained, "My head is burning."

He followed after The Postman knowing he'd likely never get any real answers out of the man.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Link stared at the child in shock before it registered in his mind what he/she was wearing. The child wore a miniature postal uniform, complete with hat which was far too big.

"You're his younger brother?" Link asked with a frown.

"Sister." the child corrected, narrowing her eyes. "You killed him and I'm going to kill you!"

"I'm really sorry for what happened," Link said. "But you're just a kid!"

"So what? No one else in my family is getting revenge so I will! I will fight you to the death!"

"I'm not going to fight you." Link said with a frown. "What happened with your brother was a horrible accident and I'm really sorry. He shouldn't have died."

"But he did." the girl snarled. "And you did it!"

The girl clenched her sword tightly in her fist and took a deep, shaky breath as she fearlessly took a step towards the hero. "Fight me!"

Link shook his head. "I'm sorry but I won't fight you."

"Then stand still as I kill you!" the girl yelled, charging him with the sword.

Link stepped aside and the inexperienced fighter fell flat on her face in the dust. Nursing a nosebleed, the girl got back to her feet and glared at Link as he gave her a concerned look.

"Are you alright?" he asked as she wiped the blood with the back of her hand.

"Stay still if you won't fight!" she ordered, shaking the dust out of her short hair.

Link let out a sigh and knelt down to her level. "I know you want revenge for your brother but this isn't the way. Once you kill someone, you can never take it back. Their death will stay with you for the rest of your life. Every day you live, you'll see their death over and over and you'll feel guilt over taking someone else's life."

The girl scowled at him and lunged forward with her sword trying to stab him through the head. Link jumped backwards just in time and straightened up.

"Good." the girl said. "I don't want to forget it. I loved my brother and today is his birthday. He should be home right now eating cake and teasing me but he's not. He's dead. I'll never see him again."

Link could see the raw pain in the child's eyes and had to avert his gaze.

The girl took another shaky breath then charged Link, determination written across her face as she swung out the small blade. Again, Link side-stepped her and as she fell, he reached down and snatched the sword out of her hand. The girl hit the ground hard and before she could get up, Link gently placed a boot on her back holding her down.

"I'm sorry about your brother but please let go of this revenge." he said gently. "I have to live with what I've done and move on and someday you'll be able to too. Go home, your family is probably worried about you."

Link then took the short-sword and stabbed it into the ground beside the girl, pinning her to the ground by the shorts.

"If you yell, the gorons will be able to hear you and they'll let you go." he informed her. "Don't follow me, go home to your family."

The girl struggled uselessly against the sword but couldn't move an inch. She turned her head only to see Link disappearing down over the path and gave a yell of despair. Once he was gone, she slumped limply against the ground. Unable to help it, she covered her face and began to cry. She'd failed him.

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Sakon squinted into the pitch black cave but couldn't see a thing. "Are you sure this is the right cave? It smells funny."

The Postman, who was currently taking a torch out of his backpack, glanced over. "Smells funny?"

"Yeah. It smells like rotten meat. How do we know this isn't like some sort of redead mating cave or something?"

The Postman paused what he was doing and gave Sakon an indescribable look. "This is the right cave." he assured the thief, lighting the torch.

Sakon still looked uneasy. "You go first."

"Mr. Ganondorf warned that there would be traps so watch your step." The Postman warned as he entered the cave.

Sakon was quick to follow and wrinkled his nose at the rancid smell. "What is that?" he demanded. "Did something die in here?"

"That's a possibility. If there are traps, something could have wandered into one of them."

Sakon didn't like that thought either and peered over The Postman's shoulder as they walked, trying to see what was ahead. The cave seemed like an endless wall of rock with no nooks or tunnels for monsters to jump out at them from. They walked in silence for the better part of an hour and Sakon relaxed enough to walk beside The Postman when it became clear nothing was happening.

"Well, this is uneventful." Sakon commented, his voice echoing loudly in the cave.

The Postman said nothing, his eyes trained ahead. He had a feeling something very bad was ahead and was hoping whatever it was wouldn't notice them.

"So, what's the real deal with this sword we're stealing?" Sakon asked. "What's it do?"

The Postman gave a shrug. "I never asked; it's none of my business."

"It must be very boring inside your head." Sakon stated. "Hey! Look, a door!"

Sure enough, at the very end of the cave was a large wooden door which stood about ten feet high. They stopped in front of it and stared up at the door as the stench of the cave only grew stronger. Sakon placed a hand over his nose and exchanged a look with The Postman.

"Whatever's behind this door reeeeally stinks... I think you should open it."

Shifting the torch to his other hand, The Postman reached up for the door handle and turned it. As he pulled open the door, a blast of rancid air burst out through the crack, causing Sakon to gag and pull his shirt up over his nose. The Postman held the torch into the room and peered inside, freezing at what he saw. Sakon peeked around him to see what it was then promptly turned green and threw up. A large blobular mass of rotted flesh sat in the middle of the room which looked like it used to resemble a redead but now because it had eaten so much, it could only lay in a pile of its own excrement and rot.

"I didn't know redead could get fat!" Sakon whispered, still looking queasy. "Did you see the pile of bones around it? It must have eaten all the other redead plus anything else that came near it!"

The Postman could only stare.

"I bet this room was full of nasty monsters we would have had to fight! I bet whoever made this little pit of terrors didn't count on this turn of events!"

The Postman wasn't aware redead could have eating disorders and exchanged a look at Sakon who gave him a shrug. "

Is the sword in there with it?" he asked.

The Postman stepped into the room a few steps and swung the torch in an arc so he could see the whole room.

"Well?" Sakon demanded from the safety of the corridor.

"There's another door." The Postman informed him.

"Kill the redead while you're in there."

"No."

Sakon peered into the room again with another gag, not sure if the job was worth stepping foot into this room.

"Come on," The Postman urged. "I only have so many torches and I'm not sure how long it will take us to find the sword."

Both hands firmly over his nose, Sakon followed The Postman across the room, wondering if his nose would ever be the same again. The room was large and the piles of bones were enormous and both vaguely wondered how many monsters were originally in the room. They reached the door and were met with the sight of chains, locking the door securely shut.

"It's locked." The Postman stated.

"Thank you for that astute observation." Sakon said dryly. "Now what are we gonna do?"

The Postman's eyes shifted over to the redead who still hadn't moved. "One of the monsters must have had the key..."

Sakon backpedalled away from The Postman with a horrified look. "I am not digging through redead crap!"

The Postman seemed to be considering something for a moment as he stared at the redead then he said. "I'll tell you about the letter if you do."

Sakon crossed his arms. "No, not worth it."

"Just use a bone to poke through it."

"You do it because I'm sure as hell not!"

The Postman paused. "If you do it, I'll tell you where I found hidden treasure on death mountain."

"No way!...what kind of treasure?"

The Postman shrugged. "Rupees and jewellery mostly."

Sakon gave him a look of death. "If you're lying, I swear I'll feed you to this thing!"

The Postman held up his hand. "You have my word as a postman."

"You're not a postman." Sakon pointed out. "Swear it on your mother's life."

The Postman hesitated and Sakon's eyes widened.

"I knew it!" Sakon yelled. "Liar!"

"Alright fine," The Postman relented. "Can't you just pick the lock?"

This thought hadn't occurred to Sakon and he actually felt a bit embarrassed. "Oh...er...yeah, a little lock like this shouldn't be a problem."

Slipping off his backpack, he dug inside and pulled out his lockpicking tools then approached the door.

"Hold the torch so I can see." he ordered.

Doing as he was told, The Postman held the torch over Sakon as he worked, surprised when only seconds later there was the click of the lock and the chains fell away.

"Piece of cake, I could have done this one in my sleep!"

As The Postman opened the door, Sakon wrinkled his brow in thought. "Speaking of cake, isn't today your birthday?"

The Postman glanced over his shoulder. "No."

Sakon frowned. "Are you sure? I could have sworn you were born on the day of the fish festival because you always used to complain people would give you lousy gifts they bought at the fish-fair."

"It's not my birthday."

"Remember that time on one of your birthdays we stole a bunch of fish-heads and put them in your little sisters bed?" Sakon asked with a laugh. "You definitely got one to grow on that time! Your sister kept screaming they'd tried to bite her!"

The Postman said nothing as he stood in the doorway, looking away. He didn't often get to see his family, usually only on holidays or birthdays or the rare time he'd pass one of his siblings while on a delivery. He missed them but knew they couldn't know he was still alive. Sighing, The Postman held up the torch and entered the room, Sakon close on his heals. The second they were inside, the room seemed to explode in flame and The Postman instinctively threw himself to the floor pulling Sakon down with him.

Intense heat passed directly over them for several long minutes and when it finally ceased, both looked up at the smoke that now filled the room. Not moving, they scanned the room and saw the slits in the wall where the flames had come from.

"Let's not stand up." Sakon suggested as he very slowly began crawling across the room.

Flames instantly shot back out at the movement and both men very carefully crawled under the fire towards the next door.

"I don't like this room." Sakon commented. "I think my backpack's on fire. If the bombs explode, it'll get messy..."

"You carry bombs?" The Postman questioned. "Isn't that a bit dangerous?"

"I use them way more than you'd think." Sakon responded, grimacing at the extreme heat. "In a thief's life, sometimes things have to be blown up."

"Hurry up, I think your backpack is on fire."

Sakon scrambled as fast as he could to the door, the only area the flames didn't reach and stood to his feet, throwing the backpack to the ground and stomping on it. As The Postman also got to his feet they glanced at the locked door.

"It's a good thing you brought me or you'd be crawling all over this place looking for a key." Sakon stated, instantly getting to work on the lock.

The lock popped open and the chains fell to the floor and Sakon very cautiously opened the door. Grabbing the torch from The Postman, he peeked inside then visibly relaxed. Throwing the door open fully, he pointed triumphantly to another door, this one with so many locks across it, you could barely even see the wood of the door.

"I think I sense treasure behind that door!" Sakon announced proudly.

The Postman frowned. "Only two rooms?"

Sakon gave a shrug. "I assume whoever built this place thought no one could get past the monsters in the first room and if by miracle they did, that the fire of the second room would take care of them."

"Still seems easy."

"Meh, I like easy." Sakon replied approaching the door, lockpicks at the ready. "Time me, I bet I can get into this thing in under five minutes."

The Postman kept his gaze towards the doorway still feeling like the cave was too easy and Sakon began on the first lock. Lock after lock fell to the floor in quick succession and after a while Sakon paused to rub at a cramp in his hand.

"Wow, I haven't picked this many locks since that one kinky night I had in the Zora Domain..." he commented. "I hope my hand holds out."

"I'm very sure it will." The Postman stated without looking over.

Sakon shook his hand a few times then went back to popping lock after lock with an air of determination. As time went on, Sakon switched to his left hand and The Postman took a seat against the wall to watch him.

"I once picked a lock just like these." Sakon commented. "It was on a chastity belt."

"Whose? Yours?" The Postman asked.

"Ha ha, very funny, but yeah it actually was..." Sakon said, as another lock dropped to the floor. "I was working for this duke who had the prettiest daughter you've ever seen! He trusted her completely but not me so much after he caught me feeling her up. He thought a chastity belt would take care of that problem but little did he know I had that thing off within an hour. I stole the dukes treasure, his horse and his daughters virginity. A job well done if I say so myself."

The last lock popped off and Sakon tried to shake the feeling back into his fingers as The Postman stood back to his feet.

"Well, come on, let's go get this stupid sword." Sakon said, pushing open the door.

The room was small and without decoration, the only piece of furniture, a small table where a long bundle lay wrapped. Both men approached and looked down at the bundle which was definitely sword shaped. The Postman reached forward and picked it up, the weight feeling right for a sword. Pulling aside the wrappings a bit, they both stared at the beautiful gold and gem encrusted sword in awe.

"I've never seen anything like it..." Sakon stated. "That sword alone has to be worth a kingdom..."

The Postman quickly covered the sword back up and turned towards the door. "We have to get this back to Mr. Ganondorf."

"Yes." Sakon agreed from behind him, as he slowly drew his dagger. "We wouldn't want to be late..."

Before The Postman even realized what had happened, Sakon used the hilt of the dagger to club him from behind. The Postman hit the floor hard and Sakon stood over him, his expression mixed.

"Sorry, but a villain is a villain, right?" he whispered, kneeling down to take the sword. "You can't take these things personal."

Sakon then took The Postman's backpack and torch and left the room which was instantly enveloped in darkness.

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**AuthorNote:**

**Wow, this was a long chapter and I didn't know if I'd finish it by today! Sakon finally shows just how much of an arse he really is in this chapter and now he's created even more work for The Postman! **

**Please R&R as it makes my day when I know someone has enjoyed one of my chapters. As always I'm always open to suggestions or ideas. ^.^**


	11. Demon in the Tunnels

**Edit:**

**Authornote:**

**Sorry guys, had to repost the last two chapters because i realized keeps erasing the spacing between scenes. New chapter should be up on saturday.  
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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

**Demon in the Tunnels**

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The first thing The Postman became aware of was a blinding pain in his skull and he let out a low groan. Rolling over, he reached up a hand and touched the back of his head, his mind still woozy and not comprehending why he was in pain. Letting out another, louder groan, his eyes cracked open to see nothing. Blinking heavily a few times, he slowly sat up, rubbing the lump on the back of his skull. He glanced all around himself but could see absolutely nothing, the room blanketed completely in darkness. He sat in confusion for a moment or two before his mind cleared enough for him to realize what had happened.

The Postman supposed Sakon's betrayal didn't come completely as a surprise; Ganondorf had even assumed he'd turn on them but it still stung. He hadn't thought Sakon would go so far as to draw a weapon on him. Sighing, The Postman felt around himself for his backpack but quickly realized it was gone when his fingers met the stone floor. Frowning, The Postman felt around for the torch and found that gone as well.

Sighing heavily, he felt his way towards the door and then through the small room towards the fire-room. Once he found the doorway, he dropped down to his stomach and began crawling. Instantly streams of flame lit up the room and The Postman winced at the brightness and squinted in discomfort as he slowly made his way to the next door. He was still a bit dizzy and the heat of the fire definitely wasn't helping and it took The Postman a lot longer to reach the door than it should have. Once there, the fire abruptly stopped and once again he was bathed in darkness. As he leant against the doorway, the rancid smell of the redead wafted through the door, causing him to pause a moment. He'd have to navigate around the redead in the dark...

The Postman had a perfect memory when it came to places he'd been and he remembered the layout of the redead's room but still wasn't keen on being in the dark with it. He opened the door and immediately heard the sound of crunching and slurping coming from the centre of the room. Dread rising in him, he really hoped it wasn't Sakon the redead was munching on...

Stepping into the room with a grimace, the door closed after The Postman with a click. Knowing he had to find out one way or another, he very slowly began edging towards the redead. Although redead could see in the dark, it didn't seem to even notice he was in the room as it didn't pause what it was doing.

The crunching and slurping noises now directly beside him, The Postman hesitantly reached out his hand. His fingers met fur and he instantly relaxed realizing it was a wolfos. As he pulled back his hand, the redead moved slightly and he brushed up against it, its skin hard and somewhat slimy. The slurping immediately stopped. Sensing he was now being stared at, The Postman chanced a tiny step backwards. Immediately, there was a loud screech which morphed itself into a gurgle as the redead spotted him. He froze in place but it was too late. There was a meaty thud, the sound of nails scraping across the stone floor then the definite sound of something incredibly heavy dragging itself towards him.

Backpedalling as fast as he could, he ran for where he knew the door was just as he felt fingers graze his arm. Once in the safety of the hallway, The Postman let out a deep breath as the redead gargled and screamed in anger at its escaped meal.

As he walked along, his fingers trailing the wall of the hallway, he wondered how long he'd been unconscious. Sakon would likely be hours ahead of him but The Postman knew he was a lot faster than the thief. He'd have to catch up to him before the thief made it back to Hyrule and hid the sword or sold it.

Although The Postman knew the hallway was pretty much straight the whole way back outside, he kept a hand to the wall, the blindness making him uncomfortable. He walked for the better part of an hour before he finally saw sunlight in the far distance. Speeding up, the light got brighter and brighter and he winced but didn't slow down. When he stepped out of the tunnel a moment later, he raised a hand to shield his eyes and squinted as he glanced around. Sakon was nowhere to be seen.

It was now late in the day, the sun just beginning to dip below the horizon and The Postman knew Sakon had quite a head-start on him. It was before noon when they'd entered the cave and to get past the rooms took less than two hours so that meant he'd been unconscious for six to eight hours.

Sakon had left him without food or water but The Postman wasn't concerned about that. His only thoughts were of the sword the thief now possessed. He'd gone without water before while on urgent deliveries so a day or so wouldn't be anything new.

Gazing in the direction he knew Sakon had gone, he frowned. He had a lot of ground to cover if he were to catch up with the thief so he took a deep breath then began to run.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Sakon lounged in front of his campfire comfortably, inspecting the gold and jewels of the sword by the firelight admiringly. Every sort of gem he could imagine was set in the beautiful scabbard and he ran his fingers over it lovingly. So sparkly, so pretty and so very valuable. He could easily sell it to any royal or wealthy merchant of his choice. No one would turn down such an item! Once he sold it, he'd be set for life and could disappear into obscurity.

Sakon was no fool and he knew Ganondorf would be after his head the moment the betrayal was discovered but he was sure he could outwit the Gerudo. If worse came to worse he could just hide out for a few years out of the country.

Reaching for the bottle next to him, Sakon took a long satisfying drink of wine and gazed out across the dark wastelands thoughtfully. Several wolfos were howling in the distance but other than that, the night was eerily silent. He wondered briefly what had happened to The Postman but quickly pushed those thoughts aside, deciding it was better not to think about it. No time to feel guilty, he had more important things to worry about. Taking one last swig of wine, he set the bottle down and leaned back in his bedroll, watching the campfire flicker.

Sakon gave a lazy stretch, sleepy from drinking a bit too much, and pulled his blanket over himself. As he fell asleep, the sword remained clutched tightly to his chest.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The Postman had run most of his life and had the stamina to prove it. He ran the whole night at a steady pace, the coolness of the night air only invigorating him. He'd passed several monsters as he crossed the wastelands but none paid him any mind. If he'd been different in almost every way, if he'd been a tall, strong hero wielding a sword then they would have seen him but he was none of those things and therefore unimportant. Since he was practically invisible to others, he wasn't stopped or questioned in any way.

It was a little after dawn when he saw the smoke from Sakon's fire. The black smoke rose in the air like twisted tendrils, standing out vividly in the blue sky. He quickly ran down the hill towards the camp, hoping the thief was still there.

When he made it to the campsite, there was no sign of Sakon, the thief already long gone. The Postman knelt down beside the fire and saw it wasn't completely out yet, the embers still red. He knew Sakon couldn't have gotten too far and straightened up. Now determined, The Postman continued on his way, forcing himself to run faster and faster.

Sakon was sick of walking and carrying two backpacks definitely wasn't helping. His shoulders were hurting and he was hot and sticky and just wanted to sit down. He was almost to the mountain passage and was hoping it'd be cooler in there. As he rested a moment on the hill overlooking the passage, he stretched and looked off across the wasteland. Seeing something running in the distance, he promptly did a double-take at the strange creature hurtling across the wasteland towards him. Squinting in its direction, he then swore under his breath when he saw who it was.

"Should've tied him up..." Sakon muttered, quickly grabbing up the bags and running for the passage.

The Postman was running after him at a much greater speed and Sakon barely made it to the door in time. He slammed it hard in The Postman's face then took that opportunity to run headlong into the tunnels. The Postman pushed open the door, rubbing at a bloody nose and just caught sight of Sakon's leg as he disappeared into the tunnels. Out of breath, he puffed a moment, then took chase. The thief was making as many random twists and turns as he could to try and lose him but The Postman followed right after.

"You're going the wrong way." The Postman yelled up to him.

"Shut up!" Sakon bellowed back. "It's mine! You're not getting it!"

The Postman was unbelievably annoyed with the thief and let out a sigh of irritation. "Sakon, stop." he ordered. "You know you can't outrun me. You don't even know where you're going!"

Sakon flashed him a dirty look and turned down another tunnel. "I'm not giving it back! I stole it fair and square! You'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers!"

The Postman narrowed his eyes slightly, then sped up and lunged himself at Sakon in a fierce tackle. The thief hit the floor hard with a loud grunt of pain and The Postman grabbed a hold of the sword in an attempt to wrench it out of his grasp. Sakon held on and gave The Postman a hard boot for his troubles, knocking him away. The Postman was quick to recover and grabbed a hold of the sword again before Sakon could scramble back to his feet. Sakon scowled at The Postman and tried to yank the sword away to no avail.

"Let go, you stupid oaf! It's mine!"

The Postman shook his head. "We were asked to bring the sword to Mr. Ganondorf and that's what I'm going to do."

"Why are you so pathetic? This sword is worth a fortune! If it was sold, you'd live like a king!"

"No thank you." The Postman said, yanking even harder.

"Let go you stupid-"

A loud snarl from above interrupted Sakon and both men froze in place then slowly looked up. Both paled at what they saw and Sakon released his hold on the sword and began to carefully back away. The demon that stood over them was like nothing they'd ever seen, looking like it had torn its way out of someone's nightmare.

The monster was enormous, covered in black scales and it filled the tunnel like some sort of disgusting cork. It shivered as it focussed its six eyes on the two men and slowly uncurled long, sticky tentacles. It began crawling towards them, its spindly spider-like legs scraping across the stone floor.

Sakon continued to slowly retreat and felt his back hit the wall of the tunnel. He began to edge along it, hoping the demon wouldn't notice.

The Postman remained in place, sword held limply at his side, instinctively knowing this wasn't the type of monster to ignore him. One of the demon's heads was staring directly at him, its face a mass of wrinkles and spikes while the other head focussed entirely on Sakon.

Sakon stared at the monster's dripping fangs in horror, gave a twitch then turned tail and ran. As quick as lightening, the demon lashed out with a tentacle and grabbed Sakon around the waist before he'd even taken five steps. The thief pulled out his dagger and stabbed it down into the tentacle and the monster let out a roar of pain but didn't release him. As it dragged the kicking and screaming Sakon towards it, the thief turned desperate eyes to The Postman.

"Help me!" he cried, his eyes wide with panic. "I'm sorry! Don't let it eat me! Don't let it eat me! Please, please, please help me!"

Sakon clawed at the ground in desperation and as he passed by, The Postman jumped out and caught him by the hand. Digging his heals into the ground, The Postman tugged against the monster, slowing the pull but not stopping it. Both the heads narrowed their eyes then it tugged all the harder, easily dragging both men towards it. When they were close enough, both were lifted into the air by various tentacles and pulled away from one another.

Sakon's eyes were wild with fear and he stabbed and stabbed at the tentacle in a blind panic. The heads gave a curious sniff to the thief then quickly withdrew as Sakon lashed out.

Sakon, swung the dagger uselessly at the nearest head, and with one hard swat from a tentacle, the dagger was flung easily out of his grasp. The demon gave a mighty heave of the tentacle throwing him high into air and Sakon felt his stomach lurch and his eyes burn as he was flung upwards. He then began falling downwards towards the open jaws of the demon as it waited for the thief to fall to his demise. Sakon plummeted face down, large curved teeth getting closer and closer as he fell, the demon's throat looking like the gateway to Hell. Absolutely terrified beyond thought for the first time in his life, Sakon screamed and screamed. Then the jaws snapped closed on him.

The Postman could only watch in horror, unable to move and unable to help his partner. "Sakon..."

The Postman went limp in the demon's hold, watching as the two heads licked their lips. The monster then turned its attention to him and seemed to be appraising him in an almost calculating way. The Postman felt numb as the demon looked him over, unable to believe Sakon was actually dead.

The demon's first head leaned forward and gave him a deep sniff then instantly wrinkled its nose and pulled away. It stared at The Postman a long moment then surprised him by speaking.

"You reek of magic," it stated in distaste, its voice surprisingly feminine. "Is that you I smell or an item you carry?"

The monster's lips never moved as it spoke but the words still clearly rang throughout the tunnel. The Postman took a deep breath of fear as the demon gave him another disgusted sniff then glanced over at the head that had eaten Sakon.

"You smell of a strange magic, a very old magic. Where did you get this magic from?" the demon asked him.

The Postman simply stared at it and gave a slight squirm.

The monster frowned at him in a sort of lizardy way then asked. "Can you not speak, man-creature?"

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, The Postman forced himself into the calm state of mind he used whenever confronted with horrible monsters. "I apologize, ma'am," The Postman said hesitantly. "Yes, I can speak."

The monster gave him a long hard look for a moment then said. "I've seen you several times before, man-creature, you run through my tunnels without permission."

The Postman gave another squirm. "I didn't know I had to ask permission, ma'am, I thought the tunnels were abandoned. I'm terribly sorry for the trespassing."

The demon shifted its hold on him and lifted him a bit higher so she could look him in the face. "You're very polite for someone I may or may not decide to eat." she stated. "Why is that?"

The Postman hesitated a moment then replied. "I would rather you didn't eat me, but I'm not going to be rude to you. I wouldn't imagine it would help my case."

The demon cocked both of her heads curiously. "Why do you smell of magic? You don't look like a sorcerer."

The Postman gave a shrug causing the monster to narrow her eyes at him.

"I don't like when my questions aren't answered, little man-creature; I'm very old and don't have the patience for it."

"Oh...it's probably the sword I have," The Postman answered. "It may be magic but it was none of my business to ask."

She stared at the sword a long moment. "That's the object you and the bald man were fighting over." she commented. "You two woke me up from my hibernation again. You always wake me up."

"I assure you, that wasn't our intention." The Postman said. "We were just passing through your tunnels and...we had a bit of a disagreement."

"Every time you step foot in my tunnel you wake me up, man-creature. Sound is amplified down here and I've had enough. If you weren't such a fast creature, I would have stopped you long ago."

"I apologize, ma'am, I didn't realize." The Postman said, hoping he sounded genuine. "This is the fastest path to the forbidden zone and I've been using the tunnels as a shortcut."

The demon gave him an annoyed look and tightened her grip on him. "These are my tunnels. I was placed here long ago to protect the secrets on the other side. You're not supposed to be here at all."

The Postman glanced over at the second head which was snapping its teeth in agitation. "In my own defence, I had no way of knowing that. You should post a sign or something..."

The demon let out a snort. "I haven't had to worry about trespassers in over 1000 years, you're the only one who's a repeat offender."

"Sorry."

The Postman gave the second head another nervous glance, it's huge fangs making him uncomfortable.

The monster eyed him then said. "You can stop staring at me like that, man-creature, the bald one isn't dead yet. I still haven't decided what to do with the two of you."

The Postman was shocked and relieved. "Sakon's still alive? How? You ate him!"

The monster rolled her eyes as if it was a stupid question. "He's only in my first stomach at the moment. He probably still has a few minutes before he suffocates." she explained without interest. "He was annoying and I wanted to leave an impression on him."

The Postman winced and glanced at her stomach. "I imagine you have, ma'am, but what are you planning on doing with us?"

The demon seemed thoughtful for a minute. "I'm not sure yet. I'm terribly old and grouchy but I've sort of lost my zest for blood over the years. I just want to sleep these days."

The Postman gave her nod to show he was listening intently.

"Why should I let you live?" the demon asked.

"If you let us go, I promise we'll never bother you again..."

The monster leaned back against the wall of the tunnel, holding The Postman directly in front of her. "I could just eat you and never be bothered by you again." she pointed out.

"I really wish you wouldn't..."

She seemed amused by his response and gave a toothy grin. "You're a very strange little man-creature. You have a sword but haven't even tried to use it. Why is that?"

"I don't kill."

"You'd never be able to kill me anyway." she said dismissively. "You'd have lost your arm before the first swing."

The Postman nodded, believing her completely. "Why do you still protect the tunnels when the wizard on the other side is long dead?"

"Is he dead?" the demon wondered out loud. "I suppose he must be; men don't live very long, they're mere children to ancient demons such as myself."

"If the sorcerer is dead, why don't you leave?" The Postman asked. "There's a whole world outside of these tunnels."

The demon shook her heads, amused. "This is my home and I'm far too old and tired for new adventures. This will be the place I'll die." she informed him. "I just want to sleep in peace."

"I don't want to die here and I know Sakon doesn't either. Our adventures aren't over yet, they've barely begun.. We don't belong here."

She stared at The Postman as she considered his words then let out an exasperated sigh. "I will make a deal with you, man-creature. Take that vile magic far away from my tunnels, never return here and I will permit you to live."

The Postman hurriedly nodded. "Yes ma'am, we'll leave right away. Thank you."

The demon shifted slightly and placed a claw on her stomach. "The bald one has stopped moving, he might have already suffocated. Did you still want him?"

"Yes, please," The Postman answered, suddenly feeling apprehensive. "Please don't eat him."

The demon didn't seem to care either way and gave a shrug. Bending her second head close to the floor, she began to hack and retch, sounding much like a cat bringing up a hairball. She made a wet, squelchy gag then a moment later spat Sakon onto the floor.

Sakon was covered in a thick layer of saliva and yellowish-green slime which had to have been stomach acid. He immediately began coughing and gasping for air as the demon gently set The Postman down next to him. The Postman knelt down next to Sakon and pulled off the other man's backpack as the thief wept in pure fear, shivering uncontrollably and curling into a small ball of misery. The Postman dug inside the backpack a moment then pulled out a blanket and wrapped it around Sakon's shoulders.

Sakon was pale and wide-eyed and he clutched the blanket to himself with shaking hands. The Postman quickly looked him over but found he was fine in the physical sense, although obviously traumatized.

"It ate me!" he whispered in a frantic voice. "It ate me!"

"Don't be so dramatic," the demon scolded him. "You're perfectly alright."

Sakon fell silent and simply stared up at her in complete terror, his mouth slightly agape.

"If I catch you in my tunnels again, I will eat you." she warned, turning to leave. "Take your friend and leave, little man-creature. Consider this a warning."

"Thank you, ma'am," The Postman said as she slithered her way down the tunnel. "We won't return."

Sakon stared at The Postman completely dumbfounded then watched as the monster disappeared entirely from view. When they were alone, Sakon pulled the blanket more tightly around himself then averted his gaze from The Postman who was seated next to him. He was silent for a while then nudged his backpack towards The Postman.

"There's a full canteen of water in there," he stated. "You look like you need it."

The Postman didn't say a word but did reach in and take the canteen. As he drank, Sakon gave him a sidelong glance.

"Why did you save me?" Sakon asked uncertainly. "Not that I'm complaining or anything but I did kind of leave you to rot in that cave..."

The Postman took another long drink before answering. "I may be angry with you, but I don't want you dead." he stated. "You were my friend once even if you have changed."

"Oh." Sakon replied awkwardly. "Well thanks..."

The Postman dropped the empty canteen into the backpack and stood to his feet, picking up his own backpack. "Come on, I still have to get this sword to Mr. Ganondorf. We've wasted enough time."

Sakon slumped. "He'll kill me when you tell him what I tried to do..."

The Postman didn't deny that he'd tell Ganondorf and looked away. "You'd better run then."

Sakon gave The Postman a pathetic look and slowly got to his feet, slime dripping off of him. "Yeah, I guess there's places I could hide for a while..."

Sakon followed after The Postman in silence, looking positively miserable and played with the handle of the torch as they walked along. He shot the occasional glance at the sword now attached to The Postman's belt but decided to leave well enough alone. If he dared tried to steal it a second time, The Postman would likely plow him in the face with it.

The Postman flashed Sakon a glare when he caught him staring at the sword and put a hand protectively over the hilt. No words were spoken at all during the walk through the maze of tunnels and when they came to the entrance into the Goron shop, The Postman stopped to put on his mask. Sakon gave him an uncertain look, took a deep breath then poked his head into the Goron shop to see if the coast was clear. The store was empty for the moment and he relaxed and stepped out.

"You go first," Sakon whispered pointing to the door. "The gorons seem to like you."

The Postman gave him a hard look. "Don't make yourself suspicious this time. Pretend you don't see the gorons and walk right by them."

"Easy for you to say," Sakon muttered. "You're wimpy and pathetic and no one could be bothered killing you!"

The Postman didn't bother answering him, instead leaving the shop in a casual walk and crossed the bottom floor of the goron city, Sakon close at his heals. It was an unusually hot day and the gorons were all sprawled out across the cool rocky floor, sleepy and content. As they passed the gorons by, they were hardly spared a glance, the gorons much too lazy at the moment to really consider them. Sakon practically hung off The Postman as they went up floor after floor, and he eyed the gorons nervously, sure they were going to recognize him. They passed through the city almost as if they were invisible and when they finally reached the door leaving the city, Sakon let out a breath of relief.

The Postman still wasn't looking at Sakon as he started down Death Mountain trail and the thief gave him an uncertain look, not really knowing what to say.

"Uh, I'd just like to say I'm sorry for hitting you over the head and leaving you to die a horrible death in that cave...I shouldn't have done it."

The Postman glanced over his shoulder at him but still said nothing.

Sakon continued with a grimace. "You were always a good friend; it was me that made a mess of things. You always took the brunt of the blame for our schemes and I understand why you cut off our friendship."

"I have to get going." The Postman said, still not looking at him.

"Yeah, but you be careful with Ganondorf, he can't be trusted."

The Postman let out a sigh. "Watch out for yourself, Sakon." he said. "Your list of enemies is getting long."

Sakon gave a nod knowing The Postman hadn't forgiven him and wondered if he ever would. "I am sorry." he stated.

"I'm giving the sword to Ganondorf and I won't lie if he asks me about you."

"Understood. I'll stay clear of Hyrule for a while."

The Postman met Sakon's eyes for a moment then The Postman turned and sped up into a run. As Sakon watched him go, he frowned, genuinely hoping everything would work itself out for his old friend.

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><p>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXx<p>

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><p><strong>Authornote:<strong>

**Another long chapter! Phew! Sorry for the delay everyone but I just started my new job and am not sure how fast I'll be able to get up the next chapter. I'll hopefully be able to get it out on the weekend.**

**Yeah, so I'm not overly fond of this chapter and am thinking about rewriting it. I know several of you are probably disappointed The Postman didn't punch Sakon in the face but he's a pretty easygoing guy! It would take a lot to get him angry enough to do something like that! LOL**

**Please remember to R&R everyone! I got such lovely reviews last chapter, it really brightened my day! ^.^**


	12. Family Ties

**How to be a Villain**

**Family Ties**

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><p>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<p>

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><p>Link let out a deep sigh of irritation and dismounted Epona. Stroking her head for a moment, he took the reins then led her towards Hyrule Town. He'd searched everywhere he could think of for Darunia, but there was no sign of him. He knew by now, the Zoras would be patrolling the waters but he needed the Gorons to keep an eye on the mountains. Without Darunia's orders, the Gorons wouldn't make a move. Nothing seemed to be going right for him and he hoped his slow preparations wouldn't mean Hyrule's defeat.<p>

Stopping at the main gate to Hyrule Town, he gave another sigh and petted Epona distractedly. He'd have to come up with an alternate plan just in case he couldn't find Darunia. As he turned to enter town, he didn't see the small postgirl behind him slowly drawing her short-sword.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Postman slowed down to a jog as he made his way down the stairs from Kakariko Village. Feeling a bit lightheaded from lack of sleep, he rubbed at his eyes. He was eager to have this mission over with and was looking forward to food and bed once he got back to the Gerudo Valley.

As he crossed the bridge and started across Hyrule field, he barely spared the two figures in front of the castle gate a look. Just as he went to pass them, he paused and glanced back at the small child dressed in white.

Squinting a moment, his eyes widened when he immediately recognized his sister. She was standing behind The Hero of Time, teeth clenched and sword raised for the kill. The Postman paled as memories of Link stabbing him flashed before his eyes, his mind putting his sister in his place at the end of the hero's sword. The vision of his baby sister brutally stabbed and dying sending him into a craze, he ran faster than he'd ever run before, trying to reach her in time.

The small postgirl narrowed her eyes at Link and licked her lips anxiously. Clenching the sword tightly in her hand, she took a deep breath and charged.

"Heeeeyaaaa!" she screamed, pouncing directly at Link, sword pointed for the kill.

Every time Link stepped foot in Hyrule field monsters flocked to attack him, so when he heard the footsteps and yell from behind, he instinctively drew his sword and slashed out without even thinking about it.

The Postman reached the girl just as Link swung around, grabbed her by the shirt and yanked her out of the way, the sword grazing him hard across the shoulder. He grimaced at the pain and shoved his sister behind him, the girl immediately screaming and struggling to get away. Eyeing Link warily, he began slowly backing away.

Link stared at the child then his sword, completely horrified at what he'd almost done. If he'd been just one second faster, he would have killed her. Turning his eyes to the girl's saviour, he frowned when he recognized the Gerudo from the other day. The Gerudo still had her hands firmly on the postgirl and clearly had no intention of letting go. Forcing himself to push away his shock, Link went into hero-mode, sure the Gerudo wasn't up to any good.

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, wondering what the Gerudo wanted with a child. The girl was screaming and fighting to get away and Link knew he wouldn't let the Gerudo take her. Link eased himself into a stance and held out his sword threateningly.

"Hand over the girl." he ordered.

The Postman's eyes widened and he held on all the more tightly, backing up another few steps.

"I said, give her to me!" Link snarled, following after them.

The Postman felt a wild panic fill him and he held on even tighter, causing the girl to wince. He continued backing up and felt his breathing speed up. Link wanted to kill his sister! He was going to kill a child! He knew she'd attacked the hero but she didn't deserve to die! He wouldn't allow it.

"Let me go!" the girl screamed, kicking him in the shin. "Let go, you stupid desert rat!"

The Postman didn't even hear her, his attention fully on Link who was stalking towards them. Link had already taken his very existence away from him and he wouldn't allow him to take his baby sister as well.

"One chance to let her go, then I'm attacking." Link warned him, sword at the ready. "I don't want to have to hurt you, just give me the girl!"

The Postman gave a shake of the head and backed up another step.

"Fine, you've made your decision." Link informed him, still approaching.

As the hero held his sword up to attack, The Postman's hand instinctively found the hilt of his own sword. Link charged him, weapon posed for the kill and in a blind panic, The Postman drew his sword and swung at Link, the hero easily blocking it. There was a clash of steel and immediately there was a bright flash of yellow. Both were momentarily blinded as there was a loud sizzle and Link was thrown backwards with a cry of pain. He hit the ground hard and laid stunned, grimacing in pain.

The Postman stared at the glowing sword in shock then down at Link. The hero was a bit singed but didn't seem to be hurt too badly. He glanced around a bit uncertainly as he sheathed the sword, not sure what to do. His sister was fighting against him like a wildcat and he knew he had to get her to safety before the hero came to. His eyes fell on Epona and he instantly knew what he had to do.

Approaching, he lifted his sister onto the horse then mounted behind her. Then, staring down at Link with a frown, The Postman reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter. As he turned the horse to leave, he dropped the letter onto Link's chest.

Link slowly sat up ina daze just in time to see The Postman ride off on his horse. Jumping to his feet, he stared after them in both shock and anger. The Gerudo had just kidnapped a child and stolen his horse! Link's expression darkened. Now it was personal.

The Gerudo had used some sort of magical sword and he was sure it was part of their plan. Sheathing his sword with a scowl, his eyes fell on the letter by his feet. Kneeling down to pick it up, he saw his name on the front. Frowning in suspicion, he tore into it and began to read.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Let me go! Let go, let go, let go!" the postgirl screamed, thrashing in his hold. "Put me down!"

The Postman struggled to hold the girl on the horse as she wrestled and kicked with all her might. She was twisting and squirming in his hold and The Postman was having a hard time keeping a grip on her.

"Stop!" she bellowed at the top of her voice. "Put me down, you stupid desert rat! Put. Me. Down!"

She began beating her fists on his chest and he almost dropped her when she attemtped to bite him.

"Minoko, stop it!" he ordered, getting a bit annoyed. "I'm not kidnapping you!"

His sister instantly stilled then slowly looked up at him. She stared into his eyes behind the mask then let out a gasp.

"B-brother?"

The Postman gave a nod as he slowed down the horse to a walk.

Minoko bit her lip uncertainly then reached up to remove his mask. He allowed it and when it was off and saw it was truly her brother, she let out another, louder gasp. There was a moments hesitation then she gave an ecstatic yell and threw her arms around his neck in a bone-crushing hug.

"Everyone thinks you're dead!" she exclaimed, grinning at him happily. "I thought you were dead! I didn't think I'd ever see you again!"

The Postman said nothing as he stared across the fields. So everyone did think he was dead as he'd suspected. Did Link tell them he'd turned 'evil' before his death or did anyone even know about the fight? How much did everyone know about what happened?

He was brought back to reality when Minoko punched him hard in the ribs. When he looked down at her, she was scowling at him.

"I thought you were dead." she repeated, angrily. "That was a mean trick."

"I'm sorry, Minoko." The Postman said softly. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone but it had to be that way."

"Why?" she demanded.

The Postman looked away. "I can't tell you that; it's a long story."

"You made mama cry." she stated crossing her arms. "Everybody's real sad."

The Postman winced guiltily.

Minoko let out a sigh then gave him another, tighter hug. "It's okay, they won't care when they find out you're alive."

The Postman frowned, wondering what his family would say once they found out the whole situation. Pushing the thoughts aside, he looked down at his sister.

"What were you thinking, trying to kill The Hero of Time?" he demanded. "You could have died!"

"I thought he killed you." she said with a glower. "I was avenging you!"

"You're nine." The Postman pointed out.

"So? That doesn't mean I don't love my brother!"

Sighing, The Postman looked her up and down. "Is that one of my hats you're wearing?"

Minoko touched the brim of the hat. "...maybe?" she answered hesitantly. "I may have borrowed a few things from the attic..."

The Postman reached down and touched her uneven short brown hair with a frown. "What did you do to your hair?" he demanded. "Does mum know you did that?"

"I needed to cut it!" Minoko said with a pout. "It was too long and got in the way!"

The Postman let out another sigh. "I have to drop off something important then I'm taking you home." he stated. "You shouldn't be here; it's too dangerous."

"Yeah." Minoko agreed without enthusiasm.

"How long have you been away anyway?"

Minoko looked away. "A few days..." she answered then winced as a thought occurred to her. "I'm going to be in so much trouble..."

The Postman raised an eyebrow. "Definitely." he agreed.

"Ah, shoot."

The Postman simply shook his head. Epona crossed the bridge to Gerudo Valley and he finally relaxed, knowing his sister would be safe here. Even Link couldn't find the Gerudo City so he wouldn't have to worry about looking over his shoulder every second.

When they approached the Gerudo Fortress, a large group of Gerudos stopped them and pointed their spears threateningly at Minoko.

"Who's that?" a Gerudo demanded. "No one is to go in or out of the city without express permission from King Ganondorf."

Another Gerudo nodded in agreement. "You can't bring the boy in, he'll have to stay outside of Gerudo territory."

Minoko scowled and crossed her arms.

"This is my sister." The Postman explained.

The Gerudos instantly lowered their spears and exchanged a look with one another.

"Your sister?" one questioned.

"Yes, miss. She's only nine and won't be any trouble."

The Gerudos demeanor seemed to change as they visibly relaxed and whispered in a group for a moment. When they looked up, one nodded with a shrug.

"Alright, she can come in, but you're taking the blame."

The Postman nodded and as he passed the Gerudos, Minoko stuck out her tongue at them, earning her an elbow from her brother. She gave him a cheeky grin but did stop antagonising the Gerudos.

When they entered the city a few minutes later, Minoko's eyes widened in delight and she smiled up at The Postman.

"It's beautiful!" she exclaimed. "Is this where you've been living?"

"Yes," The Postman answered, bringing Epona to a stop.

He dismounted then lifted Minoko to the ground, looking around the crowded streets thoughtfully. Pointing towards a large group of small girls playing ball, he said

"Go play for a while, I have something I need to take care of. I'll be back soon."

Minoko looked over to the children then gave her brother an uncertain look, not sure whether to obey or insist on staying with him. The game did look fun and when the ball rolled over towards them, that was all the motivation she needed. She kicked the ball back to them and ran to join in the game.

The Postman watched her a moment, making sure everything was okay then turned and headed towards the castle. The Gerudos were well used to him now and none even looked at him as he walked up the castle stairs. When he reached the throne room, loud yelling could be heard and he hesitated.

"YOU'RE ALL INCOMPETENT FOOLS!" Ganondorf's voice boomed out. "I SHOULD HAVE THE LOT OF YOU STRUNG UP!"

Reaching out cautiously, The Postman gave a loud knock to the door.

There was a loud string of curses and The Postman shifted slightly.

"WHAT?" Ganondorf bellowed. "I'm busy! What do you want?"

The Postman hesitated again, then slowly pushed open the door and peeked inside. Ganondorf was seated on his throne, scowl in place as a group of moblins stood in front of him, cowering. When Ganondorf saw The Postman, his expression shifted from anger to annoyance instantly.

"Didn't I send you to steal a sword for me?" he demanded.

"Yes, sir." The Postman replied. "I'm back."

Ganondorf raised an eyebrow. "Already? You only left two days ago."

"I took a shortcut, sir."

"Indeed? I wasn't aware of a shortcut to the forbidden district. Interesting."

When The Postman still didn't move from the door, Ganondorf gave him a 'look'. "Well, what are you waiting for, postman?" he snapped. "Get in here!"

The Postman slipped inside and as he removed the sword from his belt, Ganondorf watched him intently. He crossed the room, pushing his way through the moblins and held out the sword Ganondorf. The Gerudo King accepted it eagerly and as he looked it over, gave a malicious grin.

"Excellent." he stated. "Good work, postman. This is the type of results I expect from my minions."

Ganondorf flashed the moblins a meaningful look and they shrunk back in fear.

"Where's the thief?" Ganondorf demanded, setting the sword on his lap. "Why hasn't he returned with you?"

"He didn't wish to return with me as he knew you'd likely kill him." The Postman responded.

Ganondorf leaned back in his throne and gave The Postman a knowing look. "Is that so?" he asked lightly. "And why was that?"

"It was because he betrayed you, sir and tried to steal the sword. I had to stop him."

"And you're not lying for your friend?" Ganondorf asked.

"No, sir. He made his decision and I won't lie for him."

Ganondorf seemed amused and gave him a smirk. He looked The Postman up and down then his gaze settled on the floor.

"You're bleeding on my floor, postman."

The Postman looked down at the drops of blood on the floor then put a hand up to his shoulder.

"Sorry, sir."

"Are you going to explain that to me or am I to assume it was a failed suicide attempt?"

"I ran into The Hero of Time." The Postman said simply, no other explanation needed.

"Damn it." Ganondorf muttered. "I told you not to be seen!"

"Sorry, sir."

Ganondorf glowered a moment then asked. "Did he see the sword?"

"...yes, sir. I'm sure he saw it very well..."

Ganondorf cursed angrily and the moblins cowered even further away.

"Now that 'boy' definitely knows we're up to something!" Ganondorf snarled. "I haven't quite finished setting up the temples and he could ruin everything!"

The Postman shifted slightly but kept his expression neutral as Ganondorf vented. When he was finished, he fixed The Postman with a glare.

"Go get that shoulder looked after." he ordered. "I want you ready in case you're needed."

"If you don't mind, sir, there's something I need to take care of in Termina."

Ganondorf shook his head. "You not going anywhere right now. The hero could be on his way right this minute and no one is leaving Gerudo territory."

"But, sir-"

"No. You're to stay here." Ganondorf interrupted him.

"But, sir, I really need to-"

"I said NO, postman." Ganondorf snapped, getting annoyed. "You will do as you're told!"

Frowning, The Postman gave a nod. "Yes, sir."

"Good, now get out." Ganondorf ordered, throwing him a small pouch of rupees. "I have business to take care of."

Still frowning, The Postman turned around and left without a word. Not sure what to do about Minoko, he let out a sigh and headed towards the infirmary.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link read the letter then looked up in confusion. This letter was from Darunia, obviously the one he'd sent a few days ago and wasn't sure where it had come from. Did the little postgirl deliver it to him perhaps? That would explain why she was on Death Mountain after all.

The postgirl was a prisoner of the Gerudos now and Link realized he'd have to inform her family about this. Hating the fact he'd be the one to bring even more bad news to that family, he grimaced. The girl would be well-secured somewhere in Gerudo territory by now and Link wouldn't be able to just rush in and save her.

It was the same Gerudo from before and Link knew it had to end. The Gerudo had kidnapped a child, taken Tingle, stolen his horse and attacked him. She'd made it personal now and he wouldn't be satisfied until she was caught and punished.

Wondering if The Postman's brother, Haru was still staying in Kakariko Village, he set off towards it knowing he was in for a very unpleasant conversation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ganondorf crossed the Gerudo city, heading towards the fortress. He had to inform his warriors about the new developments in the plans, and pushed his way through the busy market irritably.

A group of children rushed by him with loud laughter and shrieks of delight, playing some sort of game. He glanced over at them with little interest then stopped.

A flash of white in the centre of the group, catching his attention, he squinted a moment then approached to get a better look. The child in white was pale-skinned and brown haired, obviously not of Gerudo decent and he narrowed his eyes. Reaching out, he grabbed her by the back of the shirt and lifted her so they were face to face. He looked her up and down with a scowl, wondering how she'd gotten into the city.

"How did you get here?" he demanded.

Minoko dangled in his grasp and simply stared at him.

"Who do you belong to?" Ganondorf snarled, shaking her. "Where did you come from?"

"Uh..."

Ganondorf inspected her a bit more closely and saw she was wearing a tiny postal uniform and hat. She bore a deep resemblance to The Postman and Ganondorf glowered.

"The Postman is your father?" he demanded angrily.

"Both my parents are postmen! Well, my mum is a postwoman..."

Ganondorf was livid and was tempted to throw the child out into the desert. "Unacceptable." he muttered.

Minoko cocked her head at him.

"He brought his spawn here and didn't even inform me of it! I should have him thrown into the dungeon to have one of his legs broken." Ganondorf snarled.

Minoko was confused. "What?"

Mumbling to himself, Ganondorf hefted Minoko over his shoulder like a sack of grain and stormed back towards the castle. Once inside, he stomped his way through the halls then threw open the door to the infirmary with a crash.

The Postman was seated on a cot in the process of getting stitches and looked up in surprise. He stared up at Ganondorf for a moment then at Minoko who was still looking confused. Ganondorf grabbed the back of the girl's shirt and held her out in front of him with a scowl.

"Explain this." he ordered.

"I was going to drop her off back in Termina, sir." The Postman replied. "But I'm not allowed to leave at the moment so I didn't really have a choice but to keep her here..."

Ganondorf gave him a dark look. "You didn't inform me you were married." he snapped.

"I'm not, sir."

Ganondorf glanced at the child in his grasp. "In your culture, don't a man and a woman have to get married before they have children?"

This wasn't the case for Gerudos as their entire population were women and men weren't allowed in the desert so they rarely ever saw the fathers of their children.

"Yes, sir." The Postman answered.

Ganondorf frowned down at Minoko. "Then I assume this was a mistake?"

The Postman stared at Minoko a moment before his eyes widened, realizing what Ganondorf thought.

"She's my sister, sir!" he quickly explained. "Not my daughter!"

Minoko wrinkled her nose at that thought but didn't say anything.

Ganondorf stared long and hard at the girl. "Your sister? She's too young to be your sister."

"I have a large family, sir. Minoko is the youngest and I'm the oldest; there's twenty-three years between us."

Ganondorf frowned. "Why is she here? I didn't give you permission for this!"

"She was in danger, sir and I had to bring her with me. It's only temporary I assure you."

Ganondorf was silent a moment as he glared back and forth between the siblings. He then let out a grunt of frustration and threw Minoko on the bed beside The Postman.

"Just keep her out of my way." he snapped, turning to leave.

The Postman nodded as the infirmary door slammed closed. Minoko looled up at her brother and gave him a wide grin.

"I think he likes me."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Link found Haru sitting on the edge of the well holding hands with Anju. They were speaking quietly with one another but when Haru laid eyes on Link, his expression turned murderous.

"What do you want?" he demanded rudely.

"Link, you shouldn't be here!" Anju protested. "It's too soon!"

Link stopped a few feet away as Haru stood up with clenched fists. "You're not welcome here. 'Hero'!"

"I've come about your sister." Link said gently. "It's important otherwise I wouldn't have come."

Haru frowned. "Which sister? I have six."

Link was a bit surprised at that little piece of information, large family's not common in Hyrule.

"The little one?" Link answered hesitantly. "Very small with a big attitude?"

"Minoko?" Haru guessed. "How old was this girl?"

"About eight or nine."

Haru nodded with narrowed his eyes. "Minoko." he confirmed. "What about her? What happened?"

"She was taken by the Gerudos." Link answered.

Haru crossed his arm. "Taken by Gerudos? Minoko is home in Termina; she's nowhere near Hyrule."

"She was," Link insisted. "She said she was taking revenge for her brother and attacked me."

Haru seemed annoyed. "She was told to forget about all that." he stated. "She's such a brat."

"She attacked me a second time but a Gerudo got her hands on her and she was taken. The Gerudo stole my horse to get away."

Haru gave him a hard look. "You were there and couldn't save her? You couldn't handle one little Gerudo? Because of that my sister was kidnapped and your horse was stolen?"

Link felt extremely awkward and he glanced away. "Er...she caught me by surprise." he said lamely.

"You're pathetic. How can you even call yourself a hero?" Haru demanded, looking very much like he wanted to punch Link. "You're the worst hero I've ever heard of!"

"Don't worry, I'll get your sister back. She'll be alright."

Haru gave him a disdainful look. "Don't bother. This is family business now and we'll take care of it. We won't lose another family member. This is where the postmen fight back."

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**Authornote:**

**We're almost to the end everybody!** **Only a couple chapters left! The next chapter will probably be out next week since my new job is so crazy.**

**Please R&R as reviews make the writer very happy! Lol**


	13. Preparations for War

**Authornote:**

******Only one chapter to go! You're almost there readers, don't die yet! Hopefully i'll have the last chapter up by the weekend. Don't forget to R&R and enjoy the chapter!**

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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

Preparations for war

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><p>XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX<p>

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><p>After his meeting with Haru, Link set out to find Darunia, knowing they'd have to make their move fast. He didn't want Haru or any of his family to get in the cross-fire so he needed to gather the Zoras and Gorons for the battle in Gerudo Valley. It would take a lot to break through the Gerudos defence but he knew his friends would help him no matter what. The Zoras and Gorons had just as much to fear from Ganondorf as men so they wouldn't hesitate to step onto the battlefield.<p>

Darunia's letter had said he went to visit another Goron tribe far to the north so as Link rode on his borrowed horse, he hoped to find his sworn brother before it was too late.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once his shoulder was sewn and bandaged, The Postman headed to his room, Minoko by his side. As he removed his backpack and dropped it to the floor with a tired sigh, he told her to go take a bath as she was covered in dirt and grime and smelled vaguely of a redead. As she ran the bath, The Postman flopped face-down on his bed, immediately passing out from exhaustion. He was so tired, he didn't even hear Minoko come back into the room about twenty minutes later.

"Hey, I need a change of clothes." she informed the still form on the bed.

He didn't move.

"Brother?"

He didn't so much as twitch.

Frowning at him, she leaned in close to make sure he was still breathing then gave his shoulder a hard shake. There still wasn't a reaction. Eyeing him a moment, she crawled on top of him and began shaking him as hard as she could, the only response a light snore. He remained face-down in his pillows, oblivious to her or anything else. Sighing, Minoko rolled him over so he wouldn't smother then approached his wardrobe to see what she could borrow.

Opening the doors to the wardrobe, she stared in silence for a long moment.

"Why does brother have women's clothes...?" she wondered to herself.

Dismissing the situation as a good sister should, she reached in and began inspecting the different articles of clothing. There were many different sizes and styles of Gerudo clothing and she found a few in her size.

Getting dressed, she looked down at the puffy green pants with a giggle and gave a twirl. All of the Gerudo clothing was funny looking but extremely comfortable. Satisfied with how she looked, she approached the bed and stared at her brother for a long moment.

"Brother, can I go exploring the castle?"

There was predictably no answer. Minoko cocked her head at him.

"Snore if you mean yes."

When there was silence, Minoko gave him a hard poke in the side eliciting the wanted snore.

"Thank you!" she called, running to the door. "I'll be back later!"

The Postman remained dead to the world.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ganondorf walked up and down the rows of warriors inspecting them with a frown. They were all armed with the best Gerudo weaponry and had armour that even an ax couldn't penetrate. Every Gerudo had trained since childhood and wouldn't hesitate to die for their king but he felt a bit uneasy. He didn't like to use his Gerudos for war, they weren't monsters which could be used as canon fodder, they were his people. He preferred them to stay hidden away in the desert, away from the rest of the world but this time the fight was coming to them and they had no choice but to defend.

His expression turned ugly and he let out a low growl. He would fight on the front-lines and kill the hero personally. No one would step foot on Gerudo land, he'd make sure of it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Minoko had explored most of the castle, getting scolded several times by Gerudos for being in places she wasn't supposed to. Not bothered in the least, she continued to nose around the castle finding it both creepy and fascinating. On the main floor of the castle she came across an old, dark stairwell leading far below ground and felt her curiosity grow. She had a feeling she wasn't supposed to go down there and glanced over her should to see if anyone was looking. No one was anywhere near her so with a mischievous grin, she snuck down.

The stairwell was so dark she could barely see and there was a cold breeze that gave her goosebumps. Cobwebs floated eerily around her and dust coated the walls and stairs like a blanket. Images of ghosts appeared in her thoughts and she gave another shiver.

When she reached the bottom, she quickly saw she was in a dungeon of some sort and strange brutal looking contraptions were everywhere. Reaching up, she pulled a torch down off the wall and held it out, looking everything over in morbid curiosity. She wasn't sure what any of the odd machines or things did but she was sure it wasn't anything good. She wandered through the large dungeon and came to several rusted cells. Minoko had never been in a jail before and reached out and touched one of the bars in fascination.

Something moved from within the cell and Minoko let out a shrill shriek, jumping back completely startled. She stared with wide eyes as a small, chubby figure approached the bars and peered out at her, his green and red tights dirty and torn. His goatee was mussed and overgrown and his eyes were sad but he forced a smile for her benefit.

"Tingle, Tingle, kooloo limpah..." he said without enthusiasm. He threw a handful of sparkles at her half-heartedly which fell short of reaching the girl.

Minoko just stared at him, not exactly sure what she was looking at. The short little man gave a cough then he turned his eyes back to her.

"Hello there." he greeted sadly.

Minoko backed up another step and gave him a wary look. "...um, hello."

"What are you doing down here?" he asked. "Tingle doesn't think this is the place for little girls; it's dangerous down here."

"I'm just exploring." Minoko responded. "Why are you in jail?"

Tingle let out a deep sigh. "Tingle doesn't know. One minute he was happily making maps then the next thing he knew, he was thrown in here. Now Tingle will never find a fairy of his own."

Minoko frowned in confusion. "A fairy? Why do you want a fairy?"

Tingle let out a deep sigh. "Tingle needs a fairy of his own because he himself is a forest fairy. Fairies are happy and free, not sad and alone."

"I don't think a fairy makes happiness." Minoko said, thinking of the fairies she'd seen.

Tingle shook his head. "Humans get sad and lonely! Fairies are never sad! Tingle wants a fairy of his own so he can become and fairy and fly away from here."

Minoko furrowed her brow. "You need a fairy to be happy?"

Tingle nodded adamantly. "Yes. If Tingle had a fairy, everything would be all right and he'd be happy."

Minoko stepped forward confidently. "I can get you a fairy!"

Tingle's eyes widened and a tiny flicker of hope appeared in them. "You can find Tingle a fairy?"

Minoko nodded. "If it'll make you happy, I'll find you a fairy!"

Tingle gave her a tired but genuine smile. Finding a bit of energy, he gave a twirl. "Tingle, Tingle, kooloo limpah!" he cried. "These are the magic words Tingle created himself. They will bring you good luck, don't steal them!"

Minoko let out a giggle as he threw a handful of sparkles at her and she gave him the best postal salute she could manage.

"You can count on me!" she announced. "I won't let you down!"

As she turned and ran out of the dungeon, Tingle slowly sank down onto the floor tiredly and smiled; the first ray of hope shining through for the first time in weeks.

Minoko ran up the stairs all the way to the fifth floor and burst into her brother's room, disappointed when he was still asleep. Padding over to him, she crawled up onto the bed beside him and gave him a nudge. He shifted slightly but didn't wake. Giving him another prod, she asked.

"Can I borrow some rupees?"

When he didn't react in the slightest, she frowned and turned her gaze to his wallet which was attached to his belt. Biting her lip, she gave him another glance.

"I'm borrowing a few rupees, brother!" she announced loudly to the comatose postman.

Reaching over him, she carefully detached the wallet from the belt and opened it, peering inside. Her eyes widened.

"Wow! Where did you get so many rupees?" she asked, digging through it, counting. "I only get one rupee a week for allowance!"

Giving The Postman one more guilty look, she stuffed the wallet into her pocket and ran out the door, excited. Earlier, when she'd played in the market with the other children she'd see a variety of stalls so she knew one of them had to have a fairy.

Minoko ran down the five flights of stairs back to the main floor then out of the castle. The Gerudos gave the small girl a curious look as she passed but weren't too concerned. She ran straight to the market and pushed her way through the crowds, looking at the different stalls. She looked from one to another until she came across a stall which sold warrior items. Peeking over the counter at the grouchy looking Gerudo in charge of the stall, she smiled.

"Hullo."

The Gerudo looked down at her and raised an eyebrow at the small girl. "Yes?" she asked.

Minoko pointed at the fairy on the top of one of the shelves. "How much is the fairy?"

"What do you need with a fairy?" The Gerudo demanded. "You're not old enough to be a warrior yet!"

"It's a present." Minoko explained. "I promised I'd get one!"

"I see." The Gerudo stated. "Do you have a bottle to put it in?"

Minoko's face fell.

"You need a bottle to store the fairy in." The Gerudo explained. "The fairy will fly away if you don't."

Minoko frowned and looked back up at the bottled fairy. "Can I have that bottle?" she asked.

"No, that's the stall's bottle."

"Can I buy it?"

"No."

Minoko gave her an absolute tragic look, complete with trembling bottom lip. The Gerudo crossed her arms.

"That's not going to work." she stated. "I have two daughters of my own."

"Oh." Minoko stated, sighing heavily.

The Gerudo eyed her for a moment, the small girl reminding her of her own children then let out a sigh. "I suppose I can sell you the bottle. 100 rupees for both."

Minoko was instantly all smiles. "Okay!"

She opened the wallet and pulled out two purple rupees, handing them to the vender. The Gerudo accepted the rupees with a nod and reached up and plucked the jar down off the shelf. She handed it to Minoko who immediately stuffed it into her pocket.

"Thank you!" she said, turning to run back through the market.

As she ran past several more stalls, one in particular caught her attention, causing her to stop. The stall was covered top to bottom in dolls and she let out a gasp of delight. She'd only ever had one doll in her entire life, a raggety doll that smelled a bit like old jam. The doll had been passed down to her from her five sisters before her and had definitely seen better days. She'd never had anything new before and stared longingly at the beautiful dolls.

One in particular caught her attention and she let out a sigh of longing. The doll was carved with the upmost care and was the most realistic doll she'd ever seen. It looked like a Gerudo warrior princess, with long red hair, flowing skirts and twin swords attached to her belt.

"Wow." Minoko breathed in admiration.

The vender look down at her and instantly went into sales mode, Minoko being her directed market.

"That's princess Arietta," The Gerudo explained. "She's very popular with girls right now. Did you want to see her?"

"Yes, please!" Minoko cried, eagerly.

The vender took the doll down off its hook and held it down to the girl, who seized it greedily. Minoko couldn't believe how life-like the doll was and ran her fingers through the hair with appreciation.

"She's beautiful!" Minoko commented. "How much is she?"

"She's 800 rupees." The vender said. "She's the finest doll that's ever been carved!"

"Oh..." Minoko said hesitantly. "That's a lot."

"Do you even have any money?" The vender asked, giving the girl a skeptical look.

"Well, it's my brother's money..."

Recognition flashed in the vender's face. "Oh, I heard about you! You're The Postman's sister!"

"Yeah." Minoko confirmed, giving the doll another longing look.

"Did you want it or not?" The Gerudo asked. "I've had many people look at that doll today so it won't be here long."

Minoko frowned and looked down at the wallet in her hands. The doll was very expensive but she really, really wanted it. Biting her lip guiltily, she held out the wallet.

The vender took it and upturned the contents on the counter. As she counted out the rupees, Minoko wondered just how mad her brother would be. She'd offer to pay him back but it would take her 900 weeks with her current level of allowance.

A few minutes later, the vender handed back a considerably lighter wallet and Minoko decided she could handle him being mad at her. It'd be worth it. She gave the doll a loving hug and gave a grin to the vender.

"Thank you!" Minoko said as she turned and ran back towards the castle.

The vender watched her go and simply shook her head.

Minoko burst back into the castle at top speed and headed back towards the dungeon. She ran down the steps eagerly and when at the bottom, headed straight for Tingle's cell.

Tingle was seated on a dirty pile of hay when she peered in and he looked up at her in desperate hope.

"Were you able to find Tingle a fairy?" he asked hesitantly.

Minoko gave him a wide grin and pulled out the bottled fairy. Tingle let out a shocked gasp and suddenly found his strength as he jumped to his feet.

"You found Tingle a fairy!" he cried in ecstasy.

Minoko held the bottle through the bars of the cell and Tingle grabbed it away from her like he was afraid it would disappear. He stared into the glass bottle with an almost hungry expression and did a twirl of happiness.

"Thank you, sweet little fairy girl! Tingle is so happy now and he'll never forget your kindness!"

Minoko gave him a smile. "No problem, sir. I have to get going now before my brother wakes up. Good luck!"

As she trotted back up the stairs, Tingle danced around in his cell, holding the fairy high above his head proudly. The fairy inside the bottle wilted ever so slightly.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Postman remained oblivious to the world for a long time and when he awoke several hours later to an empty room, he let out a heavy sigh. Getting up and giving a stretch, he left the room to track down his sister. He didn't have to look far and found her in the hallway not far from the room. He raised an eyebrow at her as she gave him a guilty look.

"What have you been up to?" he asked.

Minoko hugged the doll to her chest and looked down at her sandals. "Um, you may have just bought me my birthday present...and my Winter Festival present... and my next birthday present too...and probably the following Winter Festival present too..."

The Postman glanced down at the doll in realization then down at where his wallet used to be. When he looked back up at Minoko, she was scuffing her foot on the floor not looking at him. He crossed his arms then held out his hand. Minoko sheepishly handed him back his wallet and he let out a sigh.

"Your birthday was three months ago." he pointed out. "We're returning the doll."

"No!" Minoko cried out, hugging it even harder. "The birthday present you gave me was stupid! This one's better!"

"Your present wasn't stupid."

Minoko scowled at him. "You gave me a book of stamps."

The Postman thought about it. He'd actually forgotten about her birthday at the time and gave her what he could find in his pocket. He supposed stamps weren't exactly what a nine-year old hoped for on their birthday but that didn't mean she could steal his wallet! Glancing inside his wallet, he then frowned down at the doll.

"How much did that thing cost?" he asked.

"Erm..."

"That's what I though. We're taking it back."

"Nooo!" Minoko protested. "I love her!"

"Did you spend all that money just on a doll?" he asked.

"I bought a fairy too..."

The Postman quickly looked her up and down. "Why? Did you hurt yourself?"

Minoko shook her head. "No, it was for the sad man in the dungeon. He said he wanted to be a fairy and only a fairy would make him happy so I gave one to him."

The Postman's eyes widened. "Sad fairy man in the dungeons? What did he look like?"

Minoko gave a shrug. "Weird. Very weird."

The Postman frowned. So Tingle was in the dungeons... He'd thought Ganondorf had released him weeks ago but obviously this was not the case.

"Why were you in the dungeon?" The Postman demanded, again crossing his arms.

Eyes widening, Minoko reached out and took her brother by the hand. "Quick, come on! I'll show the man to you!"

Rolling his eyes, The Postman allowed himself to be tugged downstairs and Minoko didn't even hesitate as she pulled him down into the dungeons. When they reached the bottom and The Postman saw all of the horrific torture devices strew about, he instinctively covered Minoko's eyes and pushed her ahead of him. She quickly pulled away from him however and gestured around the dungeon.

"I've already see all this!" she protested. "Twice actually! I'm not scared."

The Postman didn't tell her that she should have been scared, instead turning his attention to the cells.

"He's over there," Minoko helpfully pointed out. "In that one!"

The Postman approached the cell and peered inside, instantly seeing Tingle dancing happily, bottled fairy in hand. The little man had lost weight since he'd last seen him and was incredibly dirty and ragged. Although he seemed happy enough at the moment, The Postman still gave him a sad look. He leaned against the bars, watching for a moment then cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Tingle, I didn't know this would happen to you." he said quietly.

Tingle paused and looked up at him, recognizing the voice. "You..."

"I really am sorry, sir, this is my fault."

Tingle looked like he didn't know what to do and after a moment he furrowed his brow and threw a handful of sparkles at him.

"Tingle, Tingle kooloo limpah!" he cried out. "Now you have been cursed! These are the magic words Tingle created himself. Don't steal them!"

The Postman simply stared at him but Minoko scowled. "Hey! Don't curse my brother!"

If Tingle heard, he didn't show it, instead going back to dancing, lost in his own world.

"If you don't stop struggling you pathetic worm, I swear I'm going to run you through!"

They looked up at the loud yell from the stairs and The Postman immediately grabbed Minoko and disappeared into the shadows. Only seconds later, two Gerudo warriors entered the dungeon, dragging a screaming, struggling figure towards the cells. The captive's bald head glinted in the torch-light and The Postman's eyes widened when he saw it was Sakon. He watched as the cell in front of them was opened and the thief was violently thrown inside.

"You might as well pray to the goddesses." One of the Gerudos sneered. "You're to be executed in the morning."

"Wait!" Sakon cried. "It's all a mistake! Ganondorf doesn't understand what happened!"

"Shut it!" the Gerudo snapped.

"But I've always been loyal to Ganondorf! I would never betray him!"

One of the Gerudos smashed the bars of the cell hard with her spear. "She said shut it, thief!"

As they turned to go, Sakon shook at the bars desperately. "Wait!" he bellowed. "Wait! You can't kill me! You don't understand! Please wait!"

The Gerudos ignored him and didn't even give him a second glance as they left the dungeon. Sakon watched them go then visibly sagged against the bars. He was silent as he stared, seemingly shell-shocked, then he gave a heavy, shaky sigh.

The Postman glanced one way then the other and when he was sure the coast was clear, removed his hand from Minoko's mouth. Staring at the thief a long moment, he stepped out of the shadows.

"It didn't take you long to get caught." The Postman stated, cocking his head. "Less than a day."

Sakon visibly jumped and turned to stare at him with wide eyes. "Where did you come from?" He demanded.

The Postman approached the bars so he and Sakon were face to face. "When are you to be executed?" he asked.

"Dawn." Sakon answered with a visible shudder.

The Postman nodded, not sure how he felt about that. He averted his gaze as the thief frowned at him. Minoko, who'd been unnoticed by the thief, peeked through the bars at him.

"You're going to die?" she asked. "I've never met someone who was going to die before..."

"Minoko." The Postman scolded, pushing her away. "Don't talk to criminals."

Sakon scowled at him. "I wouldn't hurt a little girl." he stated, sounding offended. "I'm a thief, not a monster."

"You'll excuse me if I don't turn my back on you."

"Touche." Sakon admitted, turning his gaze down at Minoko. "One of your sisters?" he asked.

The Postman nodded.

"I don't think I've met this one." the thief stated thoughtfully. "Just how many siblings do you have?"

"You wouldn't have met her; she's only nine."

Sakon gave a heavy sigh and again met The Postman's gaze. "I truly am sorry for before. I really feel like a real sleaze over the whole thing. I know I'm not exactly the most trustworthy person in the world, but I do mean it."

The Postman said nothing so Sakon continued.

"You have every right to hate me until the end of eternity but I just hope you believe me when I say that I made a mistake and am sorry."

"You just want me to break you out."

Sakon let out a gasp and placed a hand over his heart, acting the victim. "How could you? Here I am pouring out my heart to you and you accuse me of lying! Nice, really nice."

The Postman crossed his arms. "You already used that routine on the Death Mountain guard." he pointed out.

"Oh. Did I? Oops."

Minoko peeked through the bars again. "What did you do? Why is my brother mad at you?"

"I did something I'm not proud of." Sakon answered. "I feel really awful but your brother is still very angry at me. I'm incredibly sorry but he won't accept my apology. Don't you think he should forgive me?"

Minoko gave The Postman an elbow in the stomach. "You're supposed to forgive people when they say they're sorry!" she scolded. "Don't be mean, big brother!"

The Postman glared at Sakon. "Don't involve my sister in this."

Sakon grinned at him. "Sorry."

"If I let you out, you have to do something for me."

Sakon eagerly nodded. "Of course! What is it?"

"I mean it." The Postman said. "You have to promise me."

"What is it?" Sakon asked again.

"I want you to take Minoko home, then return the Hero of Time's horse."

Sakon raised an eyebrow. "That's it?"

"You'll protect Minoko with your life."

"Of course." Sakon replied with a shrug. "Piece of cake."

Minoko frowned openly. "Brother, why aren't you taking me home? Aren't you coming?"

The Postman shook his head. "No, I have to stay here from now on; I don't have a choice. I won't be coming home."

"You're never coming home?"

The Postman hesitated and averted his gaze. "I don't know..."

Minoko crossed her arms and gave the best glare a nine year old could manage. "I'm not going if you're not going!" she announced. "I'm not losing you again! You belong home with the rest of us!"

The Postman sighed, feeling very tired. "You are going, Minoko. It isn't safe for you here and you're going home. Sakon will take you there."

Minoko scowled, wondering when her normally happy, energetic brother had gotten so serious. She didn't like it.

"Don't worry, kid, me and your brother used to be pals. I'll make sure nothing happens to you."

Minoko looked like she was about to protest but she was interrupted by an angry yell from behind them.

"Hey! What are you doing down here? This area is restricted!"

The Postman and Minoko spun around and saw a Gerudo warrior standing on the stairs, glaring at them through narrowed eyes.

"You're not supposed to come down here, postman!" she snapped. "What are you up to?"

"I was just giving my sister a tour of the castle." The Postman replied, giving the Gerudo a smile. "I wasn't aware this area was off-limits. I apologize for the inconvenience, miss."

The Gerudo crossed her arms. "Out, postman or I might decide to throw you in there with the prisoners. You're lucky the king seems to favour you or he would have killed you long ago."

"Yes, miss." The Postman said, taking Minoko by the hand and leading her to the stairs.

As they passed the Gerudo by, she gave The Postman a hard swat upside the head.

"Don't bring children into the torture chamber!" she scolded. "Now get out of here!"

The Postman quickly did as he was told, not sure when he'd be able to make it back to Sakon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Far from the Gerudo Valley in Termina, Haru reached home and relayed the news of Minoko. Without hesitation, the entire family gathered weapons and supplies and left the house all to travel in different directions. They'd inform their relatives what had happened who'd in turn inform their relatives until all of the postmen knew.

Within hours, they had an entire army; every postman in all the lands willing to fight by their side.


	14. War of the Tribes

**Authornote:**

**Holy crap this is a long chapter! lol. Well, it's finally finished folks! Here's the final chapter of How to be a Villain! Please R&R and enjoy the story!  
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><p><strong>How to be a Villain<strong>

War of the Tribes

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><p>The Postman waited for the rest of the day but didn't have any opportunity to return to the dungeons. Every time he'd try, there would be Gerudos on the main floor, standing too close to the stairs for him to sneak by. Not wanting to attract attention to himself, he went back to his room to wait for night. After making sure Minoko was fed, he put her to bed, not sure what time they'd make their move.<p>

Minoko laid in bed, arms crossed, glowering up at him, her opinion clear on the matter.

"I'm not tired." she protested. "I wanna stay up until we leave!"

The Postman shook his head. "You're going to need your energy." he stated. "You're only nine and are not staying up all night."

"But it's still early! I'm not even tired yet!"

"It's already past your bedtime, Minoko. Get to sleep."

Minoko gave him a dirty look. "Not fair." she complained. "You get to stay up!"

"I'm not nine, now get to sleep and stop talking."

Minoko rolled her eyes. "Yes, mum."

Giving him one more glare, she rolled over, facing away from him. The Postman, who was on the opposite side of the bed stared up at the ceiling with a sigh, bored. After a time, Minoko began to snore loudly and The Postman glanced over at her in amusement. Every now and then he'd go out to see if the halls were clear and finally, hours later, just a bit before dawn, he knew it was time.

The Postman snuck back to his room and shook Minoko awake, placing a finger to his lips. Minoko nodded obediently, staying quiet as her brother took her by the hand and led her out of the room. They crept down the dark, empty halls, The Postman listening for any noise out of the ordinary, and made it to the main floor without being seen.

There was one lone Gerudo on the main floor who stood near the entrance to the dungeon. She was bathed in the light of a torch and looked tired and bored, her shift almost over. The Postman eyed her warily and very slowly edged behind her, staying deep in the shadows. Reaching out cautiously, he removed the key-ring from her belt, not making a sound. The Gerudo remained oblivious, not completely awake and not paying attention.

They hurried down the dungeon stairs and Sakon was waiting at the bars of his cell impatiently.

"Cutting it a bit close, aren't you?" he hissed. "I'm supposed to be executed in less than an hour!"

"Sorry, we couldn't come any sooner, it was too dangerous."

"Whatever. Just open the cell and let me out!" Sakon demanded, his eyes panicked and desperate.

The Postman flipped through the key-ring and selected one that looked like it would fit and tried it. It fit but wouldn't turn so The Postman pulled it out and glanced over at Tingle's cell. Stepping over, he tried it and a second later, the cell door swung open.

"What are you doing?" Sakon demanded. "Who cares about the fairy man? Let me out!"

Ignoring Sakon for the moment, The Postman stepped into the cell and approached the sleeping Tingle. Kneeling down, he gave his shoulder a hard shake.

"Mr. Tingle! Hey! Please wake up, sir!"

Tingle jolted awake with a yell and The Postman quickly slapped a hand over the man's mouth before he could draw attention. Tingle stared up at him with wide eyes and The Postman shushed him.

"I'm getting you out of here, sir, please stay quiet."

Tingle quickly gave a nod and The Postman removed his hand and stood to approach Sakon's cell. The thief was tapping one foot impatiently, looking agitated and The Postman continued to ignore him as he flipped through the key-ring. Finding another dungeon key, he opened Sakon's cell who immediately let out a sigh of relief.

Minoko gave a friendly smile to Tingle who did a silent, happy dance for her and Sakon rolled his eyes.

"Well, darling, lead the way." Sakon whispered to The Postman.

The Postman frowned at him as Minoko glanced between the both of them curiously. "Darling?" she questioned. "Why's he calling you darling? That's what mum calls you."

The Postman sighed. "It's because he's weird."

Sakon gave him a cheeky grin as he followed the others across the dungeon. "How dare you deny out love, my sweet!" he said dramatically. "Don't you remember how romantic our honeymoon was? Death Mountain really shook that night!"

Minoko stared at him, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What?"

"I guess you're just shy of our passionate love!" Sakon said with a sigh, his grin becoming downright devilish.

"You went on a honeymoon?" Minoko asked her brother uncertainly.

"Of course we did!" Sakon answered.

The Postman gave Sakon a dirty look. "Stop filling her head full of nonsense."

Sakon giggled but did fall silent as they crept up the stairs.

The Gerudo guard from before was still there, now looking like she'd fallen asleep. They all snuck by her without making so much as a peep and saw no one else on the way to the main doors. Once outside, Sakon let out a loud breath of relief and gave a stretch.

"What a useless guard." he commented. "Not that I'm complaining of course."

"Shh." The Postman admonished him.

The Postman led them across the grounds to the stables, no one saying a word. Inside he found Epona in one of the stalls, looking tired and stressed. Reaching out he petted her nose as he unlocked the stall door then saddled her. Leading her out of the stall, he turned to the others.

"Sakon, if you pretend to be me, the Gerudos should let you by. They've never stopped me from leaving before so you shouldn't have a problem."

"What about him?" Sakon demanded, gesturing at Tingle. "You couldn't ignore him if you tried."

"We could tie him up like a prisoner." The Postman suggested. "It worked last time."

Tingle backed away, clutching his fairy tightly. "Tying up Tingle doesn't sound very magical..."

"It's only until we get out of the Gerudo Valley, stupid fairy man." Sakon snapped, pulling down a coil of rope from the back wall. "You better not get me caught!"

Tingle gave him an uncertain look but did hand Minoko his fairy, she being the only one he trusted with it. As Sakon and The Postman tied him up tightly and hoisted him onto the horse, Tingle muttered his magic words over and over to himself. Sakon scowled at him.

"Can we gag him too?"

"No."

Sakon gave a sigh and mounted the horse as The Postman lifted Minoko up onto the thief's lap. He handed Sakon his mask and as the thief slipped it on, The Postman grabbed his shoulder, forcing Sakon to look at him.

"I'm trusting you." he said simply. "Keep her safe."

Sakon waved him off dismissively. "Relax, darling, I owe you thrice now so I'll make sure to get her home safely."

The Postman eyed him for a moment then gave a nod. Turning to Minoko, he gave her hand an encouraging squeeze as she turned her eyes away guiltily. Frowning sadly, she gave her doll one last hug then held it out to him.

"I'm sorry for buying her without asking first." she whispered. "You can take her back."

The Postman pushed the doll back into her arms. "Keep her, she is your birthday present after all...and your winter festival present...and probably your next birthday present too..."

Minoko let out a gasp of delight then gave him the widest grin she could manage. "Thank you!" she cried.

"Can I get going now?" Sakon snapped impatiently. "It's almost dawn!"

"Goodbye, Minoko. Good luck, Sakon, try not to get caught again."

As Sakon turned the horse and began riding away, Minoko looked over her shoulder at The Postman.

"You're the best big brother ever!" she called back. "Even if you did marry a man and sometimes cross-dress! Goodbye!"

Sakon could be heard bellowing in laughter as they rode away and The Postman stared after them in mild disbelief.

What?

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Link had found Darunia in the Northern Goron City and explained everything that had happened. The Goron chief immediately jumped into action and informed his northern brothers of the situation. The Gorons joined Darunia without hesitation and armed themselves for war. As Link rode as fast as he could back to Hyrule, the Gorons rolled ahead of him to gather their brothers on Death Mountain.

Link rode as fast as the horse could go and when he finally reached the outskirts of Hyrule, he saw something unbelievable. The normally green fields were white as far as the eye could see. As he got closer, he saw the white was from clothing; from hundreds of postpeople marching across Hyrule. There were postmen of all ages and even many who weren't man-kind. Graceful Rito's flew overhead, their expressions stern and mailbags slung over their shoulders. Link could only stare at the slow movement of the postal army making their way towards Gerudo Valley.

Link sped up the horse and as he passed them, he became aware of hundreds of glares aimed in his direction. He couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated and watched them warily as he rode towards Zora Domain. As he crossed the Zora River, he knew he had to hurry before the battle began. Once the Zoras were on their way, the Gerudos wouldn't stand a chance.

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Once Epona had disappeared out of view, The Postman went back to the castle, knowing he was going to be in a lot of trouble. The second he entered, he saw dozens of Gerudos frantically running to and fro and knew they'd discovered that Sakon was missing. He went back to his room and remained there as things began heating up in the castle.

He laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, ignoring the occasional Gerudo who came in to search his room. The Gerudos seemed frazzled and he knew it was only a matter of time before they put the pieces together and linked him to Sakon's escape.

Sure enough, after a couple hours there was a loud knock on his door and several Gerudo warriors barged in. They gave him a look of death when he didn't seem overly concerned then said.

"King Ganondorf wants to see you immediately, postman. We're here to escort you."

The Postman slowly got up and allowed the Gerudos to seize him without a fight. They gripped him painfully by the arms and dragged him bodily out of the room, not even giving him the option of walking.

They dragged him all the way downstairs to Ganondorf's throne room then gave a knock to the door.

"Enter." came Ganondorf's reply.

Pushing open the door, they threw The Postman inside and he landed painfully on the floor, skidding several feet before coming to a stop. When he looked up, he saw he was at Ganondorf's feet, the Gerudo staring down at him in disgust.

Reaching down, Ganondorf seized him by the back of the shirt and easily yanked him up so they were face to face.

"Hello, postman." he said casually.

"Hello, sir."

"I was wondering if you could help me figure something out." Ganondorf continued, his voice still suspiciously light. "I had an execution planned this morning. Imagine my surprise when I discovered him gone as well as my other prisoner."

The Postman said nothing and Ganondorf narrowed his eyes.

"I've been told you were in the dungeons yesterday seen speaking with the prisoners." Ganondorf snapped. "My Gerudos told me you'd been hanging around the first floor before it happened."

When The Postman still remained silent, Ganondorf gave him a hard shake, expression turning ugly. "Did you or did you not release my prisoners?" he snarled.

"Yes, sir."

Ganondorf's eyes narrowed even further until they were mere slits. "Not going to lie to me, postman? You're admitting to it as easy as that?"

"Yes, sir."

Ganondorf's mouth became a thin line as took a very deep, forced breath of anger. "Give me one good reason I should have you beaten." he snarled, giving him another shake.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I had to do what was right."

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself?" Ganondorf demanded, practically bristling from anger.

"No, sir, you already know my reasons."

Ganondorf gave a snort of disdain. "You could never be a villain, postman. What I was thinking when I employed you is beyond me. If you weren't so useful, I'd have thrown you into the desert to rot long ago."

With a growl of contempt, Ganondorf threw him to the floor, The Postman hitting the stone hard and sliding back, wincing in pain as his arms and legs were scraped. Ganondorf sneered down at him, obviously still livid but managing to control his rage enough not to kill the man. He yelled for the guards and they almost instantly appeared, having been listening outside the door.

"Yes, King Ganondorf?" one of them asked, standing at attention.

"Take him to the dungeons and beat him." he ordered. "Don't break any bones."

"Yes, your majesty." The Gerudos said as one as they rushed forward to seize The Postman.

As they dragged him from the room, a loud blast from a war-horn stopped them in their tracks. They exchanged a look with one another then turned their eyes to their king. Ganondorf's eyes widened and he gazed out the window in surprise.

"The warning call!" he exclaimed. "The hero must be here! Quickly, get every Gerudo to the fortress! Prepare for battle!"

"What about him, sir?" a Gerudo asked, pointing down at The Postman.

"Never mind him, he's not important. Just get any available warriors to the fortress now!"

"Yes, your majesty!" both Gerudos chorused, releasing The Postman and running from the room.

The Postman glanced up at Ganondorf who was scowling down at him. "You're lucky this time." he stated.

The Gerudo yanked him to his feet by his upper arm harshly, then said. "You're staying with me so I can keep an eye on you. You haven't been trustworthy today and I'm not taking the chance on you."

Keeping a firm hold on The Postman's arm, Ganondorf stalked from the room, dragging the smaller man with him. He crossed the hall to the armoury where Ganondorf began donning his armour. The leather and steel of the armour was obviously custom built and looked like it could just about withstand anything. As Ganondorf attached the magic sword to his belt, he glanced down at The Postman thoughtfully. Pulling a small dagger out of his boot, he handed to him then said.

"I'm mad at you at the moment, postman, so you don't get a sword. I wouldn't trust you with it. Just be glad I gave you anything."

"That's alright, Mr. Ganondorf." The Postman stated, holding the dagger with just his thumb and forefinger, not exactly sure what to do with it. "I wouldn't know how to use it anyway."

Rolling his eyes, Ganondorf handed him a new mask. "Put this on so you're not recognized. You'll be useless to me if everyone knows you're alive."

The Postman accepted the mask and slipped it on as he attached the dagger to his belt, not really wanting a weapon.

Without another word, Ganondorf grabbed a hold of him and both disappeared with a crackle of power. The Postman gave a blink as his surroundings changed and glanced around seeing they were now in the centre of the Gerudo army. Every warrior was standing stalk-still, staring across the Gerudo bridge. Turning his gaze to the other side of the bridge, The Postman's eyes widened at what he saw.

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Sakon urged Epona faster, racing through the canyon, heading towards Hyrule Field as fast as the horse could go. He had one arm around Minoko as the other clenched the reins tightly. The disguise had worked and the Gerudos had let him pass without question.

Epona turned onto Hyrule Field and as they rode across, Sakon could see something white in the distance. He squinted as they got closer and quickly saw the white was in fact many white things. When Sakon saw exactly what was marching towards them, he let out a gasp as Minoko gave a cheer.

Hundreds of postmen were marching down the hill towards them and Sakon stared with his mouth agape. Bringing the horses to a stop, he looked down at Minoko.

"Holy sh-sugar!" he cried. "Are they all related to you?"

Minoko gave him a grin. "Yup! They're all my family! Most are related through marriages though..."

"But-but there are Ritos!"

"Uh huh. One of my great uncles married a Rito and our family doubled in size! His kids are half-man half-Rito!"

Sakon gave a low whistle and headed towards the army, wondering if he could just drop Minoko off with them. The moment he approached, the postpeople all came to a stop, seeing Minoko and readying themselves to take her by force. As Sakon received hundreds of suspicious glares, he realized he was still wearing the mask and pulled it off.

An overweight, grey-haired woman pushed her way through the crowd and ran towards them, expression anxious. "Minoko!" she yelled.

Sakon recognized her as The Postman's mother and instantly felt awkward as she reached them. Minoko threw herself at her mother in a fierce hug and latched on as if she were a redead.

"Mama!" she wailed. "I missed you so much!"

"Minoko!" her mother cried. "Thank the goddesses you're safe! What happened?"

"I was in a Gerudo city!"

"How did you escape? Did they hurt you? What happened?"

"Brother's there, mama, he protected me! He's alive but the Gerudos have him and he won't leave."

Her mother looked confused then she frowned. "Your brother died sweetheart, he can't come back. We talked about this, remember? He's gone."

Minoko violently shook her head. "No, mama! He really is alive! He said he had to stay with the Gerudos and didn't have a choice. Ask Sookin, he knows he's still alive! We have to save him, mama!"

"Sookin?" her mother repeated in confusion. Looking up at the thief for the first time, she did a double-take. "Sakon?"

Sakon gave her a nervous smile and pulled at his collar uncomfortably. "Um, hi, Jinaudi." he greeted. "How have you been?"

Jinaudi stared at him in surprise then demanded. "Sakon, what happened? Why are you with Minoko?"

"Ah, well, you see..." Sakon began. "Minoko is right, your son is alive. He asked me to take your daughter to safety."

Jinaudi let out a gasp, raising both hands to her mouth. She stared at him with wide eyes, a faint flicker of hope growing in them.

"He's alive?" she whispered.

Sakon nodded.

"If he's alive, why hasn't he come home? Why hasn't he let us know he's alright?"

"Um, he can't because everyone kinda wants him dead. They think he's evil or something..."

"It was all a mistake!" Jinaudi cried. "My son did nothing wrong, Link said it was an accident! No one's after him! He doesn't have to hide!"

"Well, someone should probably tell him that." Sakon stated. "He's been working for Ganondorf."

Jinaudi shook her head. "My son would never work for that man! He's a good boy who loves his job!"

Sakon rolled his eyes. "In all due respect, ma'am, I don't think he had much choice in the matter. In his point of view, Link wanted him dead, all of Hyrule wanted him dead, he was an outcast to his own country, he no longer had a job and there was only one person offering him a way out. He chose to go where he'd be accepted instead of a life on the run."

Again Jinaudi shook her head, not believing it. "No. I taught him better than that." she said decisively. "He wouldn't choose to become a villain. He knows he can always come home no matter what. We would never turn him away!"

Sakon snorted. "Yeah, well maybe you don't know him as well as you think." he responded. "He's taken to the life of a villain like a bird to the air. With all the lying, stealing and kidnapping, he's right up there with the best of us villains!"

Jinaudi narrowed her eyes at the thief and before he had a chance to react, she reached up and grabbed him by the ear. He let out a startled yelp as she gave him a stern look.

"I know your reputation, Sakon, and by the goddesses if you're lying to me..."

Sakon let out another yelp as she twisted his ear painfully and he flailed uselessly. "I'm not! I'm not!" he cried. "This horse was stolen from Link, he helped Ganondorf steal a magical sword and the weird guy on the back on the horse was kidnapped from Termina! Oww! Let me go!"

"I still don't believe you." Jinaudi said, turning her gaze to Tingle for a moment. "I know he would never commit real crimes."

"Oww! Geez! Let go already, you're pulling it off!" Sakon protested loudly. "He really did commit real crimes! He's very capable of being a villain!"

Giving the thief a hard look, she gave his ear one more twist then let go. "It doesn't matter. He needs to come home where he belongs."

Sakon gave her a sour look as he rubbed at his ear then said. "I doubt Ganondorf will allow that. Once you work for him, the only escape is death. Believe me, I know!"

Jinaudi adjusted her grip on Minoko and gave Sakon a determined look. "We were going to fight for my daughter and we will fight for my son! We will take him back!"

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The Postman stared across the bridge in shock, completely dumbfounded by what he saw. His entire family stood there, aunts, uncles, cousins, even the extended family. They were standing at attention, weapons drawn and ready to fight and The Postman even saw his parents among the group. Pushing aside his surprise, he didn't want them to see him and stepped behind Ganondorf, staring at his feet ashamed.

Ganondorf glanced over his shoulder at him and gave him a questioning look. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"That's my family, sir...I don't want them to recognize me..."

"You're wearing a mask." Ganondorf snapped, squinting across the bridge. He now saw that they were all indeed postmen and he frowned.

"What do they want?" he demanded. "Why would postmen fight with the hero?"

"They must have heard about my sister, sir, and came to take her back..."

Ganondorf's eyes narrowed. "Give them the girl so they'll leave. I don't need more people on the opposing side."

The Postman hesitated. "I can't, sir. I sent my sister home with Sakon. She's no longer here."

Ganondorf eyed the army of postmen a moment then drew his sword. "Then I'll get rid of them myself." he stated.

The Postman let out a gasp and grabbed a hold of Ganondorf's arm, stopping him from raising the sword. "You can't, sir! They're my family! Please don't!"

Ganondorf glared down at him. "Let me go!" he snapped. "This is war, there's no time for sentiments!"

The Postman was desperate and stared up at Ganondorf, his eyes begging. "Please, sir! Don't kill my family!"

Ganondorf gave his arm a shake to no avail. "Let me go!" he snarled.

The Postman clung on even tighter. "They're no threat to you, they're postal workers, not warriors! Please, sir, don't kill them!"

Ganondorf gave his arm another shake. "You're pathetic! Begging does not make me change my mind!"

"Please!"

Ganondorf stared down at him a moment, then lifted his arm in an attempt to dislodge him. The Postman hung on, being lifted with the arm and Ganondorf let out a growl of frustration. "Either you let me go now or you'll be the first postman I skewer!"

"No, sir, I can't let you kill my family!"

Ganondorf's expression darkened considerably and without any warning, he punched The Postman hard in the stomach knocking him to the ground. The Postman gasped in pain and clutched at his stomach having felt his scar rip open. Ganondorf stared down at him with a scowl then turned his attention back to the army which still hadn't moved.

Wanting to kill the postmen before they attacked, Ganondorf raised the sword up and closed his eyes to summon up the swords power. Nothing happened. Ganondorf opened an eye and tried again. The sword remained cold and dead. He could feel the power within it but it refused to obey him. Scowling, he looked the sword over, not sure what the problem was.

"I don't understand!" Ganondorf snarled in frustration. "The sword's previous master is dead! Why won't it recognize me as master? I'm the first person to use it in over 1000 years! Why-"

Ganondorf paused mid-rant as realization crossed his face. Reaching down, he grabbed The Postman by the shirt and jerked him up.

"Did you use the sword after you stole it?" he demanded. "Did you do anything to it?"

The Postman winced in pain, still holding onto his bleeding stomach as Ganondorf gave him a hard shake.

"Did you use the sword!" Ganondorf boomed, jaw clenching in fury.

"Ah...perhaps?" The Postman answered. "I may have accidentally used it against Mr. Link..."

"Fool!" Ganondorf yelled, giving him another violent shake. "Do you have any idea what you've done? You took mastership of the sword! It's useless to me now!"

The Postman stared at the sword with wide eyes. "Oh! Sorry, sir, it wasn't on purpose! I don't even know how to use a sword!"

Ganondorf bared his teeth in a snarl and reeled back the sword, his intent clear. "You can consider yourself fired!" he growled, holding The Postman steady.

Just as he was bringing it towards The Postman's head, the postal army made their move and surged forward with a loud war-cry. Ganondorf immediately dropped The Postman to the ground and jumped into action as his Gerudos charged to meet the attack head-on. The Postman could only stare in horror as the two sides met.

The white of The Postman blended in with the rainbow of the Gerudos and both sides attacked viciously, using everything they had to get the upper hand. The postmen ran, swinging their mailbags like maces, smashing the Gerudos in the faces and used them to tie them up. They wielded letter openers like swords and were fast enough to avoid the blasts of energy Ganondorf kept shooting their way. Every time a Gerudo would stab at a postmen, they would dodge the attack and clock the Gerudo hard in the head with their mailbags.

Tingle could be seen dancing and twirling about among the battle, fairy held over head, unafraid and unconcerned with what was going on around him.

The Postman was in the centre of the chaos, staring around himself in horror, knowing this entire fight had resulted from his actions. The battle raged around him but he stood, unmoving and unnoticed by everyone.

Ganondorf shot another blast of power, swearing under his breath when he missed again. At this rate, he'd drain his powers and he hadn't even injured anyone! The fight was positively ridiculous in his opinion and neither side had made a single kill yet. A glint of green across the bridge caught his attention and he glanced over. Link was charging across the bridge, a massive army of Gorons and Zoras behind him.

Ganondorf clenched his sword tightly in his fist, now realizing just how outnumbered his Gerudos were. They'd never stand a chance. He had to do something right now or they'd all be slaughtered within minutes. Gazing around the battlefield, Ganondorf's eyes fell on The Postman who still hadn't moved from where he'd left him. Stalking over, he grabbed The Postman by the scruff of the neck and forced his sword into the man's hands. Giving The Postman a shake, he pointed to the quickly approaching armies.

"Kill them!" he ordered. "Use the sword's power!"

The Postman took a deep, raspy breath then looked up at him. "You fired me, sir. I no longer work for you."

Ganondorf clouted him hard across the head. "Just do it, you pathetic wretch! Kill them all!"

The Postman gave a slow shake of the head. "I don't kill, Mr. Ganondorf."

Ganondorf gave him another violent shake. "Do it now or I'll take the sword and kill every member of your family in front of you!"

The Postman's eyes widened as Ganondorf began looking around himself at the different postmen. "Who should I kill first?" he asked. "Your little sister? Your parents?"

"No, sir! Don't!"

"Then do it! Kill Link's army and I'll let them live!"

Biting his bottom lip, The Postman looked down at the sword then up at the approaching armies. "I don't know how to use it, sir. It was an accident last time."

"DO IT NOW!" Ganondorf bellowed out.

"I don't know how!" The Postman cried, feeling desperate. "I don't know what to do!"

"You stupid, useless fool!" Ganondorf yelled, teeth bared in a snarl. "Feel out the power and force it to do what you want! You control it so use it!"

The Postman took a deep shaky breath and slowly raised the sword up, the metal feeling warm against his hand. Removing his other hand from his stomach, he placed it with the other, holding the sword steady. He closed his eyes and wasn't sure what he was supposed to feel. A slight tingling was running up and down his arms and he wondered if that was magic and concentrated on it, trying to figure it out. The tingling increased as well as the heat and it seemed to course through his veins hotly, almost painful. Unknown to him, the sword began to glow a bright yellow, recognizing its master and giving him all of its power at his request. The Postman gasped as more and more of the power flowed into him, not sure what to do with it or how to use it. It seemed to bubble in his veins, demanding to be used and he grimaced at the pain.

"Hurry you fool!" Ganondorf snarled. "They're almost here!"

Not listening, The Postman concentrated all of the power into himself, the immense amount of it scaring him. With this power, he knew he could destroy everyone and everything around him and fought to control it. It felt like there was too much and he tried to stop the flow but found the sword wasn't co-operating, pushing more and more into him. Yelling in both pain and misery, The Postman felt like his skin was burning from the raw untrained magic. His entire body was in agony and he was vaguely aware that he was screaming and crying at the same time but couldn't stop. Feeling dizzy he didn't notice Link charging directly over to him.

Sparks and tendrils of power were coming off of him in waves and Ganondorf could feel the power, both envious and a little afraid. The Postman opened his eyes and gave another scream of agony as the power burned inside him, fighting to take control. The Postman became aware of his limbs moving on their own and fought against it, feeling as if he were drugged. He was forced to raise his sword and he turned towards the approaching hero, the magic sensing a threat.

Teeth clenched, he felt an uncontrollable rage fill him and the magic bubbled to an all-time high. Blinded by the power and rage filling his mind, The Postman shot a blast of power directly at Link, the energy releasing in a bright flash.

Link's eyes widened and he threw himself out of the way, barely managing to avoid the blast. The energy hit the canyon wall, instantly incinerating the rocks as if they were nothing but paper. Link stared up at the gaping hole in shock then rolled to his feet as another blast was shot at him. The battle had come to a stand-still, every man, women and creature stopping to stare in awe.

Link recognized The Postman as the Gerudo that had caused him so much trouble and narrowed his eyes. Why was it always this Gerudo? It appeared she was protecting Ganondorf with that same sword she'd attacked him with and knew he had to stop her before someone got hurt. Dodging both the attacks from the sword and also from Ganondorf, he charged, sword raised.

The Postman was horrified at what the power was making him do but no matter how much he fought against it, it was too strong. The power wanted to be used and he could do nothing to stop it. As Link approached, he hoped he wouldn't end up killing the boy even if he was the one who'd tried to kill him.

"Get him, you stupid worm!" Ganondorf yelled. "You're useless!

The Postman turned to face him, expression blank and shot a blast of energy at him, Ganondorf getting hit solidly in the chest. The Gerudo instinctively threw out a magical shield but the attack was much too strong and he let out a yell of pain as he was thrown to the ground.

Unable to stop himself, The Postman shot at everyone and everything around him, everyone screaming and dodging his attacks. The power was too hot, much too hot and he coughed wetly, beginning to feel numb.

Link, teeth clenched, reached him and before The Postman could attack again, tackled him to the ground. Link pinned his arm to the ground and the sword pulsed angrily, unable to attack him.

"Let go!" Link hissed at him, pulling at the red-hot sword. "Give it up!"

The Postman tried to release the sword but couldn't, his fingers seemingly frozen around the hilt. Link slammed his hand hard against the ground and The Postman winced but still couldn't let go. Link raised the master sword and placed it against The Postman's wrist.

"Let go or I make you let go!" he snarled.

The Postman stared up at him with terrified eyes, this position being all too familiar to him as memories of his stabbing came to mind. He couldn't seem to speak and desperately shook his head, hoping Link would realize he couldn't help himself. Link narrowed his eyes at the apparent defiance and pressed a knee painfully into his stomach. The Postman let out a sharp gasp as Link was applying pressure directly on his wound and felt nauseous.

Link closed his eyes a moment, not wanting to hurt the Gerudo but knew he had to stop this battle. Raising his sword and holding the wrist steady, he stared into the frightened brown eyes behind the mask, determined. Link paused. Wait. Brown eyes? Gerudos didn't have brown eyes... Reaching out, he pulled the mask off and froze at who he saw it was. The Postman stared up at him in both terror and pain and Link quickly pulled the sword away from him.

"Postman?" he questioned in disbelief. "You're alive?"

The Postman winced as Link removed his knee and panted, both from exhaustion and from pain. The hero felt a great heaviness lift itself off his shoulders and he stared down at The Postman with relief. He wasn't a murderer! He didn't kill an innocent person, The Postman was alright!

He didn't have long to contemplate this however as Ganondorf shot a large blast at energy into his chest from where the villain lay on the ground. Link flew backwards with a yell of surprise and hit the wall of the canyon with a crunch. Pieces of stone fell down around him and he slid down to the ground with a grimace.

Ganondorf rolled to his feet and approached Link, eyes narrowed and hand reaching to his belt to draw his regular sword. His armour was completely cracked and the villain was obviously hurt quite badly as he stalked slowly towards the hero, staggering slightly. Link groaned and got to his feet, still grasping the master sword tightly.

Ganondorf then charged directly at him sword raised and Link raised his own to block it. Sparks of energy crackled from the force of the blow and Ganondorf threw Link backwards being much bigger and stronger than the boy. As the hero and villain faced one another, The Postman gave a twitch, the power that consumed him, trying to make him stand. Weak from bloodloss, The Postman let out a moan as he very slowly was forced to his feet. Breathing heavily, the magic fought to take control again and he raised the sword against his will.

As the sword glowed and pulsed, creating a huge ball of energy, The Postman closed his eyes not wanting to see what was about to happen. The power was out of control and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Letting out another scream of pain as the magic ripped through his body as it gathered, he felt it begin to form into a powerful blast. A blast strong enough to kill everyone.

"JIHIRO!"

His eyes snapped open at the sound of his given name and he saw his entire family gathered in front of him worriedly. All of his brothers and sisters stood side by side as his mother looked both horrified and worried. She reached out towards him as the energy crackled and sparked threateningly.

"Jihiro!" she called again.

The Postman's eyes widened when he realized the sword was going to kill them; kill them all. He could feel the magic's intent and it was going to burn them all, turn everything into nothing but ash. He let out a yell and grit his teeth as he fought against the sword, trying desperately to stop it. He couldn't let it do this, he wouldn't do this.

Closing his eyes, he delved into his own subconscious, and felt for the core of the magic, trying to root it out. He could feel its icy presence picking at his memories and even his thoughts. When he was sure he knew where it currently was, he pushed outwards with his mind as hard as he could. At first it felt as if he were pushing against a wall but then slowly he felt it moving backwards. It hurt his mind to do so but he refused to stop pushing. The magic fought against him viciously but he was determined. At last he felt the presence in his mind leave and he was brought back to reality having complete control of the magic. The magic was now obedient and quiet as it tickled his skin warmly and he almost lost his balance now having control of his own body.

His arms shaking, The Postman raised the sword above his head and stabbed it deep into the stone ground, the magic leaving him completely. Then with an exhausted shudder, he fell to the ground, his family instantly running to him.

Link dodged an attack from Ganondorf, the Gerudo King much slower than normal and lashed out with his own sword. Ganondorf jumped back and tried to summon an energy ball but was too weak to get more than a few sparks. Cursing, he swung his sword at Link, frustrated when the boy managed to block it. Panting heavily, he knew he was too hurt to win this. His Gerudos were all tied and bound and three separate armies were glaring at him arms crossed. If he did manage to best the hero, he'd have to take on thousands of different creatures at once and he knew he didn't have the current power.

Yelling in frustration, Ganondorf backed up several feet from Link, gathering all his remaining power. Baring his teeth in a snarl, he gave Link a look of pure hate.

"You haven't won this yet, boy. You'll never win against me."

As Link charged towards him, sword raised, Ganondorf disappeared in a crackle of power, all the Gerudos disappearing with him. Link let out a cry of anger, knowing Ganondorf would only continue to torment Hyrule. Sheathing his sword angrily, Link turned to where The Postman lay on the ground. Approaching, he pushed his way through the family and knelt down beside the pale postman

The man's shirt was soaked in blood and under stern supervision of The Postman's mother, he lifted it to see what the damage was. Taking a deep breath of surprise he saw it was the same wound he'd caused all those weeks ago. The Postman had lost a lot of blood and the magic had left him completely exhausted and Link wasn't sure what to do.

"He's going to bleed to death!" he said, looking up at the family. "He needs a healing item, quickly!"

The Postman's mother covered her mouth in horror. "We're postmen," she said. "We've never used them before!"

"Someone must have something!" Link cried. "He's going to die!"

Just then he felt a soft nudge to his arm. Link turned around and saw Tingle standing there holding out his fairy with a pained expression. He was very hesitant and obviously didn't want to but the small man still pressed the bottle into Link's hands.

"Take Tingle's fairy." he said. "He saved Tingle and Tingle will save him in return."

Link accepted the bottle with a smile, knowing just how much having a fairy meant to Tingle.

Tingle let out a deep sigh. "Tingle can always find another fairy..."

Link turned back to The Postman and held the bottle over him, uncorking it. The small, pink fairy flew out of the bottle and floated around The Postman, bathing him in the healing magic of the fairies. Everyone watched in relief as the wound slowly closed over and The Postman began getting a better colour to his skin. When the fairy was done, it disappeared in a flash of sparkles, gone to regain its energy from the Great Fairy.

There was silence a moment then The Postman groaned and slowly opened his eyes. Immediately his family surrounded him and he was enveloped by all 14 member of his immediate family. Confused, he looked up and saw Link standing over him, giving him a gentle smile.

"I'm glad you're alright." he said. "This is all my fault, postman and I'm sorry."

The Postman was silent a moment as he stared at the hero then he said. "I don't understand, Mr. Link...You don't want to kill me?"

The hero shook his head. "No, everything was a horrible misunderstanding. I thought at the time you had kidnapped princess Zelda and were helping Ganondorf but I was mistaken. I'm sorry, postman. I almost killed you and made you go into hiding."

The Postman looked away. "I've been working for Ganondorf after he saved my life..."

Link pushed aside his questions about why Ganondorf would save him then said. "I know and I don't care. It was my fault you had to resort to that and as long as you go back to being a postman, then as far as I'm concerned, it didn't happen."

The Postman's mouth dropped open. "Go back to being a postman?" he asked, not sure if he really believed it.

Everyone nodded, giving him bright smiles.

The Postman couldn't believe it, his life was going to go back to normal! He'd be able to deliver mail again! For the first time in a long time, The Postman gave a genuine smile.

Link helped him to his feet and as everyone crossed the Gerudo bridge, Link asked. "So, where's Epona, postman?"

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Far from Hyrule on his way to Termina, Sakon laughed and laughed as he rode across the fields.

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><p><strong><span>Authornote:<span>**

**Oh, Sakon, Link's totally gonna track you down and punch you in the face...sigh.**

**This story was a lot of fun to write and I do have an idea for a third part but I'll just wait and see how many people would be interested.** **I hope you enjoed the final chapter and please remember to review! :D**


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